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Clips from Friends - The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (S01E01)

"I got freaked out, and it hit me:"
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"I always knew he looked familiar, but.."
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""Why am I doing this," and "Who am I doing it for?""
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"I didn't know where to go, and I know we've drifted apart.."
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"but you're the only person I know here."
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"I guess he bought her the pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it."
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"Well, it matters to me!"
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""If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.""
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"She should not be wearing those pants."
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"Push her! Push her down the stairs!"
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"Come on, Daddy, listen!"
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"What if I don't want to be a shoe?"
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"What if I want to be a purse?"
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"Or a hat?"
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"Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica."
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"Maybe I don't need your money."
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"Wait! I said maybe!"
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"Just breathe. That's it."
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"Try to think of nice, calm things."
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"La la la something And noodles with string"
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"This is probably for the best."
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"Like there's a rule, or something?"
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"I got it."
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"Your "not a real date" is with Paul, the wine guy?"
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"- Rach, I can cancel. - Please, go, I'll be fine."
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"Ross, are you okay? Do you want me to stay?"
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"That'd be good."
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"Does he sell it, drink it?"
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"everybody. Everybody, this is Paul."
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"I'll be right back. I've just gotta go"
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"Change."
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"Hey, Paul, here's a tip."
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"Shut up, Joey!"
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"What are you up to tonight?"
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"I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon.."
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"so, nothing."
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"Right. You're not even getting your honeymoon."
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"Although, Aruba. This time of year?"
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"Talk about your.."
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"big lizards."
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"We're very excited about it."
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"Thanks. But I'm just going to hang out here."
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"- It's been a long day. - Oh, sure."
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"Is like a giant pigeon"
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"Crapping on my heart"
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"Thank you."
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"I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things.."
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"- We got a bookcase. - It's beautiful."
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"What's this?"
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"- Which goes where? - I have no idea."
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"This was Carol's favorite beer."
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"She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV."
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"- You guys. - You got screwed."
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"I should've known when she went to the dentist five times a week."
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"My brother's going through that."
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"How did you get over it?"
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"He might accidentally break something valuable of hers."
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"- Say her - Leg?"
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"You actually broke her watch?"
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"The worst I ever did was shred my old boyfriend's favorite towel."
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"I know that some lucky girl is going to become Mrs. Barry Finkel."
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"Not that I have any idea who "me" is right now, but you just"
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"You have had the love of a woman for four years."
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"Four years of closeness and sharing, after which she ripped your heart out."
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"I don't think that was my point!"
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"I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it?"
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"Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her."
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"Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there."
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"It's the best thing to happen to you!"
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"You got married. You were like, what, 8?"
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"Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon!"
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"- I don't know if I'm hungry or horny. - Then stay out of my freezer."
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"What?"
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"You wanna spell it out with noodles?"
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"So there's going to be a fifth date?"
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"Isn't there?"
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"Ever since she left me.."
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"I haven't been able to perform.."
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"sexually."
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"Being spit on is probably not what you need right now."
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"- Two years. - Wow."
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"Yeah. Yeah, I do."
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"We are gathered here to join Joanie Louise Cunningham.."
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"and Charles. Chachi, Chachi, Chachi.."
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"in the bonds of holy matrimony."
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"See!"
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"Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon?"
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"Great story. But I gotta go."
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"Andrea's the screamer. Angela has cats."
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"Right, thanks. It's Julie. I'm out of here."
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"Here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough.."
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"I think it's, "If I can invade Poland, there's nothing I can't do.""
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"If you feel like you have to make a Western omelet or something.."
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"Although, actually I'm really not that hungry."
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"Oh, good. Lenny and Squiggy are here."
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"- Good morning. - Good morning."
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"- Thank you so much. - Stop."
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"Last night was like all my birthdays, both graduations.."
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"We'll talk later."
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"That wasn't a real date."
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"What the hell do you do on a real date?"
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"Shut up and put my table back."
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"If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference."
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"So, like, you guys all have jobs?"
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"Yeah, we all have jobs. That's how we buy stuff."
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"I doubt it. Mostly regional work."
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"Unless you saw the Wee One's production of Pinocchio.."
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"It was a job!"
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"How are you doing today? Sleep okay?"
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"I know. He's just so.."
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"I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves."
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"I'm going to get up, go to work, and not think about him all day."
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"Or else I'm going to get up and go to work."
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"I'm pushing my aunt through Parrot Jungle, you're having sex."
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"Paul, the wine guy? Yeah, I know Paul."
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"Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years."
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"I assume we want an answer more sophisticated than:"
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"I hate men."
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"Don't hate. You don't want to put that out into the universe."
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"Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs.."
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