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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Terminator Decoupling (S02E02)

"You're making that up."
The Big Bang Theory
"You got me."
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"- What am I looking at? - You tell me."
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"Non-alcoholic beer."
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"Okay, I got a box, but there's no key in here. Just letters."
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"That's the wrong box. Put it back."
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"Oh, Sheldon, are these letters from your grandmother?"
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"Don't read those letters."
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"Hey, Penny. It's Leonard."
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"Hey, Leonard. How's the train ride?"
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"...but there are little bubbles forming in the corner of Sheldon's mouth."
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"Okay. Yeah, I kind of crossed a line. Put him back on."
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"Thank you."
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"- I'm back. - What up, Moon Pie?"
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"No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw."
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"And then I picked you up by your ankles..."
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"I mean, I tried to stick them back on, but before I could..."
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"...you turned into a giant loaf of pumpernickel bread."
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"What do you think that means?"
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"I really don't know."
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"My favorite sandwich? Salami on pumpernickel."
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"No. I didn't."
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"Okay, I found the box. Now what?"
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"Okay, first locate the panel with the diamond pattern..."
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"Then, on the opposite end of the box..."
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"...slide the entire panel down 2 millimeters."
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"You'll hear a slight click."
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"Hang on. Sheldon, do you have any emotional attachment to this box?"
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"Not yet."
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"Okay, here's another one."
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"If you married the famous rock guitarist Johnny Winter..."
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"...you'd be Summer Winter."
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"- Uh-huh. - Yep."
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"Okay, I'm gonna just go for broke here and say I like you."
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"So here's my question:"
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"But before I go..."
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"...would you mind if I just take one picture of us together for my Facebook page?"
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"Sure."
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"Can I take one where it looks like we're making out?"
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"Okay, now you're going to insert the flash drive into the USB port."
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"She calls me Moon Pie because I'm nummy-nummy..."
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"Okay, I'll be honest with you."
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"I've spent the last two hours imagining various scenarios in my head..."
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"...trying to come up with some line to say to you..."
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"...but then I finally realized you're a human being, I'm a human being."
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"Next stop, Santa Barbara."
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"I'm sorry. This is me."
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""Hi, my name's Leonard.""
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"So I'm thinking you won the Nobel Prize, what, three years ago..."
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"...Cooper-Smoot, alphabetical..."
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"Fine. Smoot-Cooper."
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"When I go, I usually just get hammered and ride the cable cars."
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"Oh, my God. The George Smoot?"
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"No."
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"I'm hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards..."
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"...who have played Terminators in films and television..."
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"I thought you were involved in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle."
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"That's it."
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"Sheldon, is there a place on this train to get alcohol?"
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"Sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack of the steel wheels on the polished rails."
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"Why don't we call her, have her get your flash drive and e-mail you the paper?"
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"We're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater."
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"I'm in a crisis situation..."
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"Enter my bedroom."
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"Come on. When you were on TV in Firefly, you were actually in space."
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"Put down the letters!"
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"...and twirled you round and round until your legs tore off."
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"Is that so?"
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"Did you know the word pumpernickel comes from the German words pumper and knickel."
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"Fair enough. I'll leave you in peace."
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"With all due respect, Dr. Cooper, are you on crack?"
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"We can't do this. It's not right."
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"...it will enable my laptop to read and identify the items with this wand."
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"No, you didn't. I did."
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"She's probably heard every possible line, Howard."
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"Howard, be a dear and get me another one of these."
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"It's just for my notebooks. Thanks, Penny."
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"What would Summer Glau be doing riding the train?"
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"Okay, step one: Locate your emergency key to our apartment."
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"I'll give you a little clue."
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"...and she could just eat me up."
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"This is a can't-miss symposium."
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"The keynote address is delivered by George Smoot."
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"Give me the phone."
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"This little orange sticker is all that stands between us and anarchy."
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"Unlike you, I can actually talk to women when I'm sober."
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"...that my sexual endowment is disproportionate to my physical stature."
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"- Right. Of course. - Oh, this is an unmitigated disaster."
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"I'm not in San Francisco. I'm on a tra-- Were you even listening to me?"
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"Non-alcoholic beer."
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"Okay, I've found the perfect solution."
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"No."
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"He offers to stand by his equipment."
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"Sheldon, you have got two choices."
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"There. We're outlaws."
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"Plus however long it takes to conclude this fairly pointless conversation."
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"Wow."
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"He is referring, of course, to third class..."
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"Wheeee."
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"- That's Summer Glau. - Yes?"
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"...that offers wine tastings if you're going as far as Portland."
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"So you'll send him an email when we get back."
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"You forgot your flash drive"
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"And the director is brilliant."
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"Now him, he's one of those geeks."
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"Interesting."
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"Which loosely translates to fart goblin?"
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"No. It's a novelty I ordered off the Internet. Did you hear the click?"
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"...and when we win the Nobel Prize, you'll be back on top."
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"Enter our apartment. Step three...."
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