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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Lefty Call (S06E06)

"'CAUSE SHE JUST HAD A MISCARRIAGE."
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"IT'S A SHAME."
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"SHAME?"
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"THEY DO HAVE NINE KIDS."
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"WOW, THAT WAS PRETTY FAST."
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"HEY! ( screaming )"
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"I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU ALL GODDAMN DAY."
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"- WE WERE GETTING A HAIRCUT. - THIS IS A BAG OF SHIT."
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"HE ATE THOSE LEFTOVERS THAT THAT ASSHOLE GAVE US."
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"- REALLY? - "WE SHALL SEE.""
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"- "WE SHALL SEE." DAVIDAY. - THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT."
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"- IS THAT POSSIBLE, THAT THAT NUT DID THAT? - YES YES."
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"- HE PUT CRAP IN THERE. HE PUT SOMETHING IN THERE. - JESUS CHRIST."
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"YOU GOTTA GO DOWN THERE AND TELL THIS MOTHERFUCKER"
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"- YOU'RE GONNA KICK HIS ASS. - OH, YEAH."
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"- WHY? - BECAUSE I TOOK THE FOOD HOME."
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"- I PROMISED HIM THAT I WOULD EAT IT. - ALL RIGHT, YOU GO DOWN THERE."
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"- YOU GO. - YEAH, BETTER IDEA:"
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"YOU GO, LARRY. YOU GO TELL HIM"
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"THAT YOU'VE BEEN SHITTING ALL OVER YOURSELF ALL DAY,"
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"YOU GOT SHIT RUNNING DOWN YOUR LEG."
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"BECAUSE IT'S MORE DRAMATIC THAT WAY."
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"I DON'T WANNA TELL A GUY I GOT SHIT RUNNING DOWN MY LEG."
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"ALL RIGHT, TELL HIM WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. TELL HIM YOU'VE BEEN"
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"- SICK SICK SICK AS A DOG, OKAY? - ALL RIGHT."
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"I'M GONNA GO TO THE RESTAURANT RIGHT NOW,"
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"- SEE WHAT HE SAYS. - GO!"
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"- YOU KNOW, THESE WAITERS ARE NUTS. - Jeff: HE'S NUTS."
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"- Jeff: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING BACK. - YOU GOTTA BE SO NICE TO 'EM."
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"- JEFF, THROW THIS OUT. - YOU THROW IT OUT."
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"- I'VE BEEN CLEANING THIS SHIT. - YOU GOT GLOVES!"
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"HELLO, DAVIDAY."
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"YOU KNOW, I ATE THE LEFTOVERS"
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"AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW"
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"NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU GOT SICK, DO YOU MEAN"
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"THAT THE ANIMAL GOT SICK OR THAT YOU GOT SICK?"
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"- NO NO, I GOT SICK. - YOU GOT SICK?"
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"PERHAPS WAS TAMPERED WITH."
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"WELL, IT MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT TAMPERED WITH."
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"- REALLY? - ABSOLUTELY."
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"ARE YOU SURE?"
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"I'M VERY SURE."
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"- I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. - LARRY, HOW CAN YOU ACCUSE ME OF THAT?"
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"- ALL DAY? - ALL DAY."
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"AHA. CHA CHA?"
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"COME HERE FOR A MOMENT, PLEASE."
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"LARRY DOESN'T FEEL WELL. HE SAID THAT HIS BOWELS ARE IRREGULAR."
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"HOW MANY TIMES HAS LARRY GONE TO THE BATHROOM TODAY?"
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"THANK YOU."
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"LARRY, THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A MAN WHO'S SICK AT ALL."
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"UM..."
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"I'M JUST GONNA USE THE BATHROOM."
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"- Leon: WHAT? - Loretta: HMM?"
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"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?"
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"THE TOILET WASN'T WORKING PROPERLY."
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"- OH, OKAY, GREAT. - I HAD TO JUST JIGGLE IT AROUND."
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"OH, OKAY. SO IT'S ALL--"
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"HEY, STAY HERE FOR A SECOND. NO NO, I JUST WANT TO SEE"
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"YOUR HANDIWORK. HOLD ON."
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"HEY, DON'T GO ANYWHERE. DON'T GO ANYWHERE."
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"OH, WAIT A SECOND."
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"LARRY?"
