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Clips from New Girl - Fluffer (S02E02)

"He's got a job? Poke a hole in that condom."
New Girl
"Thank you, Nick. I now feel ready to have meaningless sex."
New Girl
"- I do what I can. - Do you need money...?"
New Girl
"Half the soup? No, I think I got it."
New Girl
"- Loft troll eats fancy soup. - Get out of here, would you?"
New Girl
"Go have fun."
New Girl
"Excuse me."
New Girl
"Can I get an ice bucket for this bad boy? More than your normal amount."
New Girl
"This is a thermos, so:"
New Girl
"[WAITRESS SIGHS]"
New Girl
"[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]"
New Girl
"WINSTON: Ah!"
New Girl
"I see what we're doing here. We're stalking your ex-girlfriend."
New Girl
"Oh, is Cece here?"
New Girl
"- Schmidt. - Cece. What up?"
New Girl
"So where's Blobby...? Where's Blobby? Where's that dude?"
New Girl
"Oh, you mean my boyfriend? His name is Robby."
New Girl
"Excuse me, my friend is too embarrassed to come over here..."
New Girl
"...but she said she heard from someone in line that you're a Romney?"
New Girl
"- Ha! Ha, ha! - I'm..."
New Girl
"She's right over there."
New Girl
"- Oh, yeah, I'm a Romney. Hell, yeah, I am. - Oh, come on."
New Girl
"Security, remove the threat, code red."
New Girl
"- That woman is stupid enough to... WINSTON: Right this way, miss. Come on."
New Girl
"- Winston, I thought you were better than this. SCHMIDT: I'm sorry."
New Girl
"I am a huge supporter. In '08, I was the co-chair of Kappas for Romney."
New Girl
"You caught me, I'm a Romney."
New Girl
"I'm trying to be incognito, so just:"
New Girl
"Tugg Romney, yeah."
New Girl
"Tugg."
New Girl
"Whoo! What a night."
New Girl
"- What a crazy night. NICK: Yeah, me too."
New Girl
"Found a dollar on my way out of the restaurant, I used it to buy a slice of pizza."
New Girl
"- One day closer to death! - Winston?"
New Girl
"- What is wrong with you? - No, just..."
New Girl
"Nothing wrong, just brushing my hair."
New Girl
"I just wanna say that I had meaningless, wonderful sex last night with Sam..."
New Girl
"...and that sex would not have been possible without the efforts of a one Nick Miller."
New Girl
"- Ugh. But okay. - I don't wanna kiss and tell..."
New Girl
"...but I did ruin my dresser during intercourse."
New Girl
"- Why you saying that? - Not trying to hear that."
New Girl
"- Will you go to Ikea with me? - Sure, I'm not doing anything."
New Girl
"Don't let me lay my eyes on the Malm collection."
New Girl
"- I can't afford it and I'm a sucker for it. - I'll go get my golf pencils."
New Girl
"WINSTON: Mm-hm. - You got something to say, just say it."
New Girl
"Look, a man can only sit back and observe but for so long..."
New Girl
"...before he has to speak his mind. - Then speak your mind."
New Girl
"A line has been crossed. You, my friend, have become her fluff er."
New Girl
"- Like in porn? - An emotional fluff er."
New Girl
"- An emotional fluff er? - You gotta set boundaries."
New Girl
"You're gonna start fulfilling every single need of hers."
New Girl
"All the things a boyfriend would do."
New Girl
"- Winston... - For some other dude..."
New Girl
"...who's doing nothing... - I'm her friend."
New Girl
"- You're a boyfriend... - I'm not."
New Girl
"- You're a boyfriend without rewards. - Shut up."
New Girl
"- Hey, Nick, you ready? - Yeah."
New Girl
"So it's not available at the closest Ikea..."
New Girl
"...but it is available at the second closest..."
New Girl
"...which is about forty-five minutes. If we drive over the reservoir."
New Girl
"- But we can't. So it's about an hour and a half. - Cool."
New Girl
"I had so much sex last night. Ha, ha."
New Girl
"- You're gonna get caught. - Impossible."
New Girl
"I've been studying Romney trivia all day."
New Girl
"Memorizing Dad's gestures so I can mimic them."
New Girl
"Schmidt, we get it, he's the dad you never had."
New Girl
"Okay, all-knowing Indian god Ganesha, this is about sex."
New Girl
"You know they have Romney Olympics every summer?"
New Girl
"I bet that's a hoot."
New Girl
"I'm sure it's like the real Olympics, only the white people win sprints."
New Girl
"- Okay, so you're good. - Okay. Yeah."
New Girl
"Hey, Nick, you know how to put this together?"
New Girl
"- I think it looks pretty easy, actually. - I'm actually busy. I'm, uh..."
New Girl
"I'm moving money around, I'm diversifying... And I'm not your fluff er, by the way."
New Girl
"What's a fluff er?"
New Girl
"In pornography, it's the person who keeps the actor..."
New Girl
"...motivated, aroused, you know."
New Girl
"- Ew! That's a job? - That's what I am."
New Girl
"I'm your emotional fluff er."
New Girl
"I'm there whenever you need a guy."
New Girl
"You want tea, I'll make it."
New Girl
"- Lose your phone, I'll call it. - That's what friends do."
New Girl
"I'm your boyfriend without the rewards."
New Girl
"- Oh. - Yeah."
New Girl
"You're saying you want the..."
New Girl
"No, no, no."
New Girl
"Not with you, no! Bleh!"
New Girl
"- Don't say "bleh." - I don't want it."
New Girl
"I'm not disgusting, it's not unheard of."
New Girl
"- Bleh! - Come on, admit it, you've thought about it."
New Girl
"You and me? Sexually? Nope. Bleh! Never thought about it."
New Girl
"- Don't lie. - Not on purpose."
New Girl
"Sleeping Nick is a totally different guy."
New Girl
"You know you did when you walked in on me doing deep lunges."
New Girl
"Yeah, check my Google history, Jess. It's filled with girls doing deep lunges."
New Girl
"I'll admit, I've thought about it."
New Girl
"- Yeah. - When was this?"
New Girl
"Last year. Just once."
New Girl
"[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] Would you like to eat me?"
New Girl
"What do you mean? Aren't you a little small? Ha, ha!"
New Girl
"What are you, nuts? Ha, ha!"
New Girl
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] What happened?"
New Girl
"Why am I doing this?"
New Girl
"That's what does it for you?"
New Girl
"Yeah, I thought about it for five minutes..."
New Girl
"...and I realized it would never work."
New Girl
"- Yeah, I agree. That's how I see it. - I'm glad we agree."
New Girl
"- Me too! - Great!"
New Girl
"Out of curiosity, why do you think that?"
New Girl
"Because you drive me nuts, Miller!"
New Girl
"Because you're always sighing like you're the president of the United States..."
New Girl
"- I do not. - [IN SINGSONG] I hate it!"
New Girl
"You sing and dance about nothing!"
New Girl
"You're cheap!"
New Girl
"- You're so cheap. - I'm not cheap."
New Girl
"You never put money in any tip jar, ever."
New Girl
"- Never seen you do that. - What you talking about?"
New Girl
"- Last week at the coffee shop. - You put nickels in the tip jar."
New Girl
"- Nickels! - You know what ajar is?"
New Girl
"Nickels are worse than no money, it's an insult."
New Girl
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