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Clips from The Brady Bunch - Amateur Nite (S04E04)

"And who else around here has money?"
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"Except... Maybe Alice?"
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"Sure, Alice."
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"She's always talking about saving up for a rainy day."
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"And we're right in the middle of the hurricane season."
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"Come on."
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"What a time for your picture tube to blow."
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"Now, what she doesn't know"
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"is that Albert is falling in love with his woman doctor,"
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"who has to support an invalid mother"
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"who just got evicted from her apartment..."
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"And poor Tommy."
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"He's got to have his tonsils out..."
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"And Simon, that's Tommy's"
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"mother's brother-in-law,"
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"won't lend him the money for the operation."
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"That cheapskate. What's a measly hundred dollars?"
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"Oh, Kay, that reminds me."
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"I had to buy an anniversary present for the Bradys"
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"and my insurance premium came due."
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"Yeah, well, payday isn't for two weeks."
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"I was wondering,"
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"could you lend me a few dollars till then?"
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"Shoot. We need to raise money,"
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"but I guess we can forget about Alice."
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"Yeah, let's get out of here"
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"Couldn't that wait till next week?"
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"I see."
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"No, no. If it has to be that way, I understand."
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"Yeah."
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"Thanks, Mr. Phillips."
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"Bye-bye."
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"Honey, about that honeymoon cottage..."
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"You remember the leaky roof and the lumpy mattress"
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"and the mosquitoes yelling "Banzai" all night long?"
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"We can't leave on Thursday."
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"That's right. I have to appear"
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"before the planning commission"
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"on that design for the courthouse."
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"Honey, I've got a great idea."
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"What?"
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"For the first time in our marriage,"
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"why don't we have an anniversary dinner in town"
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"like we always do."
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"Okay. Listen, I'm hungry."
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"Yeah. Come on. Dinner's just about ready."
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"Dad... can I talk to you"
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"about something real important?"
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"Why, sure. Step into my office here."
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"I hope you don't mind"
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"if my secretary stays around."
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"She's very reliable."
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"It's okay. She can listen. Thank you."
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"Okay, what can I do for you?"
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"Well, what do you do when a person needs"
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"an awful lot of money real fast?"
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"Well, that depends what you mean by a lot..."
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"A million dollars, thousand... 25 cents."
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"Kind of in between."
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"Well, we could give you an advance on your allowance."
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"Uh, no. We-we didn't say it was for us."
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"I mean, we know these people"
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"um, who need an awful lot of money."
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"Fast."
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"Well, people who need money"
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"usually make a loan from the bank."
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"Just like that? You get a loan?"
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"Well, sure. That's why they have loan departments."
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"Of course, when you borrow money"
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"you have to pay it back, you know."
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"In fact, you have to pay back more than you borrowed"
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"because the bank adds on interest."
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"Can't you borrow extra so you can pay the interest?"
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"I'm with her."
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"Thanks, Dad. You've been a lot of help."
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"Yeah. Oh, well, anytime."
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"I wonder what they're up to."
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"Well, the anniversary's coming up."
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"Maybe they're thinking of a gift?"
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"Yeah, but such high finance?"
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"Maybe they're planning on paying off the mortgage."
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"for calling us in particular, Mrs. Whitfield."
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"Mm-hmm. Oh, we checked everything."
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"Yes, your credit, assets, collateral..."
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"and regarding your application,"
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"we can loan you $100,000 at eight percent."
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"Did you hear that?"
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"$100,000... this must be a rich bank."
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"And friendly, too."
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"Good-bye, now."
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"I'm Mr. Goodbody, children."
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"What can I do for you?"
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"We want to borrow some money"
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"from your rich, friendly bank."
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"Oh? Just until Saturday."
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"And then you'll, uh, pay it back?"
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"No. First we have to pay"
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"the man at the department store."
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"You see, Cindy and I and all our brothers and sisters"
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"bought a silver platter"
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"And on account of Jan being stupid,"
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"we owe the department store $56.23."
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"Including tax."
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"Uh, I see."
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"That's why we want to borrow some money."
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"Well, when you take out a loan at a bank,"
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"somebody has to sign for it."
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"She got an "A" in penmanship."
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"Oh, she did?"
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"Then we also have what we call a cosigner."
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"Uh, that's another person"
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"who'll be responsible for the loan"
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"in case the signer can't repay it."
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"That's okay. I'll be the cosigner."
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"He's very responsible."
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"And then we'll need some collateral."
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"Well, that's something of real value, you know,"
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"like, uh, jewelry, uh, real estate, stocks and bonds."
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"If we had all that stuff, we wouldn't need the loan."
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"Yes. Well, I'd certainly like to help you children,"
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