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Clips from Scrubs - My Last Day (S01E01)

"The only difference will be that some new intern"
Scrubs
"will mistake you for somebody who actually knows something."
Scrubs
"Jordan. To what do we owe the horror?"
Scrubs
"Come on, Perry."
Scrubs
"No soft spot for the one woman who slept with you sober?"
Scrubs
"For me to sign this, I would have to give you a physical."
Scrubs
"and don't be afraid of that third eye on her chest."
Scrubs
"Let's get physical?"
Scrubs
"Sure, no problem. But we're not finished yet!"
Scrubs
"I know we're not finished yet."
Scrubs
"you should run before you get roped in."
Scrubs
"Hey, JD."
Scrubs
"That's close, but not quite what you said."
Scrubs
"What you said was, ''lt's weird to think I'll never get to date again.''"
Scrubs
"You see that? ''Get to date again'', like she's missing out."
Scrubs
"You're being ridiculous. What do you think, JD?"
Scrubs
"I wish people would call me Tiger."
Scrubs
"I agree with Laverne."
Scrubs
"Damn kids and their stupid problems."
Scrubs
"Ted, the reason we're not admiring the new parking structure"
Scrubs
"Where exactly is the mother ship?"
Scrubs
"- Look, Ted. It's Dr Cox. - Hey."
Scrubs
"I just saw the new shift schedule. Give me a break, will you?"
Scrubs
"because I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and get myself a fro-yo."
Scrubs
"Ted, chop-chop."
Scrubs
"Save my spot."
Scrubs
"I'm not shocked. That's how you live your life."
Scrubs
"I was gonna say something,"
Scrubs
"Thank you so much for taking Bober from me."
Scrubs
"- But, JD, I... - I owe you."
Scrubs
"I'm a little doormat, I sit and stay"
Scrubs
"Let people use me every single day"
Scrubs
"Oh, it's a song I'm working on. I made it up."
Scrubs
"I mean, big deal. How do you make friends?"
Scrubs
"And I'm sure you have a cool T-shirt to prove it."
Scrubs
"What a good girl. Good girl."
Scrubs
"OK, why did you let Elliot turf him up here?"
Scrubs
"I don't know."
Scrubs
"No. No high-five for you."
Scrubs
"We can stand here and argue about who screwed who."
Scrubs
"Or nothing. I'm on break. Let's do it."
Scrubs
"- Rock-paper-scissors right now. - Fine. Loser gets Bober."
Scrubs
"Once, twice, three, shoot!"
Scrubs
"I'm looking for my grandfather, Frank Bober."
Scrubs
"That's OK. She... She didn't hear us."
Scrubs
"Just a closer walk with thee"
Scrubs
"I didn't appreciate your game this morning."
Scrubs
"I was dead serious about the Residency Director's position."
Scrubs
"Well, what makes you think that I'd be interested in that?"
Scrubs
"- Like nuts in brownies, captain. - I don't get your angle."
Scrubs
"What could you want in exchange for my support,"
Scrubs
"because I'm telling you, I am not dating that daughter of yours."
Scrubs
"- Forget about it. - Fine. Walk away."
Scrubs
"We're doctors. That's how doctors talk to doctors."
Scrubs
"Our only mistake was not being careful about where we were."
Scrubs
"We agree we did nothing wrong,"
Scrubs
"even though we'd all spent time with Mr Bober,"
Scrubs
"none of us had any idea what he looked like."
Scrubs
"and saw some of the insensitive and jaded doctors,"
Scrubs
"''That's not gonna be me. ''"
Scrubs
"You guys, we have to do something."
Scrubs
"We decided to attack the problem on three fronts."
Scrubs
"Ms Sullivan?"
Scrubs
"Dr Wen?"
Scrubs
"I thought if you looked at Mr Bober's chart and agreed,"
Scrubs
"you might be able to pull some strings or..."
Scrubs
"the telling me not to waste my time..."
Scrubs
"Yep. I'll be more than glad to help you there, Charlotte."
Scrubs
"Are you dying?"
Scrubs
"Ah, just say it."
Scrubs
"You know, I want to thank you for this whole year."
Scrubs
"And I just want to know if I can buy you dinner."
Scrubs
"Here I was led to believe that you were..."
Scrubs
"...doing a gift certificate kind of thing."
Scrubs
"That's just... That's crazy talk."
Scrubs
"- Come on! What'd I sign up for... - Would've been nice."
Scrubs
"First he dumps that patient on you,"
Scrubs
"and now he wants you to ask me a favour?"
Scrubs
"If you don't start saying no,"
Scrubs
"- I call Hide The Pickle. - JD and I are just colleagues."
Scrubs
"I was joking, but you actually slept with him, didn't you?"
Scrubs
"Sex is for making babies and revenge."
Scrubs
"Listen, stick, if you wanna wipe your nose"
Scrubs
"and pretend that was a sneeze, I will play along."
Scrubs
"Everybody knows you're sleeping with Dr Cox,"
Scrubs
"You still care about him whether you admit it or not."
Scrubs
"And if you lay one finger on me, I'm blowing my rape whistle."
Scrubs
"So you see, Dr Wen, it's not really a favour."
Scrubs
"Go on."
Scrubs
"- You know what I'm saying? - No."
Scrubs
"We want to get a patient approved for surgery."
Scrubs
"think hard about what you want to say, then send her."
Scrubs
"I tried to help you out instead of getting mad at you over nothing."
Scrubs
"You are the dumbest man I ever laid eyes on."
Scrubs
"Still."
Scrubs
"Didn't hurt! Didn't hurt!"
Scrubs
"So, you want me to approve surgery on a 76-year-old man"
Scrubs
"with no insurance and no life-threatening condition?"
Scrubs
"What did you think the end result of this conversation would be?"
Scrubs
"Sport, if crying worked on me,"
Scrubs
"Did he just say ''fiscal''?"
Scrubs
"as a one-time expenditure, then..."
Scrubs
"...you would be making the right financial call."
Scrubs
"See now? That's the kind of thinking I can get behind!"
Scrubs
"- Dirty all over. - You get used to it."
Scrubs
"How the hell are we supposed to get that?"
Scrubs
"This is the closest I've come"
Scrubs
"to not hating myself after sleeping with you."
Scrubs
"Oh, you're just saying that."
Scrubs
"I guess I was just thinking of a guy I kind of like."
Scrubs
"He is an arrogant, self-hating narcissist who just needs to be loved."
Scrubs
"Turns out, you're a very predictable woman there."
Scrubs
"You're gonna walk into that boardroom tonight all tall and strong,"
Scrubs
"that your little visits here are a spontaneous surprise,"
Scrubs
"but did you ever wonder why the only two candles I own"
Scrubs
"are already lit when you walk in that door?"
Scrubs
"I mean, doll, I hate to tell you this, but I don't walk around"
Scrubs
"I'm not that guy."
Scrubs
"Cheers. Here's the good news, however."
Scrubs
"Turns out it's never too late to turn the whole thing around."
Scrubs
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