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Clips from Community (2009) - Grifting 101 (S06E06)

Jeff's jealous of a grifter.

"Jeff's jealous of a grifter."

Community (2009)

Because he wishes he was still a grifter

"Because he wishes he was still a grifter"

Community (2009)

That's something even I could mock, and I live in an RV.

"That's something even I could mock, and I live in an RV."

Community (2009)

I'm judging you, and my dinner table folds down from a wall.

"I'm judging you, and my dinner table folds down from a wall."

Community (2009)

I say we all take the grifting class together, have a great time, and

"I say we all take the grifting class together, have a great time, and"

Community (2009)

rub it in Jeff's face!

"rub it in Jeff's face!"

Community (2009)

Who's in, and can you cover me?

"Who's in, and can you cover me?"

Community (2009)

I'll get it from your parents.

"I'll get it from your parents."

Community (2009)

I'll pay you back.

"I'll pay you back."

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At which point I'll pay back your parents.

"At which point I'll pay back your parents."

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Which will be never.

"Which will be never."

Community (2009)

I'll get a high five from your parents.

"I'll get a high five from your parents."

Community (2009)

All right, each student should bring a briefcase.

"All right, each student should bring a briefcase."

Community (2009)

I don't have a briefcase.

"I don't have a briefcase."

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We're gonna grift with briefcases?

"We're gonna grift with briefcases?"

Community (2009)

Mm-hm.

"Mm-hm."

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Shocker. Are they regulation?

"Shocker. Are they regulation?"

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We each need a regulation grifting briefcase.

"We each need a regulation grifting briefcase."

Community (2009)

It's a grift.

"It's a grift."

Community (2009)

What's a regulation briefcase?

"What's a regulation briefcase?"

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I don't know.

"I don't know."

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Shut up, Jeff.

"Shut up, Jeff."

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You're such a negative person.

"You're such a negative person."

Community (2009)

What do you contribute to this group besides negativity?

"What do you contribute to this group besides negativity?"

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Guys, watch this, can I borrow $150?

"Guys, watch this, can I borrow $150?"

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Now who's gonna come with me and show this guy what's up?

"Now who's gonna come with me and show this guy what's up?"

Community (2009)

I'll pay you back. I'll get it from your parents.

"I'll pay you back. I'll get it from your parents."

Community (2009)

Tell them I spit on their wealth and thank you.

"Tell them I spit on their wealth and thank you."

Community (2009)

My name is Professor Roger DeSalvo, for the time being.

"My name is Professor Roger DeSalvo, for the time being."

Community (2009)

For I use many a pseudonym, such as Jeff Goulash, Philip Switch,

"For I use many a pseudonym, such as Jeff Goulash, Philip Switch,"

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For I am a grifter and this is Grifting 101.

"For I am a grifter and this is Grifting 101."

Community (2009)

Now which one of you thinks I did that on purpose?

"Now which one of you thinks I did that on purpose?"

Community (2009)

Let me tell you something, with a flick of a wrist, I could show you a fool

"Let me tell you something, with a flick of a wrist, I could show you a fool"

Community (2009)

one minute, or longer.

"one minute, or longer."

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I see you've got your briefcases.

"I see you've got your briefcases."

Community (2009)

Excellent. Hold them aloft.

"Excellent. Hold them aloft."

Community (2009)

Pass them to each other.

"Pass them to each other."

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Now pass them back.

"Now pass them back."

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Do it at speed.

"Do it at speed."

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Quicker!

"Quicker!"

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Pass them like hell.

"Pass them like hell."

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Pass them like your sister's dying, and continue that for about 40 minutes.

"Pass them like your sister's dying, and continue that for about 40 minutes."

Community (2009)

What's your name, my love?

"What's your name, my love?"

Community (2009)

That sounds like a real name,

"That sounds like a real name,"

Community (2009)

not the name of a grifter and therefore, not a teacher.

"not the name of a grifter and therefore, not a teacher."

Community (2009)

Ahem.

"Ahem."

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What?

"What?"

Community (2009)

My name is Slick Pockets Tucker.

"My name is Slick Pockets Tucker."

Community (2009)

That's correct. I was just wondering what the next lesson will be.

"That's correct. I was just wondering what the next lesson will be."

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The next lesson will be passing two briefcases.

"The next lesson will be passing two briefcases."

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You need to master the art of passing one, and

"You need to master the art of passing one, and"

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What? You talk too much.

"What? You talk too much."

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Keep passing.

"Keep passing."

Community (2009)

It's a very funny book.

"It's a very funny book."

Community (2009)

I better watch my french fries unless, counterfeit?

"I better watch my french fries unless, counterfeit?"

Community (2009)

Where'd you learn to do that?

