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Clips from Please Like Me - Horrible Sandwiches (S01E01)

Yes. Yes.

"Yes. Yes."

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- Great. - Ok.

"- Great. - Ok."

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Bring her in!

"Bring her in!"

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What are your traditions when someone dies?

"What are your traditions when someone dies?"

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Uh, what do you mean?

"Uh, what do you mean?"

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Well, what happens at a Thai funeral?

"Well, what happens at a Thai funeral?"

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Oh, my family are Christian.

"Oh, my family are Christian."

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Oh, so that's... that's more or less the same, then, is it?

"Oh, so that's... that's more or less the same, then, is it?"

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Uh, yes.

"Uh, yes."

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- Happy birthday, Josh. - Oh, thanks.

"- Happy birthday, Josh. - Oh, thanks."

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Look, I really should thank you for taking this one off my hands.

"Look, I really should thank you for taking this one off my hands."

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you don't have to talk to him anymore.

"you don't have to talk to him anymore."

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"Mae, where do you want to go for dinner?"

""Mae, where do you want to go for dinner?""

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"Oh, I don't mind." "Well, I'm easy, so where do you want to go?"

""Oh, I don't mind." "Well, I'm easy, so where do you want to go?""

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I say, "Oh, I really don't mind."

"I say, "Oh, I really don't mind.""

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"Jesus fucking Christ, Mae. Why can't you just make a decision?"

""Jesus fucking Christ, Mae. Why can't you just make a decision?""

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When do we have to be at church?

"When do we have to be at church?"

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Geoffrey!

"Geoffrey!"

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Geoffrey!

"Geoffrey!"

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Niamh's here.

"Niamh's here."

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What is that fucking fascinator?

"What is that fucking fascinator?"

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Actually, Peg used to swear in church all the time.

"Actually, Peg used to swear in church all the time."

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We've organised this birthday party thing for you later if you want to come.

"We've organised this birthday party thing for you later if you want to come."

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Honestly, we can just ignore my birthday.

"Honestly, we can just ignore my birthday."

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No, we just thought you'd want to get away from all of this stuff.

"No, we just thought you'd want to get away from all of this stuff."

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You should probably go, Josh. You'd have a good time.

"You should probably go, Josh. You'd have a good time."

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Are you listening to us?

"Are you listening to us?"

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to be talking in a church waiting for a funeral, everyone can hear you.

"to be talking in a church waiting for a funeral, everyone can hear you."

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Now, don't go quiet on me.

"Now, don't go quiet on me."

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Claire, have you got anything embarrassing to tell me about Josh?

"Claire, have you got anything embarrassing to tell me about Josh?"

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Um... Oh, the first time we had sex we weren't actually having sex

"Um... Oh, the first time we had sex we weren't actually having sex"

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because he was just rubbing between me and the sheets.

"because he was just rubbing between me and the sheets."

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No, that's not true.

"No, that's not true."

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- It's definitely true. - It's not true.

"- It's definitely true. - It's not true."

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- No, it is. - Is it?

"- No, it is. - Is it?"

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It's true. I told Tom.

"It's true. I told Tom."

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I was just wondering if you were ready to start.

"I was just wondering if you were ready to start."

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We might just need a moment. Yep.

"We might just need a moment. Yep."

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So disrespectful.

"So disrespectful."

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I can't do it.

"I can't do it."

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- Yes, you can. - No, I can't.

"- Yes, you can. - No, I can't."

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- You said you wanted to. - No, I can't do it.

"- You said you wanted to. - No, I can't do it."

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- Here, give it to me. I'll do it. - No, no. No, I'll do it.

"- Here, give it to me. I'll do it. - No, no. No, I'll do it."

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Hello, everyone.

"Hello, everyone."

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Um, as most of you probably know,

"Um, as most of you probably know,"

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my Aunty Peg, uh, Margaret, was quite...

"my Aunty Peg, uh, Margaret, was quite..."

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She quite liked to control things that happened, and this is no exception.

"She quite liked to control things that happened, and this is no exception."

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"I've been going to church every Sunday for my entire life.

""I've been going to church every Sunday for my entire life."

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For the first 60 years it was because I believed in heaven.

"For the first 60 years it was because I believed in heaven."

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I was terrified of dying, of becoming nothing.

"I was terrified of dying, of becoming nothing."

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I don't think I believe in heaven anymore,

"I don't think I believe in heaven anymore,"

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but after 60 years of Sunday mornings,

"but after 60 years of Sunday mornings,"

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I thought I may as well commit and hedge my bets.

"I thought I may as well commit and hedge my bets."

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Also, I quite enjoyed the morning tea.

"Also, I quite enjoyed the morning tea."

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I have requested to be buried because I want my body to be given to nature.

"I have requested to be buried because I want my body to be given to nature."

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I want it to be snacked on by plants and animals

"I want it to be snacked on by plants and animals"

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the way I have snacked on plants and animals throughout my life.

