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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Road Trip (S02E02)

It's a drug dealer on state street.

"It's a drug dealer on state street."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh!

"Oh!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why doesn't someone answer that phone?

"Why doesn't someone answer that phone?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Get it. I'll get it.

"Get it. I'll get it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, there's no Michael here.

"No, there's no Michael here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You have the wrong number. Good-bye.

"You have the wrong number. Good-bye."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and you should be proud of it because you are

"and you should be proud of it because you are"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

the greatest Detective I've ever known.

"the greatest Detective I've ever known."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna interrogate the perp.

"I'm gonna interrogate the perp."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't want to get near her germ face.

"I don't want to get near her germ face."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Permission to lock her in a distant room?

"Permission to lock her in a distant room?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No. Just distract her.

"No. Just distract her."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Got to tell you something. It's a secret.

"Got to tell you something. It's a secret."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know, many people think that scrambled eggs

"You know, many people think that scrambled eggs"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

are the easiest food to make,

"are the easiest food to make,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They are a highly nuanced and complicated dish.

"They are a highly nuanced and complicated dish."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

right into the pan, nice and slow.

"right into the pan, nice and slow."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, now what do I do? Oh, boy.

"Okay, now what do I do? Oh, boy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, the higher the heat, the faster the eggs cook,

"Well, the higher the heat, the faster the eggs cook,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, you make an excellent point,

"No, you make an excellent point,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but we don't want to feed Kevin burned garbage.

"but we don't want to feed Kevin burned garbage."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Are you completely insane?

"Are you completely insane?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You never salt can to pan.

"You never salt can to pan."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex.

"What you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Fine.

"Fine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I only wish in return I could get back all the time

"I only wish in return I could get back all the time"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I just wasted on this futile project.

"I just wasted on this futile project."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm just gonna make Kevin plain toast for breakfast.

"I'm just gonna make Kevin plain toast for breakfast."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, that is low.

"Oh, that is low."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No.

"No."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What you smell is the burning wreckage

"What you smell is the burning wreckage"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So there's no corn on the cob?

"So there's no corn on the cob?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

is the pilsners?

"is the pilsners?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's delicious. I want more.

"It's delicious. I want more."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's not just the pilsners.

"It's not just the pilsners."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There are so many reasons I want to break up.

"There are so many reasons I want to break up."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

As a lawyer, it's my duty to tell you to shh.

"As a lawyer, it's my duty to tell you to shh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, look.

"Okay, look."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's just no spark between us.

"There's just no spark between us."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, that's too harsh.

"No, that's too harsh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is why I wanted to write it down.

"This is why I wanted to write it down."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Can I maybe just have two hours alone with my laptop,

"Can I maybe just have two hours alone with my laptop,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Great idea.

"Great idea."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know what? We should go.

"You know what? We should go."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

there's a problem in my relationship with Amy,

"there's a problem in my relationship with Amy,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

before you went undercover.

"before you went undercover."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You liked Amy? Um...

"You liked Amy? Um..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Was it?

"Was it?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

told her when you got back, and every time you would,

"told her when you got back, and every time you would,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

she would get "confused," and then our relationship

"she would get "confused," and then our relationship"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Maybe. Yes.

"Maybe. Yes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A little.

"A little."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, I was confused.

"I mean, I was confused."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna leave too.

"I'm gonna leave too."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and my home brewing kit at the doorstep,

"and my home brewing kit at the doorstep,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'll pick them up tomorrow.

"I'll pick them up tomorrow."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ Drama ♪

"♪ Drama ♪"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Please open the door.

"Please open the door."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, no, you're not Sophia.

"Oh, no, you're not Sophia."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, Jake. Over here, man.

"Hey, Jake. Over here, man."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I know what that sounded like at dinner,

"Look, I know what that sounded like at dinner,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but I promise you, I am not into Amy.

"but I promise you, I am not into Amy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's not what I heard, Jake.

"It's not what I heard, Jake."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know, it's stupid. You're totally right.

"I know, it's stupid. You're totally right."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But the point is, I like you.

"But the point is, I like you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, I didn't knock on Amy's door.

"I mean, I didn't knock on Amy's door."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Actually, you knocked on his door.

"Actually, you knocked on his door."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, I'm not.

"No, I'm not."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Who's Amy?

"Who's Amy?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah. Come on in.

"Yeah. Come on in."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

After our disagreement yesterday, I went online

"After our disagreement yesterday, I went online"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's a croque monsieur.

"It's a croque monsieur."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

on our first anniversary.

"on our first anniversary."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's one of our most treasured memories.

"It's one of our most treasured memories."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm sure it's not up to your standards,

"I'm sure it's not up to your standards,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but Kevin seemed to enjoy it.

"but Kevin seemed to enjoy it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So thank you for your guidance.

"So thank you for your guidance."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, she fell asleep five minutes after I locked her in,

"Yeah, she fell asleep five minutes after I locked her in,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, tare-bear, what if she sleeps forever?

"Oh, tare-bear, what if she sleeps forever?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, God!

"Oh, God!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I got to get out of here. Bye.

"I got to get out of here. Bye."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You better not run, because I will catch you.

"You better not run, because I will catch you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I already interrogated the perp for you.

"I already interrogated the perp for you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You what?

"You what?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now go home and get better.

"Now go home and get better."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I could've done it myself.

"I could've done it myself."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, you couldn't have.

"No, you couldn't have."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You literally have been in a coma since yesterday.

"You literally have been in a coma since yesterday."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now, I know you like to act like you don't need any help,

"Now, I know you like to act like you don't need any help,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but we all do.

"but we all do."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I ask five dudes to spot me when I'm doing my squats.

"I ask five dudes to spot me when I'm doing my squats."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, I did not.

"No, I did not."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"Rosa's gonna make this cold her bitch" care package.

""Rosa's gonna make this cold her bitch" care package."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now's the time when you say "thank you for all your help."

"Now's the time when you say "thank you for all your help.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wait, is that a smile I see?

"Wait, is that a smile I see?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sure.

"Sure."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wow, last night really broke you, huh?

"Wow, last night really broke you, huh?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Actually, I think it was probably for the best.

"Actually, I think it was probably for the best."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sometimes you got to just rip off the band-aid

"Sometimes you got to just rip off the band-aid"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm 100% it is.

"I'm 100% it is."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Good. We made up.

"Good. We made up."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're still together.

"We're still together."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Great.

"Great."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, should we make a left up here

"Hey, should we make a left up here"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I could always just cut across

"I could always just cut across"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

at Amy-used-to-like-Jake boulevard.

"at Amy-used-to-like-Jake boulevard."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah.

"Ah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, Vaughn did.

"No, Vaughn did."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I'm Twink Tucker.

"And I'm Twink Tucker."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Don't want to be late for our shift down at the docks.

"Don't want to be late for our shift down at the docks."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Good news.

"Good news."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It gets cold on them docks.

"It gets cold on them docks."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes, sir, will do.

"Yes, sir, will do."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He did brew me a rose-infused pilsner once.

"He did brew me a rose-infused pilsner once."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You can just tell him it's cupid calling.

"You can just tell him it's cupid calling."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I have something I need to ask you.

"I have something I need to ask you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I will bring my "a" game.

"I will bring my "a" game."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Holt just asked me into his office

"Captain Holt just asked me into his office"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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