"Where'd you learn to do that?"

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That class is... A rip off?

"That class is... A rip off?"

Community (2009)

Hm, what's another word for that?

"Hm, what's another word for that?"

Community (2009)

All he did was throw his hat and make us pass briefcases.

"All he did was throw his hat and make us pass briefcases."

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And, he kept trying to sell us stuff.

"And, he kept trying to sell us stuff."

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Briefcase swapping talcum for grifters palm, briefcase hinge oil for

"Briefcase swapping talcum for grifters palm, briefcase hinge oil for"

Community (2009)

silence switcheroos, and something called extra believable socks.

"silence switcheroos, and something called extra believable socks."

Community (2009)

Aaaaaannnnnd... Jeff, you really need us to say it?

"Aaaaaannnnnd... Jeff, you really need us to say it?"

Community (2009)

You were... Eh, whoa, whoa, yeah I need you to say it.

"You were... Eh, whoa, whoa, yeah I need you to say it."

Community (2009)

Let me just get settled.

"Let me just get settled."

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You were right.

"You were right."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Well, you live and you learn, guys.

"Well, you live and you learn, guys."

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So now, will you please help us?

"So now, will you please help us?"

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We want revenge.

"We want revenge."

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You wanna grift a grifter?

"You wanna grift a grifter?"

Community (2009)

That's as dumb as taking his class.

"That's as dumb as taking his class."

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Just cut your losses.

"Just cut your losses."

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But, Jeff.

"But, Jeff."

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I begged you not to go down this path, and you made fun of me.

"I begged you not to go down this path, and you made fun of me."

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You pointed in my face and laughed.

"You pointed in my face and laughed."

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We're sorry we hurt your feelings.

"We're sorry we hurt your feelings."

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My feelings are fine.

"My feelings are fine."

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I'm not just gonna throw that away.

"I'm not just gonna throw that away."

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You don't want to take this guy down?

"You don't want to take this guy down?"

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He's even lazier than you.

"He's even lazier than you."

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Doesn't your species consider that a challenge?

"Doesn't your species consider that a challenge?"

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Shouldn't you be on some kind of reverse pissing contest to determine who's

"Shouldn't you be on some kind of reverse pissing contest to determine who's"

Community (2009)

laziest?

"laziest?"

Community (2009)

Wait, is that where you suck it back up in your?

"Wait, is that where you suck it back up in your?"

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You mean peeing?

"You mean peeing?"

Community (2009)

He hasn't done anything to me.

"He hasn't done anything to me."

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In fact, he sounds like a pretty good guy.

"In fact, he sounds like a pretty good guy."

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I bet we'd get along.

"I bet we'd get along."

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Good show.

"Good show."

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Good show.

"Good show."

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I haven't seen that show.

"I haven't seen that show."

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All right.

"All right."

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All the best.

"All the best."

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And, you are?

"And, you are?"

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Well, I was the guy with a full bottle of scotch and a high tolerance for

"Well, I was the guy with a full bottle of scotch and a high tolerance for"

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foreigners.

"foreigners."

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How robust.

"How robust."

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I'd imagine that you're Jeff Winger.

"I'd imagine that you're Jeff Winger."

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Turns out we're going to be office buddies.

"Turns out we're going to be office buddies."

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Hello there, sir.

"Hello there, sir."

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My name is Roger DeSalvo.

"My name is Roger DeSalvo."

Community (2009)

Or is it?

"Or is it?"

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You see, I happen to be in the... Grifting 101.

"You see, I happen to be in the... Grifting 101."

Community (2009)

Yes, I've heard about you.

"Yes, I've heard about you."

Community (2009)

That would be your desk.

"That would be your desk."

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If you need a mnemonic device,

"If you need a mnemonic device,"

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Well played, very well played.

"Well played, very well played."

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I gotta say.

"I gotta say."

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I admire your style.

"I admire your style."

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I'm not a lawyer.

"I'm not a lawyer."

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Well, I think you're talking about lying.

"Well, I think you're talking about lying."

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Grifting happens to be an art form.

"Grifting happens to be an art form."

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The art of lying.

"The art of lying."

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Okay. So, like a string is a sweater?

"Okay. So, like a string is a sweater?"

Community (2009)

Sure, grifting includes lying, but only a liar would call grifting lying.

"Sure, grifting includes lying, but only a liar would call grifting lying."

Community (2009)

And, only a delusional hobo would glorify stealing.

"And, only a delusional hobo would glorify stealing."

Community (2009)

Really? Did you say something that wasn't true there?

"Really? Did you say something that wasn't true there?"

Community (2009)

Maybe we should phone the museum.

"Maybe we should phone the museum."

Community (2009)

I was on your side.

"I was on your side."

Community (2009)

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