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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Cop-Con (S04E04)

so I put his hand in a bowl of warm water.

"so I put his hand in a bowl of warm water."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Uh, no, it's the smartest because it involves biology.

"Uh, no, it's the smartest because it involves biology."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I bet it worked already. Let's go check.

"I bet it worked already. Let's go check."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Hitchcock, no! - He's drowning, he's drowning!

"- Hitchcock, no! - He's drowning, he's drowning!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Save him, man!

"Save him, man!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I take it back, Jake. Great prank.

"I take it back, Jake. Great prank."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I hear Bill Powell's giving a lecture on advances

"I hear Bill Powell's giving a lecture on advances"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

in appellate court e-filing techniques.

"in appellate court e-filing techniques."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're more interested in the extracurriculars.

"We're more interested in the extracurriculars."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Fart-five.

"Fart-five."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

For instance, it's famed thermometer museum.

"For instance, it's famed thermometer museum."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thermometer museum? Uh, no thanky.

"Thermometer museum? Uh, no thanky."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

One, free hotel rooms.

"One, free hotel rooms."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I get to sleep in a bed by myself.

"I get to sleep in a bed by myself."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No wife, no kids, just Terry starfishing on a Cal King.

"No wife, no kids, just Terry starfishing on a Cal King."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Two, a huge hall full of cool police tech.

"Two, a huge hall full of cool police tech."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Last year, I got to try out a heat ray.

"Last year, I got to try out a heat ray."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Three, the Buffalo P.D. always throws an insane party.

"Three, the Buffalo P.D. always throws an insane party."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Last year, Amy got so drunk,

"Last year, Amy got so drunk,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and she's real bad at it.

"and she's real bad at it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This isn't an excuse for you to party.

"This isn't an excuse for you to party."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, frankly, we could all use a party to blow off some steam.

"I mean, frankly, we could all use a party to blow off some steam."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

then the precinct almost got shut down.

"then the precinct almost got shut down."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I got hit by a bus.

"I got hit by a bus."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, we have been through a lot,

"Well, we have been through a lot,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but, frankly, our reputation has taken a hit.

"but, frankly, our reputation has taken a hit."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's why I'm running for a seat on the convention's board of directors.

"That's why I'm running for a seat on the convention's board of directors."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

If I win, it will look good for the precinct.

"If I win, it will look good for the precinct."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So please don't do anything to jeopardize that.

"So please don't do anything to jeopardize that."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Understood?

"Understood?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's a big ole bummer.

"That's a big ole bummer."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

If there's one thing I know, it's how to sneak out to a party

"If there's one thing I know, it's how to sneak out to a party"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I used to do it all the time.

"I used to do it all the time."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, I did it a few times.

"Well, I did it a few times."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There, okay? Now you know everything.

"There, okay? Now you know everything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, let's party!

"All right, let's party!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I gotta hit that pillow top. It's starfish o'clock.

"I gotta hit that pillow top. It's starfish o'clock."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

aka Buffalo Party Department.

"aka Buffalo Party Department."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, detectives, here are your room assignments.

"All right, detectives, here are your room assignments."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He likes his Q&A's moderated.

"He likes his Q&A's moderated."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Why is that? - I just...

"- Why is that? - I just..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

sick of the moderator bias.

"sick of the moderator bias."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I couldn't agree more. Your story checks out.

"I couldn't agree more. Your story checks out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Let's check out some tech.

"Let's check out some tech."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ooh, look.

"Ooh, look."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is a long-range heart beat detector.

"This is a long-range heart beat detector."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You can hear a human pulse through walls.

"You can hear a human pulse through walls."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm, hi. Uh, Norm.

"I'm, hi. Uh, Norm."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Anyway, it was so nice to meet you. - Why?

"- Anyway, it was so nice to meet you. - Why?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, uh, I'll see you around.

"Okay, uh, I'll see you around."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Guys, I was just talking to that amazing woman

"Guys, I was just talking to that amazing woman"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- No, you chunked it. - Ugh, of course I did.

"- No, you chunked it. - Ugh, of course I did."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm not Hitchcock when it comes to the ladies.

"I'm not Hitchcock when it comes to the ladies."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- You don't wanna be. - Oh, he's fearless.

"- You don't wanna be. - Oh, he's fearless."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's a robot that can patrol an empty building all by itself.

"It's a robot that can patrol an empty building all by itself."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, no, this is how it starts.

"Oh, no, this is how it starts."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and see if our future selves show up

"and see if our future selves show up"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nope. Looks like we're in the clear.

"Nope. Looks like we're in the clear."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- It's kind of cute. - Hey, check it out.

