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Clips from Rick and Morty - The Rickchurian Mortydate (S03E03)

"You're a civil servant."
Rick and Morty
"We're technically your boss."
Rick and Morty
"Oh, please, Morty."
Rick and Morty
"You pay as many taxes as you have pubes."
Rick and Morty
"You want to count them? Commander-in-Queef."
Rick and Morty
"That's it! Do it!"
Rick and Morty
"Recognize the rare element Sanchez-eum?"
Rick and Morty
"You mean you've been ordering other people to prepare for it"
Rick and Morty
"Peace summits are important!"
Rick and Morty
"Because if those pills are based on subatomic compression,"
Rick and Morty
"just walking through the mushroom clouds."
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"Whoa."
Rick and Morty
"Task Force Alpha is disbanded."
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"If you step foot on homeland soil again,"
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"I'll treat it as an invasion."
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"Oh, such lame shrinking."
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"Oh, his clothes stay the same size?"
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"Eat my shrinking ass!"
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"What the hell?!"
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"Stand down."
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"I-I can't talk now, sweetie. Oh, when can you?"
Rick and Morty
"- Good point. - What's up?"
Rick and Morty
"Remember a little while ago when you said that, if I wanted,"
Rick and Morty
"I could, like, leave Earth and wander the infinite cosmos"
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"because you could replace me with a clone?"
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"Am I the clone?"
Rick and Morty
"Sorry. What? Am I the clone?"
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"Did the real me choose to leave, and I only think I chose to stay"
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"because that's what I need to think"
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"No. Okay."
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"And one more thing. If I were a clone, would you tell me?"
Rick and Morty
"they stop recognizing themselves."
Rick and Morty
"And you are very smart because you're very much my daughter."
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"Oh, God. You're right. I'm sorry."
Rick and Morty
"All good? Totally."
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"And just to be sure, you're not pretending to be convinced you're real"
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"See you soon."
Rick and Morty
"Aaaaaah!"
Rick and Morty
"What does th... What... What... What... What does this mean?"
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"This means nothing."
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"Pull forward and park."
Rick and Morty
"Then say that, God damn it!"
Rick and Morty
"I am Presidentress of the Mega Gargantuans."
Rick and Morty
"Madam Presidentress, I'm President of America,"
Rick and Morty
"which is basically the world,"
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"I've come to... I know who you are."
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"They told me to give you this."
Rick and Morty
"and your body awkwardly enlarges at the rate of a '50s movie."
Rick and Morty
"Apparently, you have a need to swing your dick around?"
Rick and Morty
"Rick and Morty escaped."
Rick and Morty
"I mean you need to call a press conference."
Rick and Morty
"What? They signed something called"
Rick and Morty
""The Pretty Obvious If You Think About It" accord."
Rick and Morty
"I'm flattered, but it takes a whole team to achieve what we did today."
Rick and Morty
"We've got every possible location under surveillance."
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"God damn it! They're right here!"
Rick and Morty
"Everybody relax."
Rick and Morty
"Just waiting for you in the only room"
Rick and Morty
"so you can forget we exist,"
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"and we'll return the favor."
Rick and Morty
"You couldn't say that in a text?"
Rick and Morty
"Well, since we won't be seeing each other again, my..."
Rick and Morty
"Guys, we get it. It's a Code Red. Enough."
Rick and Morty
"My grandson has worked hard for you,"
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"and I feel like he's earned a selfie."
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"Get out of my office!"
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"Seriously? You're that stubborn?"
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"Does China know about that deal-breaker?"
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"Well, why would they? I'm sure it was expensive."
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"Get out. Not without a selfie."
Rick and Morty
"Arrest them. Son, you have a right to refuse his order,"
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"and I guarantee you're going to die if you touch me,"
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"Death. What kind?"
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"Instant. There was no sound."
Rick and Morty
"It's a terrifying thing to watch happen."
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"It's called a deterrent."
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"You couldn't just knock him out?"
Rick and Morty
"How is knocking out a deterrent?"
Rick and Morty
"Everyone wants to be knocked out."
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"I said I'm not leaving without a selfie."
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"And I'm saying you aren't getting one"
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"Am I getting a selfie?"
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"Does anyone have a shot?"
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"Yes, nine people. I can show you."
Rick and Morty
"Get the President out of here!"
Rick and Morty
"Because if there isn't someone in here"
Rick and Morty
"that they're not supposed to kill,"
Rick and Morty
"they're going to wreck the place trying to kill me."
Rick and Morty
"As long as you live, no matter where you are,"
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"I'll be here."
Rick and Morty
"Jesus! He's not a [[bleep]] god!"
Rick and Morty
"You don't know what I am!"
Rick and Morty
"I'm Doctor Who in this [[bleep]]"
Rick and Morty
"I could be a clone. I could be a hologram."
Rick and Morty
"that the real Rick and Morty are wearing"
Rick and Morty
"Then come to 312 Olive Street!"
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"Is that her address?"
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"You don't know because you're a bad son!"
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"Number three, The Twister."
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"Beth?"
Rick and Morty
"And he says I'm not, but that's what he'd say to a clone."
Rick and Morty
"Typical."
Rick and Morty
"Number six, The Texas Ripple."
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"You look like you to me."
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"What are you, an idiot?"
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"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Rick and Morty
"That was so rude."
Rick and Morty
"I came to you for help, and now I'm insulting your intelligence."
Rick and Morty
"And look where intelligence gets you."
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"Well, don't knock intelligence, because right now"
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"I'd love to understand how I can help you."
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"My mind, my ideas are all part of the variable."
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"The only constant is you."
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"You know me inside and out."
Rick and Morty
"Okay. Sit down."
Rick and Morty
"Senior year, I took you on a date"
Rick and Morty
"to the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra"
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"At this point in the song from "Volcano,""
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"when Tommy Lee Jones and the utility workers"
Rick and Morty
"are using cars to guide the lava into a cul-de-sac,"
Rick and Morty
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