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Clips from Family Guy - 3 Acts of God (S12E12)

"I'dlike to thank Godanda jury ofmypeers,"
Family Guy
"who are both responsible for me being able to play today."
Family Guy
"What the hell? This is such bull crap!"
Family Guy
"- Well, what are you talking about? - Isn't it obvious?"
Family Guy
"God hates the Patriots. He made 'em lose again!"
Family Guy
"Peter, uncross your legs. It's weird to yell with your legs crossed."
Family Guy
"Come on, don't you notice that whenever the Patriots lose,"
Family Guy
"Huh. Peter does kind of have a point."
Family Guy
"Guys, I'm tired of God messing with football."
Family Guy
"We got to do something about it!"
Family Guy
"Like what?"
Family Guy
"We got to find God and tell him to cut the crap."
Family Guy
"How many times is God gonna ruin our Sunday"
Family Guy
"with both church and bad football?"
Family Guy
"It's time someone told God to stay where he belongs,"
Family Guy
"in our schools."
Family Guy
"And telling people where they can stick their wieners."
Family Guy
"Now, what do you say? Let's go find God!"
Family Guy
"- All right, I'm in! - Me, too!"
Family Guy
"Whoa, whoa, Joe, Joe! What the hell?"
Family Guy
"What? I thought, "find God" was a code word."
Family Guy
"No. We meant literally go and find him."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"Well, I already texted Bonnie."
Family Guy
"What... A... Night."
Family Guy
"Uh, yes, telegram for hungover."
Family Guy
"Yes, I'll sign for that, thank you very much. Oh, boy."
Family Guy
"How was your night, Stewie?"
Family Guy
"Ugh! Get your own life, bro. Get off my sack."
Family Guy
"Well, Lois, the guys and I are off to find God."
Family Guy
"Peter, that's ridiculous."
Family Guy
"This is ridiculous?"
Family Guy
"There's 500 old grocery bags neatly folded and crammed into one of our cabinets."
Family Guy
"I'm leaving those for the kids."
Family Guy
"Peter, the idea of God,"
Family Guy
"let alone that he'd care anything about football, is absurd."
Family Guy
"Well, it's absurd to think that my hand scratching on the couch"
Family Guy
"is some kind of animal, but you do."
Family Guy
"What the fuck is that?"
Family Guy
"Okay, this is God's house, so we'll just go in there,"
Family Guy
"talk to him, and take care of this whole thing."
Family Guy
"It'll be easy as one, two..."
Family Guy
"Three."
Family Guy
"Hang on, guys. I want to enter the church like Sherman Hemsley in Amen."
Family Guy
"There was a baby's funeral going on in there."
Family Guy
"Huh. God's all over this Bible, but they never give you an exact address."
Family Guy
"You guys, look. I saw this article in the paper today."
Family Guy
""First headline read aloud often incorrect.""
Family Guy
"No, no, not that one, the one below it."
Family Guy
"Oh. "Carrie Underwood credits her success to personal relationship with God.""
Family Guy
"You think she knows where we can find him?"
Family Guy
"I'm sure she does. She's smart. She won her job in a contest."
Family Guy
"Guys, we are going to Nashville."
Family Guy
"Don't worry. That wasn't our line. Here comes our line."
Family Guy
"Wow, the Country Music Awards!"
Family Guy
"And you know it's huge 'cause it's on a Tuesday night."
Family Guy
"Hey, look, there's Taylor Swift."
Family Guy
"And there's Taylor Not-so-swift."
Family Guy
"I broke up with a birthday cake"
Family Guy
"Ugh. We went on, like, two dates."
Family Guy
"Hey, you're Carrie Underwood, right?"
Family Guy
"I sure am. You want an autograph?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, can you get me Randy Travis'?"
Family Guy
"Hey, in that song Jesus, Take The Wheel,"
Family Guy
"was that, like, the real Jesus, or was it just some Mexican guy?"
Family Guy
"No, it was the real Jesus."
Family Guy
"Wow. So, you know him?"
Family Guy
"We're actually looking for his father. Do you know where we can find God?"
Family Guy
"Well, God is everywhere."
Family Guy
"He's in our hearts, and we take him with us wherever we go."
Family Guy
"Yeah, we're looking for, like, an address."
Family Guy
"Look, you guys, I don't know who you are, but I have to go perform."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't think she knows where God is."
Family Guy
"Let's go."
Family Guy
"And you still won't give us an Emmy? Come on!"
Family Guy
"If Modern Family did that joke,"
Family Guy
"you'd be carrying 'em around on your shoulders!"
Family Guy
"Well, God wasn't in Nashville either."
Family Guy
"Maybe it's time to throw in the towel."
Family Guy
"All right, look, maybe I'm not like other football fans,"
Family Guy
"but I don't have a fulfilling career and a rich family life."
Family Guy
"Football is all I got."
Family Guy
"Peter's right. We all live and die with the Patriots."
Family Guy
"Even if it means traveling to the ends of the earth."
Family Guy
"That's the spirit, guys. We'll find him."
Family Guy
"It can't be any harder than finding that cheese."
Family Guy
"I think the cheese is that way."
Family Guy
"I'm pretty sure it's over here."
Family Guy
"Guys, guys, finding the cheese is what they want us to do."
Family Guy
"Let's just chill."
Family Guy
"I don't know where they're getting all this weed."
Family Guy
""In Greece, it was commonly held that one could speak to the gods"
Family Guy
""from the top of Mount Olympus.""
Family Guy
"We should probably go there."
Family Guy
"What do you mean "gods"? There's more than one?"
Family Guy
"Yes, Peter. Greece is polytheistic."
Family Guy
"Quick, Peter, say something"
Family Guy
"so he thinks you know what he's talking about."
Family Guy
"Words."
Family Guy
"Yeah, you get it."
Family Guy
"Apparently, the Greeks have a bunch of different gods."
Family Guy
"And I am Kronos, the god of time."
Family Guy
"than the birthplace of all of Western civilization's great religions"
Family Guy
"and one really mean one."
Family Guy
"I had a feeling this is what this place would be like."
Family Guy
"Why is there never any parking downtown?"
Family Guy
"- Who gets married on a Tuesday? - I got to get off these bad feet."
Family Guy
"Oh, look, Joe's feeding 'em pennies."
Family Guy
"I can't believe we didn't find God in Jerusalem."
Family Guy
"Well, we'll have to keep looking. Oh, here's our bus to the airport."
Family Guy
"Wow."
Family Guy
"That was super loud."
Family Guy
"God is not here."
Family Guy
"Well, that whole trip was pointless."
Family Guy
"- Maybe the sportsbook. - Is that near Caesars?"
Family Guy
"I got to get Brandy a Celine Dion t-shirt."
Family Guy
"And are we just gonna bail on the Hoover Dam?"
Family Guy
"Hey, guys."
Family Guy
"Hey, Death. What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"Actually, I'm here for your show."
Family Guy
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