"- It's kind of cute. - Hey, check it out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It emits a sound that you can only hear if you're 35 or under.

"It emits a sound that you can only hear if you're 35 or under."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, I also hate the sound

"Ah, I also hate the sound"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- that I definitely hear. - Me too.

"- that I definitely hear. - Me too."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's so high-pitched or low-pitched.

"It's so high-pitched or low-pitched."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

My ears are ringing from the pain of being young.

"My ears are ringing from the pain of being young."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ugh, so not gnarly.

"Ugh, so not gnarly."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain, you missed the tech expo.

"Captain, you missed the tech expo."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We got all this swag.

"We got all this swag."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Six tote bags. Terry can tote anything.

"Six tote bags. Terry can tote anything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, no.

"Oh, no."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna hide behind you like you're a tree.

"I'm gonna hide behind you like you're a tree."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Uh, why are you doing that?

"Uh, why are you doing that?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Jeffrey Bouché, the living embodiment of evil.

"Captain Jeffrey Bouché, the living embodiment of evil."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Raymond Holt? As I live and breathe.

"Raymond Holt? As I live and breathe."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You have not aged a day.

"You have not aged a day."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Kevin is fine. Cheddar is a dog.

"Kevin is fine. Cheddar is a dog."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He has no concept of good or bad.

"He has no concept of good or bad."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, I wanted to tell you that I am also running

"Hey, I wanted to tell you that I am also running"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- for the board of directors. - You are what?

"- for the board of directors. - You are what?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, I had no idea that you were running,

"Yeah, I had no idea that you were running,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I hope not.

"I hope not."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're being a little harsh on him, Captain.

"You're being a little harsh on him, Captain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've been up for promotions against that man on six occasions,

"I've been up for promotions against that man on six occasions,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and he's prevailed every single time.

"and he's prevailed every single time."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because he's nice and people like him?

"because he's nice and people like him?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

let alone a fellow officer,

"let alone a fellow officer,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but that man is full of balone-nya.

"but that man is full of balone-nya."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's so vile, we should use

"He's so vile, we should use"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

the crude Americanization of the word.

"the crude Americanization of the word."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Holt went to bed early

"Holt went to bed early"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, how do you know he's in for the night?

"Well, how do you know he's in for the night?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because his breakfast order is hanging on the doorknob.

"Because his breakfast order is hanging on the doorknob."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Muffin, comma, English.

"Muffin, comma, English."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And that means it's time for us to hard, comma, party.

"And that means it's time for us to hard, comma, party."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Hey, what happened? - Sorry, bro, they busted us.

"- Hey, what happened? - Sorry, bro, they busted us."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

'Cause the party got too crazy?

"'Cause the party got too crazy?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Yeah, totally. - They've been taking bribes.

"- Yeah, totally. - They've been taking bribes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's what you should tell everyone.

"That's what you should tell everyone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, no.

"Oh, no."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The party's not happenin.

"The party's not happenin."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That means we're just

"That means we're just"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

in a hotel in Rochester. This is a nightmare.

"in a hotel in Rochester. This is a nightmare."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I learned a bunch of new dance moves for tonight.

"I learned a bunch of new dance moves for tonight."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Ones where you move your butt. - Ugh, screw this.

"- Ones where you move your butt. - Ugh, screw this."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and we're not gonna give up yet 'cause we're the Nine-Nine.

"and we're not gonna give up yet 'cause we're the Nine-Nine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Can I borrow $200 for alcohol? - Mm-hmm.

"- Can I borrow $200 for alcohol? - Mm-hmm."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Nine-Nine is throwing a party!

"The Nine-Nine is throwing a party!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, I talked to some of the vendors at the tech expo,

"Okay, I talked to some of the vendors at the tech expo,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

sound system, and...

"sound system, and..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

beer cooler.

"beer cooler."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Leak-free, insolated body bag.

"Leak-free, insolated body bag."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Our beer is dying to get inside.

"Our beer is dying to get inside."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't know, man.

"I don't know, man."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Holt didn't want us going to a party,

"Holt didn't want us going to a party,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

he certainly doesn't want us throwing one.

"he certainly doesn't want us throwing one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, poor, simple Terry.

"Oh, poor, simple Terry."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

For such a bemuscled specimen,

"For such a bemuscled specimen,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

you certainly do frighten easily.

"you certainly do frighten easily."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I promise you, Holt won't find out.

"I promise you, Holt won't find out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

His room is all the way across the hotel from ours.

"His room is all the way across the hotel from ours."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, drink it in, Peralta.

"Ah, drink it in, Peralta."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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