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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - Meet the Parents (S05E05)

"Yes, things are certainly racing along"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"at a dangerously rapid velocity."
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"Thank you so much, we're doing great."
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"Now, I will only be throwing one surprise party,"
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"and one surprise party only."
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"So tonight there will be a surprise."
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"And there will be tears."
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"Even if they're just my own. Okay?"
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"How did it end again? Like, a crowmageddon?"
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"Crowpocalypse."
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"But you didn't hear it from me."
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"This is a really big deal, Johnny."
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"I mean, meeting my best friend's son's"
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"I am very touched that you wanted me"
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"to share this moment with you."
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"I asked you to mow the lawn three times, Roland,"
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"So you being here is more your decision than mine."
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"- Oh! Clint... Hello."
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"Oh, hi!"
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"I'm Clint. This is my wife, Marci."
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"What a special moment this is for all of us, huh?"
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"and then my face."
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"Yeah, I'm David's father, Johnny Rose."
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"Johnny, it's a pleasure to meet you."
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"- Yes, hi. - Hi."
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"Now, Patrick tells me you run the motel."
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"More like, runs it into the ground."
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"Oh, we do have a lot of fun around here, don't we?"
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"Roland, do you want to get the room key for them?"
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"Sure."
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"So this is all very exciting."
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"I assume we'll see you tonight?"
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"Oh you definitely will."
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"So Patrick has been keeping us up to date"
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"about everything he and David have been doing,"
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"and I think it's amazing how far they've come."
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"But uh, I'll have to admit,"
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"I've been somewhat of a skeptic about those two."
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"This one isn't as progressive as the rest of us."
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"It's a generational thing with him."
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"I was talking about the store, Roland."
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"You know, mixing a business relationship"
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"and a romantic relationship, well, that's..."
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"it can get kinda tricky sometimes."
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"I-I-I missed the last part"
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"of what you just said. The uh..."
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"Oh, well, you were aware they were in business"
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"together as well, right?"
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"We knew that part, yes."
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"Really? Because it kind of seems like the two of you"
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"just found out some really shocking information."
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"Did I... speak out of turn?"
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"I-I think we'll just go to the room,"
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"Oh, sure."
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"Huh. Correct me if I'm wrong here, Johnny."
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"But it kinda seems like they didn't know"
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"their son is in a relationship with David."
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"Why thank you, Alexis."
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"Perhaps it's my excellent news."
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"I found a very promising revenue stream"
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"to help finance the little deficit we've accrued"
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"- on "Cabaret". - What might that be?"
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"there's a darling little medical clinic in Elm Grove."
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"Where if any one of us, say, you, or your father,"
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"participates in a few nugatory tests,"
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"we could be bringing in over $200 a week!"
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"Or, you could make $2,000 in one afternoon."
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"I'm talking about the soap opera fan convention"
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"that's happening today."
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"I looked at your calendar,"
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"so I know that you have the day off."
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"Working from home."
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"I already purchased a booth. Your name is on the website,"
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"and I just printed out all of these headshots"
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"Obviously I will be taking commission."
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"Alexis, there's a good reason"
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"I've avoided these conventions in the past."
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"Showing up, taking your picture with a..."
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"motley crew of pale, dewy-faced salamander people."
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"I haven't hit rock bottom quite yet."
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"It's a matter of self-worth."
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"You did a commercial for adult diapers!"
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"In full-face Kabuki makeup!"
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"Okay. As your acting publicist,"
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"I'm putting my foot down."
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"We're doing this. You need the money,"
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"and this is how you're gonna get it."
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"Look at you."
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"- Hmm! - Very well."
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"But there will be a safe word in case the gaggle"
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"of asymmetrical faces gets to be too much."
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"Deal. I'll start the car."
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"Okay, so I told Patrick that there's a salmonella"
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"outbreak at the cafe,"
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"so he will not be coming here until I tell him to tonight."
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"Oh. Is it possible you could maybe..."
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"choose a lie that doesn't make the cafe"
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"look like it's in violation of health codes?"
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"I think it's a pretty good one."
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"Did you run here, Mr. Rose?"
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"No! Just a pleasant walk."
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"Okay, I'm on a site survey for the party."
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"Why, what's going on?"
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"Well, I-I just checked in "you know who's" parents."
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"What? They're not supposed to be here"
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"for another 11 minutes!"
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"Well, nothing to worry about."
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"Um, random question for you."
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"They're aware that you and Patrick are uh..."
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"romantically involved, right?"
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"Of course they are. Why wouldn't they be?"
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"Well, they're definitely aware"
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"that you're business partners,"
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"it's just that uh, if I recall,"
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"ahem... to a woman, so..."
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"It's more how they reacted when I brought up"
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"the fact that you two were..."
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"romantically in business with each other."
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"Ew!"
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"Yeah, they-they looked a little... shaken."
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