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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Lena Horne (S01E01)

"I might just do that."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, yeah. I-I-I didn't get your name."
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"Day. Doris Day."
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"Cute. Cute name."
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"You know, with a name like that, you should be in show business."
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"Fozzie, will you get out of here?!"
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"I'll wait for you outside, Ms. Day."
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"I'm sorry about that, Lena."
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"Sometimes he's just un-bear-able."
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"Cute. Cute-o."
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"(speaks in mock Swedish)"
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"Der good spaghett. Dis here der good spaghett..."
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"Come hereski."
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"Is squiggly worm. Der wiggly squiggly scoo."
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"Come here. Come here."
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"Thankoo."
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"(growling)"
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"And now, once again, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"The Great Gonzo has dug deep into his limitless repertoire"
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"and has come up with an act"
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"the likes of which has never been seen before."
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"So let's give a big hand to The Great Gonzo."
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"OK, thank you."
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"Tonight,"
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"I present a unique version of "Pop Goes the Weasel,""
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"with a surprise ending."
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"(pop)"
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"(audience boos)"
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"Hey, it wasn't my fault!"
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"Aw, you yokels, I quit!"
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"Oh, gee, Ms. Horne, it's really depressing."
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"Sometimes it takes a long time"
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"for an artist to be appreciated."
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"But as long as one person appreciates you,"
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"you just gotta keep on trying."
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"And as for me, I think you're fantastic."
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"♪ In this world of ordinary people"
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"♪ Extraordinary people"
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"♪ I'm glad there is you"
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"♪ In this world of overrated pleasures"
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"♪ And underrated treasures"
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"♪ I'm glad there is you"
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"♪ I'll live to love"
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"♪ I love to live with you beside me"
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"♪ I'll muddle through with you to guide me"
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"♪ In this world"
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"♪ Where many, many play at love"
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"♪ And hardly any stay in love"
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"♪ I'm glad there is you"
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"♪ More than ever"
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"♪ I'm glad there is you ♪"
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"Thank you, Lena."
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"You're great, Gonzo."
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"Aw..."
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"Boy, oh, boy. It sure is great being in the show business, chief."
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"Yeah, Scooter, but I tell you, this isn't an easy job."
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"Sometimes in this business, you have to be ruthless, merciless and cruel."
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"In what way, chief?"
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"I just cut Piggy's song from the show. Why?"
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"'Cause there's no way she could follow the great Lena Horne."
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"She'd look ludicrous. Yeah."
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"Yeah, but these are command decisions, Scooter."
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"It's lonely at the top."
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"He's right. Yeah."
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"I've gotta be ruthless, merciless and cruel."
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"Oh, how kind my Kermit is,"
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"not wanting me to overshadow Lena Horne."
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"Oh, no, no, no."
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"He cut your number so you wouldn't look ludicrous."
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"What?!"
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"I'm sorry."
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"You see, I've gotta be ruthless, merciless and cruel."
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"Cruel? I'll show you cruel, kid. Hii-yah!"
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"Kermit never told me about this part."
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"And now it's time for that riotous,"
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"mirthful bundle of laughs, Mr. Fozzie Bear!"
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"Thank you. Oh, boy, oh, boy,"
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"No, I mean it. I mean it. I've seen audiences come, and I've seen 'em go."
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"Well, you're seeing 'em go now, right out the door."
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"Says you. That's right."
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"Says you. That's right."
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"Says you. You better have a way out of this."
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"I do. I do. Says you."
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"Sessue Hayakawa."
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"(both) Huh?"
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"did you know "Toshiro Mifune" means "no smoking" in Japanese?"
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"Ha-ha."
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"Well, he's either brilliant,"
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"or that's the dumbest thing I ever heard."
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"Aw, you can't stop the old Fozzie tonight."
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"I'm really cooking. I'm one rare bear. Ha-ha."
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"You're a square bear that ought to be served medium rare."
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"And now my tribute to Marcel Marceau."
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"An impression of a man balancing himself on one leg."
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"Count them. One. Here we go."
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"Thank you. No arms. Now... Now..."
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"Now a man balancing himself on no legs."
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"Aah!"
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"Thank you. I love you. Yes, I love you. Mwah."
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"Oh, I could stay on forever."
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"You stay on any longer, you'll be running into the prayer of the day."
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"Senior citizens, one. Bear, zero."
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"Hilda, would you help me find my key to the dressing room?"
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"Oh, I am so sorry, Ms. Horne. My head is such a pickle."
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"I left the iron on in the costume room."
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"I'll be back in a jiffy."
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"(grunts) Animal."
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"Animal, I was wondering. Would you help me find my key?"
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"Ah. All right."
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"(yells)"
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"B-flat."
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"Ahem. Aren't... aren't you going to be standing by, too?"
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"No. Why?"
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"Because you're the monster."
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"What you said at the beginning of the show,"
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"about... about Lena and me,"
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"I just got it, El Greeno. Well..."
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"Yeah. You meant that I couldn't follow her."
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"(angry sigh) Well, Piggy, sometimes the truth hurts."
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"Hurt? I'll show you hurt."
The Muppet Show (1976)
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