"the way I have snacked on plants and animals throughout my life."

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Rose has pretty much been a kook her whole life

"Rose has pretty much been a kook her whole life"

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and Josh has decided to become a homosexual,

"and Josh has decided to become a homosexual,"

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"The two of them have taught me the most important lesson of my life

""The two of them have taught me the most important lesson of my life"

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and that is that you don't love the people you love

"and that is that you don't love the people you love"

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because they do what you want, but because of who they are."

"because they do what you want, but because of who they are.""

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"If you're hearing this sorry little speech it's because I'm dead,

""If you're hearing this sorry little speech it's because I'm dead,"

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and the terrible thing about that is that I won't be sharing my life

"and the terrible thing about that is that I won't be sharing my life"

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with the two people I love most in the world,

"with the two people I love most in the world,"

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my almost-daughter Rose and my almost-grandson Josh."

"my almost-daughter Rose and my almost-grandson Josh.""

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I think that was her being nice. I'm not... honestly, I'm not sure.

"I think that was her being nice. I'm not... honestly, I'm not sure."

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"Don't make too much fuss over my death.

""Don't make too much fuss over my death."

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I'm looking forward to joining my husband, Walter,

"I'm looking forward to joining my husband, Walter,"

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whether it be in heaven or hell or in the bellies of maggots."

"whether it be in heaven or hell or in the bellies of maggots.""

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Thank you, Jordan.

"Thank you, Jordan."

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Stop there, gentlemen.

"Stop there, gentlemen."

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And now roll it in nice and slow.

"And now roll it in nice and slow."

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Bye, Aunty Peg.

"Bye, Aunty Peg."

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Hey, Geoffrey.

"Hey, Geoffrey."

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How are you?

"How are you?"

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Man, these sandwiches are so bad.

"Man, these sandwiches are so bad."

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My mum made so many I thought someone better eat some.

"My mum made so many I thought someone better eat some."

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I'll take a couple.

"I'll take a couple."

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Ok.

"Ok."

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Have you had an ok day?

"Have you had an ok day?"

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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- Peg was a super-cool lady. - Yeah, wasn't she just?

"- Peg was a super-cool lady. - Yeah, wasn't she just?"

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I don't have to stick around if it's making you uncomfortable.

"I don't have to stick around if it's making you uncomfortable."

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No, no, it's alright. Stay.

"No, no, it's alright. Stay."

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Everyone loves you.

"Everyone loves you."

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Hi.

"Hi."

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Hi.

"Hi."

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Do you want us to... do anything?

"Do you want us to... do anything?"

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No.

"No."

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That's good.

"That's good."

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That's nice of him.

"That's nice of him."

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Hey, I forgot to tell you...

"Hey, I forgot to tell you..."

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walking the other day

"walking the other day"

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I saw a homeless woman rummaging through a charity bin.

"I saw a homeless woman rummaging through a charity bin."

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She pulled out a pair of tracksuit pants, held them up to her body

"She pulled out a pair of tracksuit pants, held them up to her body"

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in the reflection of a window to see if they suited her,

"in the reflection of a window to see if they suited her,"

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decided that they didn't suit her

"decided that they didn't suit her"

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and then got disappointed and put them back in the charity bin.

"and then got disappointed and put them back in the charity bin."

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Hmm! Isn't that amazing?

"Hmm! Isn't that amazing?"

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Yeah, that's incredible.

"Yeah, that's incredible."

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I'm gonna... I'm gonna go somewhere else.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna go somewhere else."

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Hi, Geoffrey.

"Hi, Geoffrey."

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Oh, hey, Niamh.

"Oh, hey, Niamh."

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Isn't it sad?

"Isn't it sad?"

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Hey, I'm so sorry about you and Josh.

"Hey, I'm so sorry about you and Josh."

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Thanks, Niamh. I'm just glad I can still be here today.

"Thanks, Niamh. I'm just glad I can still be here today."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Aren't men jerks?

"Aren't men jerks?"

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You know, the sad thing about me breaking up with Tom

"You know, the sad thing about me breaking up with Tom"

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is that you and I won't get to hang out anymore.

"is that you and I won't get to hang out anymore."

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Really? But we never hung out.

"Really? But we never hung out."

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Well, at least you don't have to hang out with Claire and Tom either.

"Well, at least you don't have to hang out with Claire and Tom either."

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Oh, no, I've been hanging out with them heaps.

"Oh, no, I've been hanging out with them heaps."

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You know, isn't it weird that Claire didn't wear black?

"You know, isn't it weird that Claire didn't wear black?"

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Apparently Peg wanted us to wear happy clothes, but I didn't know either.

"Apparently Peg wanted us to wear happy clothes, but I didn't know either."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Oh, my God, Geoffrey, you're so funny.

"Oh, my God, Geoffrey, you're so funny."

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Rose. Rose.

"Rose. Rose."

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I'm... I'm so sorry.

"I'm... I'm so sorry."

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