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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Helen Reddy (S03E03)

"♪ The sweet life everywhere ♪"
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"♪ I watch the cookie bushes shining ♪"
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"♪ In the sun ♪"
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"♪ The smell of sweet vanilla living ♪"
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"♪ Blows in every breath of air ♪"
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"♪ Doesn't anybody want me? ♪"
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"♪ When you're wrinkled and cold ♪"
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"♪ And your fortune has all been told ♪"
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"♪ And you're nobody's ♪"
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"♪ I love you ♪"
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"♪ How can you be happy? ♪"
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"♪ How can you be singing? ♪"
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"♪ How can you be anything ♪"
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"♪ But low down saggy and blue? ♪"
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"♪ Sad but true How can you be happy? ♪"
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"♪ How can you be singing? ♪"
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"♪ But low down saggy and rag bag baggy ♪"
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"♪ And blue? ♪"
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"You know, if I had a voice like Helen Reddy,"
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"I'd never be on The Muppet Show."
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"Right. If you had a voice like Helen Reddy,"
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"you'd be in a side show!"
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"Ah, hey, very good, Beauregard, it really looks great."
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"You've swept it spotless and polished it, too."
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"Well, I couldn't find any elbow grease."
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"- I expect not. - So I used axle grease."
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"Brother!"
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"Beauregard, what kind of an idiot are you?"
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"Well, I didn't know there was a choice."
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"- Floyd, watch out! - Huh? Whoa!"
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"[stammers]"
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"[shouts]"
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"Well, I'm wearing these special shoes."
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"- You want to borrow them? - I can't get anyplace without them."
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"- Good. - OK."
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"I got to get my flippers into these slippers."
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"These are non-slippers."
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"Yeah. OK, what is the secret of these miracle shoes?"
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"Oh, there's no secret. I just nailed them to the floor."
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"Whoa."
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"Whoa."
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"- [knocking] - [Animal and Swedish Chef] Helen!"
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"- Come in. Come in. - [both shouting] Helen!"
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"[Animal] Thank you!"
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"[chattering]"
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"[both] ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪"
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"♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪"
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"- ♪ Happy Birthday dear Helen... ♪ - Wait. Wait."
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"There's been some mistake. Today is not my birthday."
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"♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪"
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"And so my great Uncle Beauregard said to me, he said,"
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""Beauregard, you go into show business and you'll clean up.""
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"You know something? He was right."
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"You're named Beauregard after him?"
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"About 40 years after."
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"- [Kermit] Beauregard! - Oh! I'm working! I'm working."
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"That's what I was afraid of. Stop polishing."
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"- I've only done a little bit. - Get off! Off, off, off, off!"
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"[stammers] Now, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"we are going to have a brilliant dance number by Fozzie Bear and friends."
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"But, uh, excuse me one second. Fozzie?"
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"Yeah, yeah. What?"
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"Be careful, there is a slippery place on the stage out here."
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"- Where is that? - I don't know. Right around here some..."
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"[stammers] Curtain!"
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"Whoa!"
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"[music plays]"
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"A-ha."
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"- Whoa! - [crashing]"
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"Uh, be careful, there's a wet spot right here on the stage."
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"[chuckles]"
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"Careful. It's right there, it's right there."
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"Terrific, guys. You look great. Whoa!"
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"Uh, guys, be careful, there's a place right here."
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"Watch out, there's a wet place! Watch out, right there!"
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"What the...?"
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"Go to the front, I'll go back here."
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"[shouting and crashing]"
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"[reporter] Here is a Muppet News Flash."
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"Dateline Silver Spring, Maryland."
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"At this very moment, Mr. and Mrs. George Laser of Silver Spring,"
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"are attempting to break the world's record for over-hand refrigerator throwing."
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"And..."
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"[classical music]"
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"[hums along]"
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"[statue snoring]"
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"[plays loudly]"
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"- [plays softly] - [hums along]"
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"- Don't hum. - Yes, sir."
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"[snoring]"
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"[applause]"
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"You know, Helen, you did a song about, um, oh, I don't know,"
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"a few years ago, it's one of my very favorite songs of all time."
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"Really? Which one was it?"
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"Well, it was called You and Me Against the World."
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"Oh, sure. That was a song I did with my daughter."
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"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah."
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"- You did it with your daughter? - Mm-hmm."
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"Well, uh, do you suppose that, um, you could do it with a frog?"
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"- You mean just you and me? - Mm-hmm."
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"I think so."
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"[♪ You and Me Against the World ]"
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"♪ You and me against the world ♪"
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"♪ Sometimes it feels like ♪"
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"♪ You and me against the world ♪"
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"♪ When all the others ♪"
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"♪ Turn their backs and walk away ♪"
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"♪ You can count on me to stay ♪"
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"♪ Remember when the circus came to town ♪"
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"♪ And you were frightened by the clown ♪"
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"♪ Wasn't it nice to be around ♪"
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"♪ Someone that you knew ♪"
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"♪ Someone who was big and strong ♪"
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"♪ And looking out for you ♪"
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"♪ And me against the world ♪"
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"♪ Sometimes it feels like ♪"
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"♪ You and me against the world ♪"
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"♪ And for all the times we've cried ♪"
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"♪ I always felt that God was on our side ♪"
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"♪ And when one of us is gone ♪"
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