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Clips from NewsRadio - Clash of the Titans (S05E05)

"So you're gonna beat me out of this office?"
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"Well, fair enough."
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"How do you feel about nunchucks?"
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"MATTHEW: Joseph?"
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"No."
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"Get outta here. I told you, I'll take care of this myself."
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"You go ahead and kick his ass."
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"What you got in that towel there, Matthew?"
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"Just some old oranges, that's all."
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"Really? Yeah."
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"Somebody accidentally gets, say,"
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"beaten with 'em,"
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"no bruises."
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"Looks like you've got a bunch of peeled orange slices in here."
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"Yeah, I know. I-- My mom peels them for me"
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"because I have very soft nails."
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"Go. Back up, Joe."
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"I'm just-- I'm right here for you."
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"This is your last warning."
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"Leave now or get the beating of your life."
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"Yeah, and remember, if you get through Joe,"
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"Dude-- Dude, stop pressing against me like..."
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"What--? What are you doing?"
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"What--? Can you feel me, Joe?"
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"You stay right there, little missy. Keep your panties on."
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"JOHNNY: Hey, Dave."
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"Is that any way to greet your boss?"
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"You know, I'm not exactly thrilled"
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"to have you as a boss."
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"How's that make you feel? I don't know."
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"What are you--? What are you shooting for here? Disdain?"
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"Nausea? Contempt?"
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"Dave, the Johnny Johnson Express is leaving the station."
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"And I'm offering you a seat in first class."
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"All right? Boutonniere, boss?"
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"All right, Dave. Have it your way."
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"I stretched my hand out in brotherhood"
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"and you did one of those things."
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"Max?"
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"Here you go, Dave."
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"Yeah, what the hell's that supposed to be?"
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"That's your new desk."
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"You're my new cub reporter."
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"Johnny, ahem, it's not for me to say,"
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"but I think, uh, you're making a big mistake."
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"Jimmy, please don't tell me how to run your business."
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"Which again is now mine. All right."
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"If you demote Dave who's gonna be the new news director?"
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"Oh, not a problem. Here's your first scoop, kid."
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"And his name's Johnny Johnson."
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"Sorry, Dave."
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"It's all right."
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"It's not really your fault, is it?"
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"You know what?"
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"I haven't had much to laugh at lately."
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"Uh, would you mind?"
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"Uh-huh."
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"[GRUNTING]"
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"There you go. I'm sitting at a little desk."
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"Not as much as I thought."
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"Well, you know, I'm not doing this for my own amusement."
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"No, you're doing it for mine. Heh-heh!"
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"Johnny."
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"so I thought I'd just take my, uh, employee"
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"and get out of your hair."
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"Well, don't hurry on my account."
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"Yeah, well. The show's over, lardass."
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"Who are you gonna take with you?"
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"Well, actually, I thought, uh--"
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"Guys, could you come here and line up for me, please?"
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"I really appreciate-- That's great."
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"That's great. Don't they all look great?"
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"You have such-- Such fine specimens."
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"It's so hard, so hard to make a decision."
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"Do you want me to take my shirt off?"
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"Dude, you're making me really uncomfortable."
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"I pick..."
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"you."
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"Hey. I've been getting that all morning."
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"But you can't pick me."
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"You said I could pick any employee of WNYX."
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"Yeah, but I'm not an employee. You weren't this morning."
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"But, uh, didn't you just take the position of news director?"
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"[CHATTERING]"
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"What did I just say?"
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"You got me."
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"You mean you're actually giving up?"
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"Well, I had to, sweetness. The man beat me fair and square."
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"But you're evil."
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"That's no excuse for poor sportsmanship."
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"MAX: Johnny? Yeah?"
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"You suck."
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"Seven, but who's counting?"
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"You're fired. Now get out."
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"Fine. But, uh, believe me, I will be back"
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"and when I am, in all sincerity,"
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"all of you will serve me."
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"Especially you, Lisa."
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"Cutie."
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"God bless."
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"Congratulations. Thank you, men."
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"All right. Thank you. Thank you."
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"What?"
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"Thank you for saving my empire."
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"Mr. James, I think it might be time"
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"What's that, Matthew? Ice cream."
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"Yeah, you know what? I-- I actually happen to know a bar"
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"that, uh, serves ice cream. Let's go."
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"JOE: Excellent. JIMMY: Yes. All right."
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"Oh, and Mr. James? Yeah?"
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"Tell me something."
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"Uh, did you really have a plan? Or was that just dumb luck?"
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"What you think of as-- As dumb luck is actually..."
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"Let's go get that drink."
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"[♪]"
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"Champagne anyone?"
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"You want to take this one, Dave?"
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"Johnny wants Mr. James to go to jail."
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"Oh, well, he seemed cool"
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"or where he could be located today."
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