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Clips from NewsRadio - Retirement (S05E05)

"I don't know about you, but I think a proper sendoff"
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"calls for a little bit more than that."
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"Okay, this is it, people!"
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"BETH: Cue announcer."
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"MAX [OVER SPEAKERS]: And now, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"Who are all these people?"
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"but I told them they had to come here first."
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"Yeah, hang on. Yeah, you're on in five, four, three..."
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"[MOUTHING]"
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"I'm very embarrassed."
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"Hello and welcome"
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"Now, I know that everybody has prepared"
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"I'm not going first."
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"Lisa-- Lisa, I really, really didn't want"
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"my going-away party to be such a big deal."
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"I know, sir. I'm really sorry."
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"and we really, really love you."
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"[GROANS] Joe!"
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"Uh, normally, I'm not one for toasts,"
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"but, uh, in Mr. James' case, I'm gonna make an exception."
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"Jimmy, salud. Bottom's up."
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"That's your speech? That was a good toast."
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"Could we just get it over with?"
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"[SIGHS] I want to tell you a story"
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"about the best day that Mr. James and I"
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"ever spent together in New York City,"
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"in one day"
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"Mr. James and I were mugged in Central Park..."
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"by a drunken cab driver,"
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"and I got evicted from my apartment"
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"because my rent was one day late."
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"[WAILS] One day."
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""Beth, it's this city."
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"We've got to get out of this hellhole before it killed us.""
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"Okay. My turn. My turn."
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"JIMMY [SOBBING] It's all right. It's okay."
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"Uh, anyway, I'm sorry about my voice. I kind of lost it."
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"Uh, Mr. James, I wrote a little song for you,"
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"and I want you to know it comes from my heart."
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"Yeah. [CLEARS THROAT]"
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"A one, two, a three, a four."
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"[ACCORDION PLAYS] ♪ Some say the world is made ♪"
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"♪ For fun and frolic And Jimmy James ♪"
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"♪ And Jimmy James ♪"
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"♪ So raise a glass And drink a gin and tonic ♪"
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"♪ To Jimmy James ♪"
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"♪ The Jimmy James ♪"
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"You know, this is turning out to be a very special evening."
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"You're half-loaded. And you're not?"
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"♪ He's Jimmy James ♪"
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"Yeah! [APPLAUSE]"
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"You changed the words so that now my name's in the song."
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"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure,"
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"[ACCORDION PLAYS]"
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"Lisa, just... Thanks."
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"You know, it-- It's not what I wanted,"
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"but I don't know. It's been a hell of a sendoff."
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"So very different."
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"Yeah, can I ask you a question? Sure."
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"Is--? Isn't Dave gonna speak?"
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"Because, I mean, it's cool if he isn't."
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"No, of course, Dave's gonna speak. Good."
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"You got to get up there."
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"Hey, Dave."
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"Oh, yay!"
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"[MUMBLES]"
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"Ah, there."
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"Well, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"uh, to the great game and to its grand master,"
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"[GRUNTS] ...Jimmy James."
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"In fact, I very, very, very seldom understand them."
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"But, uh, you know, everything usually works out for the best,"
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"Whatever you're up to, sir, I just wish you'd, you know,"
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"get on with it because, uh, this, uh, phony tribute"
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"to your fake retirement has eaten up three hours of my life"
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"that I will never get back."
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"I'm gonna miss you most of all, you grumpy little bastard."
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"Oh, well--"
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"All right. Uh, hey, kids-- Kids."
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"Anybody-- Anybody got a watch?"
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"Ten--? Well, damn, not to mention hell."
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"How about that?"
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"[CLEARS THROAT] All right."
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"It's been a hell of a night, and I thank you all."
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"I'm sorry, sir. No, don't mention."
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"Now, what did we learn from this?"
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"That's right. Absolutely nothing."
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"and I will cherish this memory forever."
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"Everybody get their glass up."
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"And salud."
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"Bye, guys."
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"Dave, he's-- He-- He's not really--?"
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"No, Matthew. Of course not. He's just bluffing."
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"and hang out with cows?"
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"[♪]"
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"No. We need you here. No, no, no, no."
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"I know. I'm really concerned about this and Dave..."
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"Max, we're all counting on you."
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"What do you think?"
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"Be prepared for stuff like that. Whatever."
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"No. I like my plan better. One, two, three, four, five."
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"just to tell Mr. James how much he means to us."
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"Beth, I-- I thought we were just"
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"gonna push a few tables together."
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"[ALL CLAP]"
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"and just listen to-- To what we have to say"
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"♪ Everyone should know by now I sing of Jimmy James ♪"
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"But I would say more like five."
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"Let's do this. It'll be fun."
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"is a little more personal."
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"Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the best."
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"Oh, they're, uh, from The David Letterman Show,"
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"Joe? What?"
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"You know, you probably just need a little practice."
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"See? Shut up."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Dave, you're awfully nonchalant"
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"that you were looking for reporters."
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"You go into the men's room. Second stall."
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"[♪]"
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