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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Bakersfield Expedition (S06E06)

"Why are they staring?"
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"Who cares, just soak it in."
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"Oh, hey."
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"It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings."
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"- Hey, Stuart. - What brings you guys here?"
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"We were looking for a recommendation about comic books."
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"Well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them."
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"Oh, okay. What do you think you might be into?"
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"I swear I will turn a hose on you."
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"What kind of comics do the guys like?"
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"Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff."
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"- All right, well, who's the best superhero? - Shh!"
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"You can't ask a question like that in here. Are you trying to start a rumble?"
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"Well, what do you recommend?"
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"Well, uh, let's see, you've got your basic clean-cut good guys:"
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"Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America."
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"If I were you, I'd go for Fables number one."
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"...and it doesn't objectify..."
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"...or stereotype women. - Oh, Thor. He's hot."
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"Yeah, he kind of is."
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"...and we're blending, and we're done."
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"I know Mr. Data isn't supposed to smile, but here it comes."
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"Come on, guys, let's do this."
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"What's our first pose gonna be?"
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"I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene."
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"I'll set the timer."
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"Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?"
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"Mr. Data's weapon is his mind."
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"I'm wielding it."
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"Phasers on the Borg!"
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"Now let's do some sexy glamour shots."
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"Oh, my God. Leonard, someone's stealing your car!"
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"What? Hey! Hey, come back here!"
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"- Stop! - Stealing is against the law!"
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"I don't believe this."
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"Oh, no, my phone is in my other pants."
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"- Mine too. - So is mine."
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"Nope. The only thing left to do now is assign blame."
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"What kind of a person steals another person's car in broad daylight?"
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"You're right."
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"Car."
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"What is wrong with people? Why don't they stop?"
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"Maybe we're better off."
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"What if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?"
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"Well, perhaps we should hold up a sign..."
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"...that assures passing motorists of our mental competence."
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"Good idea. Why don't you get started on that?"
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"Come on, let's just start walking."
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"There's gotta be a gas station or something nearby."
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"What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform you're in charge?"
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"All right."
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"Okay, I'm done."
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"- How did you guys finish so fast? - I don't know, there were a lot of pictures."
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"And one page only had the word "brakka-dooom!""
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"- Well, there was a lot of action. - Hmm."
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"And the story moved along at a brisk pace."
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"It's crazy. They spend hours arguing about things that don't even exist."
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"- What a waste of time. - I know."
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"A hammer so heavy that no one else can pick it up?"
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"I don't think it's heavy, I think it's some sort of magic so only Thor can lift it."
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"That makes even less sense, I mean..."
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"Thor is a god. The hammer is his. Only he can use it."
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"It's like Sheldon and his toothbrush."
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"If he's touching it with his god magic, then does that mean I could lift it?"
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"- Maybe we missed something. - Let's read it again."
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"- You want some tea? - Good idea. I'll help you."
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"We're just, uh, giving you a head start."
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"We could all hang out in her shadow."
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"I feel like I've got poached testicles."
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"Oh, you poor thing, you're sweating."
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"That's so much worse than having your car stolen."
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"Insurance is gonna buy you a new car. It's not gonna de-funk my junk."
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"Gentlemen, a little less bellyaching."
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"We're Starfleet officers and a member of the Borg Collective."
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"...all our lives we have dreamed of finding ourselves..."
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"And look at us."
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"...stranded in an alien and unforgiving environment."
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"Relying only on our wits, our fortitude and our moxie."
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"As long as we have those things..."
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"I hate this planet."
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"- Yes! - No!"
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"- It can't decide, it's a hammer. - You said it's a magic hammer!"
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"Yeah, but it can't make decisions."
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"If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?"
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"Hello."
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"Four glasses of water, please."
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"Anything for you guys?"
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"Can I use your phone? Our car got stolen."
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"Scotty was on the original series and we're Next Generation."
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"You can't pick something up in outer space."
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"Oh, yeah? Then how does the sun come up every day?"
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"Hard to argue with those kind of street smarts."
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"Leonard and Sheldon have boxes of comics. Why don't we go look at those?"
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"Oh, great. And then you will see, I am not wrong."
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"If we were in outer space, anyone could pick up the hammer..."
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"...because it would be floating in a weightless environment."
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"- Was there anything valuable in the car? - Our clothes, our wallets, phones."
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"...so this thief could look like anyone right now."
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"Makeup? Sure."
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"It is. It's not just comic books."
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"They've got action figures, toys, a Tron themed dance party..."
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"I think I have all I need here. You guys need me to call someone?"
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"I'm guessing your moms?"
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"Okay, I just talked to my mom."
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"She arranged for us to get a rental car."
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"Great, we can still make it to Comic-Con."
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"Are you kidding me? After all we've been through? I just want to go home."
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"Don't be like that. Come on, Howard, talk to him."
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"I'm with Leonard. I'm done."
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"Actually, it's three against one."
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"What? Well, what about the mission? You said we're a real-life landing party."
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"Well, we're not."
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"We're an imaginary landing party."
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"And to tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel like one."
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"I want to go home now."
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"Okay."
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"Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise?"
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"Get it? Enterprise? Heh."
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"Screw you, that's funny."
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"Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?"
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