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"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MILLIONS OF VIRGIN TREES"
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"ARE CUT DOWN TO MAKE THIS TOILET PAPER,"
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"WHICH IS CONTRIBUTING TO GLOBAL WARMING,"
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"- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS TELLING THEM. - THIS ISN'T THE KIND"
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"- OF TOILET PAPER WE USE IN THIS HOUSE. - NO, IT'S NOT."
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"WE USE RECYCLED POST-CONSUMER TOILET PAPER."
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"- THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING-- - SO WHY DO WE HAVE TONS OF TOILET PAPER IN THIS BATHROOM?"
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"AND WHY WERE YOU IN THIS BATHROOM USING THIS TOILET PAPER?"
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"- WE ASKED YOU? HOLD THERE, HOLD UP. - ( all talking at once )"
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"YOU LIARS, YOU WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TOILET PAPER."
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"- HE WANTED ACCESS TO OUR BATHROOM. - AUNTIE RAE,"
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"DON'T BLAME THIS ON ME, AUNTIE RAE."
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"HEY, DAVID, COME DOWN HERE, PERVO."
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"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HOW DID YOU GET IN?"
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"THESE KIDS HAVE GOT TO STOP LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN, MAN."
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"YOU KNOW WHAT? I'D ATTACK YOU RIGHT NOW."
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"- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - YOU CALLED MY GIRLFRIEND"
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"AND HIT ON HER AND SHE DOESN'T RESPOND"
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"- AND YOU FUCKING GET HER FIRED, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. - WHAT?"
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"FIRST OF ALL, I NEVER HIT ON HER."
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"- AND WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, "FIRED"? - BERT'S DAD AT THE BARBERSHOP."
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"YOU MADE THAT FUCKING MISCARRIAGE REMARK. SO HE FIRED HER"
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"- SHE WANTS MORE CHILDREN. - HOW MANY DOES SHE NEED?"
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"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, THE MESSIAH, TO COUNT?"
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"I GOT NEWS FOR YOU. THAT'S ENOUGH. BY THE WAY,"
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"IN CHINA YOU'RE ALLOWED TWO."
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"- THOSE PEOPLE WOULD BE KILLED IN CHINA. - CHINA WHAT?"
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"TWO-- TWO BABIES IN CHINA."
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"WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU HAVE THREE?"
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"- THEY EXECUTE YOU. - THEY KILL THE BABY?"
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"NOT THE BABY, IDIOT. THEY KILL THE PARENTS."
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"WELL, MAYBE THEY DON'T EXECUTE, BUT THEY GIVE YOU A GOOD DRESSING-DOWN."
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"HOW DARE YOU LOSE MY GIRLFRIEND'S JOB?"
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"SHE LOST HER HEALTH INSURANCE,"
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"SHE HAS NO SELF-WORTH ANYMORE."
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"- SHE LOST HER SELF-WORTH? OH, REALLY? - THAT'S RIGHT."
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"YOU GET ON THAT GODDAMN TELEPHONE AND YOU GET MY GIRLFRIEND'S JOB BACK."
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"YOU CALL BERT AND YOU APOLOGIZE."
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"- ON THE WAY TO WORK IN THE MORNING. - SIT ON MY TOILET?"
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"- YEAH. - THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY."
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"- WHY? - NOBODY SITS ON RICHARD LEWIS'S TOILET."
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"- YOU USE EVERY TOILET IN THE HOUSE? - THAT'S RIGHT. I ROTATE."
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"- I CAN'T USE THE BASEMENT? - NO, THAT'S FOR WEEKENDS."
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"- JESUS CHRIST. - I'LL TRY."
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"- THAT'S ALL I CAN DO. - YEAH, FINE."
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"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WANT A RIGHTY CALL."
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"WHAT'S THIS LEFTY BULLSHIT?"
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"I WANT A RIGHTY CALL."
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"- Hello? - OH, HEY, BARBARA?"
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"OH, HI, LARRY."
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"- ( shouts ) FUCK YOU! - ( screaming )"
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"THAT WOMAN'S OUT OF HER MIND, SCREAMING IN MY EAR LIKE THAT."
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"THANKS FOR TAKING ME, BY THE WAY."
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"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, MAN. IT'S A BIG FAVOR I'M DOING YOUR ASS, MAN."
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"HIS NAME'S DR. SCHAEFFER."
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"DR. SCHAEFFER. ALL RIGHT."
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"Leon's voice: YOU GET IN THAT ASS."
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"COME ON, YOU FUCKING SKINHEAD,"
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