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Clips from American Dad! - My Morning Straitjacket (S05E05)

"What do you mean, you're going on tour with My Morning Jacket?"
American Dad!
"I have to meet Jim James."
American Dad!
"He understands me in a way that no one else does."
American Dad!
"I feel closer to him than anyone in the world."
American Dad!
"- You ever felt anything like that? - Stan!"
American Dad!
"Stan, this is ridiculous! How are you even gonna get backstage?"
American Dad!
"With a little help from me. The name's Abbey. Abbey Road."
American Dad!
"And when it snows, I need to be plowed."
American Dad!
"[Crunching Continues]"
American Dad!
"All right, Stan. There's the V. I.P. Section. That's where the band is."
American Dad!
"Come on. Follow my lead."
American Dad!
"Hi. My hand's doing this."
American Dad!
"Can you think of any way you'd want to be a part of it?"
American Dad!
"Bouncers love shooting dice, and I've got a loaded pair."
American Dad!
"So I knew we could win our way in."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] There they are!"
American Dad!
"- [Girls Screaming] - Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
American Dad!
"Hey, thanks for coming, everybody. Unfortunately, the band is exhausted."
American Dad!
"So we're gonna go ahead and push off."
American Dad!
"[All Groaning]"
American Dad!
"- Sorry we're late. - Where do you think you're going?"
American Dad!
"Oh, my friend here is a reporter for Rolling Stone."
American Dad!
"I'm a reporter for The Rolling Stone."
American Dad!
"I'm their manager. Why didn't I hear about this?"
American Dad!
"Oh, I called- cell phone to tell y- Must have a bad connection."
American Dad!
"God, my coverage sucks! Sorry about that."
American Dad!
"Go ahead, get on."
American Dad!
"Okay, Stan. Get ready to be surprised..."
American Dad!
"by the amount of drugs and whores you see..."
American Dad!
"and then shocked by the amount of drugs and whores I can do."
American Dad!
"I can't get Dick Van Patten's eyes to light up."
American Dad!
"Keep trying, Bo."
American Dad!
"But I bet when that machine's up and running..."
American Dad!
"they're gonna be doin' big fat lines of coke on the glass..."
American Dad!
"right over Betty Buckley's knockers."
American Dad!
"Mmm! Milk."
American Dad!
"- Huh. - I don't see Jim."
American Dad!
"He's probably chillin' in the back."
American Dad!
"Patience. Your moment will come."
American Dad!
"Just don't say anything stupid to blow your cover."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah. As a rock-and-roll journalist..."
American Dad!
"there's nothin' I haven't seen."
American Dad!
"Like this one time I was free-macing drugs in a van..."
American Dad!
"with Tina Jivestrong and the black guy from the Beatles."
American Dad!
"And I was all, "I think I'm gonna like it here.""
American Dad!
"- You boner. - [Ringing]"
American Dad!
"Stan, where are you? Your boss called..."
American Dad!
"and you're fired if you don't show up for work Monday."
American Dad!
"I don't care. I just have to get backstage tomorrow night in Albany."
American Dad!
"What if you get backstage and actually meet this Jim James?"
American Dad!
"What do you possibly think is gonna happen?"
American Dad!
"I don't know. Maybe he'll sing to me of greater things..."
American Dad!
"of money, gold and diamond rings."
American Dad!
"Just don't make this last any longer than it has to."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] He's off the deep end."
American Dad!
"- No one's stopping. - Look, the next guy'll stop. I guarantee it."
American Dad!
"Roger, your disgusting fat leg is not gonna..."
American Dad!
"[Tires Screeching]"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God! l-I didn't see- [Groans]"
American Dad!
"Come on! Get in, Stan!"
American Dad!
"[Screeching]"
American Dad!
"[Audience Cheering, Shouting]"
American Dad!
"[Grunts]"
American Dad!
"- [Sets Parking Brake] - Here we are."
American Dad!
"Okay, Stan. Just let me do the talking."
American Dad!
"And remember, no matter what happens, we stick together."
American Dad!
"Hi. It's just me. I'm by myself."
American Dad!
"Okay, no one else gets backstage."
American Dad!
"- [All Groaning] - Wait! But I have to meet Jim!"
American Dad!
"[Groans]"
American Dad!
"Francine! Look, I don't know why you're here."
American Dad!
"I'm not coming home until I meet Jim."
American Dad!
"That's why I'm here, Stan. This is my world..."
American Dad!
"and I'm your rock and roll Sherpa."
American Dad!
"##[Rock]"
American Dad!
"# Will I meet the designer #"
American Dad!
"# Remnants of the empire #"
American Dad!
"# Raising up the empire #"
American Dad!
"# And what will stand in your way #"
American Dad!
"# Way ##"
American Dad!
"Well, he's in there."
American Dad!
"Thanks, Francine. Thanks, girls. And thank you, ma'am."
American Dad!
"- [Knocking] - Yeah, it's open."
American Dad!
"Can I help you?"
American Dad!
"Hello-o-o? You okay?"
American Dad!
"Mr. James, this is such an honor. I am a huge fan."
American Dad!
"Oh. Uh, well- well, thanks, man."
American Dad!
"Anything else I can do for you?"
American Dad!
"- Thank you for the music! - [Chuckles]"
American Dad!
"Okay."
American Dad!
"You understand me!"
American Dad!
"I've got all your albums. I have all your posters."
American Dad!
"I even bought an old Band-Aid of yours off eBay."
American Dad!
"Was it from your knee? It smells like it's from your knee."
American Dad!
"- It's okay. I've got him. - It's just your songs."
American Dad!
"I listen to them and I know you, and I think the same."
American Dad!
"It's like we're soul neighbors..."
American Dad!
"and we're constantly borrowing sugar from each other."
American Dad!
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
American Dad!
"[Sighs] I'm sorry, Mr. James."
American Dad!
"He's a little emotional. He thinks you're writing your music just for him."
American Dad!
"Come on, Stan."
American Dad!
"Let's let the man get ready for his show."
American Dad!
"Hold on. Stan, is it?"
American Dad!
"Look, man, I'm flattered you dig what we're doin'."
American Dad!
"But I'm- I'm not thinking about you when I write these songs."
American Dad!
"That'd be impossible. We've never even met, man."
American Dad!
"- Wife. - Damn!"
American Dad!
"She's the one who understands you, man."
American Dad!
"You should be sharing your soul with her, not me."
American Dad!
"Truth of the matter is, I sure ain't nothing special."
American Dad!
"I put my pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else."
American Dad!
"[Whistles]"
American Dad!
"Sorry I put you through all this, honey."
American Dad!
"Don't be. I used to fall for these guys all the time."
American Dad!
"But then I met you, and you became my rock star."
American Dad!
"[Audience Clapping In Rhythm]"
American Dad!
"Oh, Mr. Smith. I'm your biggest fan!"
American Dad!
"[Both Moaning]"
American Dad!
"[Audience Cheering]"
American Dad!
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