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Clips from Superstore - Demotion (S01E01)

"Sorry, no refunds."
Superstore
"What do you mean? Why not?"
Superstore
"Yeah, it seems like a pretty valid return."
Superstore
"So..."
Superstore
"Why don't we give him store credit?"
Superstore
"- Would that work for you? - Yeah, that's fine."
Superstore
"No store credit."
Superstore
"I'd like to speak to your manager."
Superstore
"No."
Superstore
"So what was the point of that?"
Superstore
"All right, ma'am. I cannot stress this enough."
Superstore
"You need to be... so still."
Superstore
"Like a... statue."
Superstore
"Dina? Do you want me to take over anything"
Superstore
"Nope. I'm fine. Learning on the job."
Superstore
"Her eyes are so pretty, though."
Superstore
"I'm almost wondering,"
Superstore
"what if you don't do any eyeliner at all?"
Superstore
"Well, we've got to do something to draw attention"
Superstore
"away from that chin."
Superstore
"I said don't move."
Superstore
"Or do you want me to strap you into this chair?"
Superstore
"Don't look at her. She can't help you right now."
Superstore
"Strength of a lion."
Superstore
"I need to know more about."
Superstore
"Oh, I'm working on my presentation"
Superstore
"the intelligence of a dolphin,"
Superstore
"I'm sold, but... what are you gonna do"
Superstore
"for the talent portion of the interview?"
Superstore
"Talent portion?"
Superstore
"I see we got some work to do."
Superstore
"Why does a pharmacist want to slum it as an assistant manager?"
Superstore
"I mean, is this a prank show? Is there a camera watching?"
Superstore
"Just..."
Superstore
"Truth is, I need a break."
Superstore
"while you had to tell him"
Superstore
"He literally died while I was holding his hand."
Superstore
"I don't think that's true."
Superstore
"Well, I guess we'll never know."
Superstore
"I got to say, Sandra, I am impressed."
Superstore
"but way to go, showing initiative."
Superstore
"Oh."
Superstore
"You're right. I'm sorry."
Superstore
"I shouldn't have come here."
Superstore
"Is this about the headphones?"
Superstore
"- What headphones? - Oh! I don't know."
Superstore
"I mean, I didn't take them."
Superstore
"They probably forgot to load them on the truck."
Superstore
"Right."
Superstore
"I mean, if that's what was stolen."
Superstore
"That should be the first question we ask,"
Superstore
"before we make... accusations."
Superstore
"- Is this your family? - Oh, yeah."
Superstore
"They're so clean."
Superstore
"Your resume says you have a lot of experience babysitting."
Superstore
"Actually, it just says, "watching kids.""
Superstore
"Here's what I'm gonna need. I'll need a 40% salary bump,"
Superstore
"Does the position come with stock options?"
Superstore
"- Um... - You know what,"
Superstore
"let me answer that."
Superstore
"The position will be coming with stock options."
Superstore
"When I was a teenager,"
Superstore
"I crashed my father's Hudson Super"
Superstore
"and blamed it on a Chinese."
Superstore
"Okay, and what about your three greatest weaknesses?"
Superstore
"go check the tapes, okay? Just check the tapes, man."
Superstore
"It's all in the tapes. Check the tapes."
Superstore
"You guys actually tape us?"
Superstore
"That's so messed up."
Superstore
"Let me make this very easy for you."
Superstore
"I'm gonna give you five seconds to make a decision,"
Superstore
"and then I walk."
Superstore
"This one's eyes are dead,"
Superstore
"but this one's eyes are alive."
Superstore
"- What do you call her? - Oh, her name is..."
Superstore
"- Do not tell him her name. - Okay."
Superstore
"Nope... offer's off the table."
Superstore
"You blew it."
Superstore
"Thanks for coming in anyway."
Superstore
"I'm gonna give you one more chance."
Superstore
"Now my demands are doubled."
Superstore
"No, Mateo, your future is not here,"
Superstore
"in Manila..."
Superstore
"It lies in America."
Superstore
"All aboard! Next stop, Ellis Island."
Superstore
"No, Mateo, I want to be the first to touch..."
Superstore
"Lady Libertyyyyyyyy..."
Superstore
"Oh, my God, you were right, Mateo... you're always right!"
Superstore
"It actually goes on for much longer."
Superstore
"You got the steak."
Superstore
"Now it's time to make it sizzle."
Superstore
"Thank you so much for shopping at Cloud 9."
Superstore
"- Hey. - Hey."
Superstore
"so I thought I'd pick up a couple odds and ends."
Superstore
"Cool, cool."
Superstore
"Box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get."
Superstore
"Multiple sizes."
Superstore
"As you go from left to right,"
Superstore
"then each one is worse than the one before it."
Superstore
"If you go from right to left,"
Superstore
"then... each one is worse than the one before it."
Superstore
"Maybe your standards are too high."
Superstore
"I mean, we're a retail department store."
Superstore
"We're not hiring the King of England here."
Superstore
"who's gonna make our daily lives miserable."
Superstore
"Amy, come have a look out the window with me."
Superstore
"You know, in times of crisis,"
Superstore
"good people do what needs to be done, and..."
Superstore
"Amy! Are you leaving or just peeing?"
Superstore
"Leaving."
Superstore
"Okay. Just wanted to know if I should wait."
Superstore
"♪ That do that, do that, I-G-G-Y ♪"
Superstore
"Okay."
Superstore
"You're so welcome."
Superstore
"I can't believe we reuse this stuff."
Superstore
"Doesn't seem sanitary."
Superstore
"Well, there's usually not so much blood on them."
Superstore
"Well, even a little bit of blood..."
Superstore
"There's never any blood!"
Superstore
"Hey, can I talk to you for a second..."
Superstore
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