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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Benadryl Brownie (S03E03)

"These people, what are they doing? I don't understand this attitude."
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"I don't understand it either."
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"Take a Benadryl. She'll be better in five minutes."
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"Can you imagine me getting out of the limo with my date?"
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"She's got the dress, "I got the dress.""
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"- You know, I know, I know. - She's ready."
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"A dress made of turnips and blood, you know?"
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"Oh, God, she's so hideous. She should look in the mirror."
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"Does she even know what she looks like?"
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"- She denies it. It's a denial thing. - Why don't you take her? lt'll be fun."
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"Oh, that's very... oh, yeah, Mr. Big Shot."
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"You gotta get a shot and stick it in her ass..."
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"- She's not a racehorse. - You gotta get a shot of Benadryl"
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"while she's sleeping, or shove it down her throat."
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"- Put it in the brownie? - That's a fucking brilliant idea."
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"- A brilliant idea? - Yeah, because..."
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"First of all, she will never know."
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"they would think it was because of the prayer."
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"What, are they gonna throw me in prison?"
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"All I have to do is get the recipe from Susie,"
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"Cheryl would bake them, put it in, we'd just give her the brownie."
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"Well we need protection. It's me and Sammy in the house alone."
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"He's a good boy. This is Oscar."
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"Oscar! Oskie-boy! Hey, Oskie-boy!"
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"- Don't get him excited, okay? - Okay."
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"Yeah. You just stop by, you don't call?"
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"No, I tried to call, but my cell phone couldn't get through."
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"- Interference. - That's a piece of crap, that one."
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"- I had that one, I got rid of it. - Really?"
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"Who's that? Isn't that somebody in the car?"
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"So, what? What do you want?"
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"Actually, this may sound a little strange,"
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"but we had a dinner party the other night"
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"and Jeff brought over some of your brownies..."
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"- Yeah, at my house. - Larry, I baked those brownies"
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"specifically for Sammy to take to school the next day,"
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"and they were gone. I had no idea what the hell happened."
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"Jeff stole... he stole his child's brownies, Larry."
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"You see what we're dealing with here?"
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"Because they're incredible brownies."
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"If they were mediocre brownies, he wouldn't have taken them."
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"- Well, that's true. - Which leads me to why I'm here."
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"I would love if you could give me the recipe."
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"- The brownie recipe? - The brownie recipe."
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"- I can't do that, darling, I can't. - No, no, no, of course you can."
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"my grandmother handed down to me, I can't."
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"Susie, Susie, Susie. Look who you're talking to here."
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"I'm talking to Larry David."
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"Yeah, the guy who never ever tells anybody anyth/ng."
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"to tell me their deepest secrets."
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"Well, that's good to know for future reference"
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"but this is a secret. What does that mean to you?"
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"Okay, okay, secret, secret, secret."
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"I'll tell you a secret, how about that? Nobody knows, not even Cheryl."
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"Well, if you'd like to tell me."
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"It's not definite. The point is, I'm telling you,"
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"I'm sharing something with you because I trust you."
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"- The way you can trust me. - I cannot give you the recipe."
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"- No, you can. - No, I can't."
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"I can't. My grandmother, okay... may she rest in peace..."
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"entrusted that brownie recipe to me,"
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"and you're asking me to break a sacred confidence."
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"It's not The Manhattan Project, you know?!"
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"It's just a little... a recipe."
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"You ask way too much. I can't. Oscar, come."
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"I just told you I'm gonna lose a ball!"
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"Okay, so..."
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"you want to put some Benadryl in some brownies?"
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"A lot of Benadryl."
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"Are you kidding?"
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"What's the downside?"
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"Aren't you guys supposed to be going to the Emmys tomorrow night?"
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"- Why? What? - Richard...?"
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"to take her to the Emmys because of the way she looks?"
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"Why should he take her? She's hideous. I don't blame him."
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"Are you guys out of your mind?!"
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"Why?"
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"It's not only that. I want her to get better."
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"It's 90%. You don't have to lie to her..."
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"Tell her the truth. You're embarrassed to be seen with her,"
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"and I don't blame him. So what? She takes a little Benadryl,"
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"Why don't you buy some brownies, put it in and leave me out of this?"
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"- We went over this. - You know anything about tampering?"
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"You can't do that because the brownie will fall apart."
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"It's gotta be in the mix when you make the brownie."
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"- Leave me out of this. - I don't know how to bake."
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"What do you mean? They have to be baked. They have to be baked."
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"Don't you think she's gonna taste Benadryl in the brownies?"
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"It's totally tasteless. There's no taste to this stuff."
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"will someone be able to taste it?"
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"They're odorless and tasteless."
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"My heart is breaking for her big head."
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"It's grotesque. It's like she should be in a carnival on Coney Island,"
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"I'm telling you."
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"This is the dumbest idea I have heard in a long time."
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"You know what? It's a good idea, 'cause if it works,"
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"she thinks the prayer did it."
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"That's what's so smart about it."
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"Now the idea is a genius idea."
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"It's not like, "How did I get better all of a sudden?""
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"- It was their religion. - Yeah, it was their religion."
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"- Prayer worked. - Yeah."
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"- Okay. - Okay."
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"All right, I just want to talk to her for a second."
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"All right. Cheryl?"
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"All right, thanks for doing this. I guess this is stupid."
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"- Do you not think this is stupid? - It's not such a big deal."
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"Let's not make a big deal about it, okay? It's not really a big deal."
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"- It's another day in paradise for me. - Don't do it, if that's how you feel."
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"No, I'll do it, I'll do it, just go."
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"Can you bake this stuff? I don't even know, can you bake?"
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"Can you? I've never seen you bake anything, I'm sorry."
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"Please?"
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"Got some brownies for Deborah. My wife baked them."
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"I'll take them to her."
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"Hey, you know what?"
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"We'd like to, bring her..."
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"I would really like to see the look on her face"
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"when I give these to her. It would mean a lot to me."
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"Sure. Absolutely."
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