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Clips from Modern Family - Family Portrait (S01E01)

"Look at us here all in white. What are we, a cricket team?"
Modern Family
"News flash. Life is not perfect, Claire."
Modern Family
"Now calm the hell down."
Modern Family
"Okay, Dad, that's great, and that's really easy for you to say."
Modern Family
"But do you think I like being like this? No, I don't."
Modern Family
"If you have some quick-and-easy fix, why don't you just give it to me right now?"
Modern Family
"Oh. [All Groaning]"
Modern Family
"I- I got this, baby."
Modern Family
"No. What did- What did you do? Now two people are dirty."
Modern Family
"Well, three. Okay, you know what?"
Modern Family
"That's for "kitschy." Mud fight!"
Modern Family
"[Claire] No. Don't do that. No, no, no! Stop it!"
Modern Family
"Everybody get back in line. Come on, guys, stop."
Modern Family
"- [Chattering, Laughing] - [Claire] Damn it. Damn it! Guys!"
Modern Family
"Excuse me. Are we still doing this?"
Modern Family
"[All Laughing]"
Modern Family
"- Now we are. - [Gloria] We're ready!"
Modern Family
"[Laughing] Whoo-hoo!"
Modern Family
"- Say "cheese." - Say "cheese"!"
Modern Family
"I had this mental picture of the family that, if I was lucky enough,"
Modern Family
"Wound up with this sorry bunch."
Modern Family
"And I'm thankful for that every day."
Modern Family
"Well, most days."
Modern Family
"Yeah. I would."
Modern Family
"A skosh to the left."
Modern Family
"There we go. [Inhales]"
Modern Family
"Whatever. I'm gonna have to take the picture down when I repaint the wall anyhow."
Modern Family
"Kill me now. What?"
Modern Family
"♪ Don't know how I got so lucky ♪"
Modern Family
"Mm-hmm. I love you."
Modern Family
"- Is that a chip on the frame right there? - No. No."
Modern Family
"I can see it. Honey."
Modern Family
"[Sighs]"
Modern Family
"[Crinkling] Oh. Why are you crunching?"
Modern Family
"What? Why would I look at her dress? I love you."
Modern Family
"and know that you were angry at me when we took it."
Modern Family
"[Glass Shatters] [Clattering]"
Modern Family