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Clips from Scrubs - My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby (S06E06)

"- That's his mom right over there. - Oh, thanks for including me."
Scrubs
"'cause you're making me hot all over."
Scrubs
"Actually, it's the only picture I have of my biological father."
Scrubs
"I'll take a look at it first thing tomorrow morning, huh?"
Scrubs
"- I mean, plenty of time... - I'm totally fine with stalling."
Scrubs
"Okay, Brown Bear, commence Operation Brown Cub."
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"- Suitcase. - Check."
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"I want the whole world to know my baby's having a baby!"
Scrubs
"We had to, honey. J.D. Promised the band that we'd feed them."
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"You put one of those inside me. What are we going to do?"
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"Please, Lord..."
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"Nothing."
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"Sorry, Jack, the machine's broken."
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"a giant portion of your adult life."
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"Hey, baby, I know things haven't exactly gone smoothly so far,"
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"but I promise you I'm about to make it up to you."
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"I spent all weekend talking to my cousin,"
Scrubs
"All we gotta do is wait for the cameraman to get here."
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"No man's gonna be filming my pooter unless he's completely asexual."
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"All right, I'm gonna go tell your sisters that this bad boy is about to pop off."
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"What the..."
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"- The "A" word. - I know."
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"Laverne, with all due respect, this is none of your business or Jesus'."
Scrubs
"I believe he would beg to differ."
Scrubs
"who would neglect their kid?"
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"This sucks."
Scrubs
"This relationship is so new, we can't tell"
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"We haven't technically had sex yet."
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"We should make a list of pros and cons."
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"- Thank you, Todd. - Hey, happy to say it."
Scrubs
"and kids are great..."
Scrubs
"- All right, so then what's the final tally? - Nice. Let's see."
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"- I guess we gotta abort. - Yup."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Every couple has its share of problems."
Scrubs
"if my vagina had ever been on television."
Scrubs
"when you were trying to make it as an "actress"?"
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"like he's your drinking buddy?"
Scrubs
"Jordan, I'm not going to change who I am, all right?"
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"And here's a picture of your mom to watch over you."
Scrubs
"and use it as a key chain. I practiced at home on some calamari."
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"Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
Scrubs
"Don't you wish it was this easy? Heads yes, tails no."
Scrubs
"You know what? We're getting nowhere."
Scrubs
"All right, Justin, what should my specialty be?"
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"- What the hell's with her? - She's mad,"
Scrubs
"So she's giving me talk-until-I-want-to- commit-suicide treatment."
Scrubs
"Maybe we need a new housekeeper."
Scrubs
"Look, Elliot, I'm really trying to be involved in the birth of my child,"
Scrubs
"That is not true. Now, out of my way,"
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"Oh, my God, I'm a monster. Turk, I am so sorry."
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"See, when Carla says, "I'm thirsty,""
Scrubs
"Should I have a baby, too?"
Scrubs
"What's up with the ice?"
Scrubs
"I have seen what childbirth can do to you down there."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, I forgot the ice chips."
Scrubs
"Ice chips!"
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"I would not do that."
Scrubs
"Carla, let me just see how far you can reach here."
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"Okay, perfect."
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"Turk would like you to call him because he's stuck in an ice machine."
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"Hey, baby, look, I... Yeah, he's right here."
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"we both say what we think we should do?"
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"- Probably. - BOTH: Maybe not."
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"- Daddy, what's an abortion? - Enjoy."
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"My mommy had an abortion! My mommy had an abortion!"
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"- Elliot, I can't do it! - Okay, okay, I want you to imagine"
Scrubs
"that your uterus is like a tube of toothpaste"
Scrubs
"We have a prolapsed umbilical cord. She needs a C-section, right now."
Scrubs
"Baby, listen. I'm not angry that you got stuck."
Scrubs
"Curly blond hair and dimples"
Scrubs
"Don't look at me like that. That was the first guy"
Scrubs
"I think about it from time to time,"
Scrubs
"and we've still got nothing."
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"Maybe that's your answer."
Scrubs
"Carla's having a C-section."
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"Jordan, you okay?"
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"- My mommy had an abortion. - She sure did, sweetie."
Scrubs
"What's going on?"
Scrubs
"If you are trying to get the same $5 million settlement"
Scrubs
"I'm so hot."
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"Guys, I have an announcement."
Scrubs
"(DRUM ROLL)"
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"It can even give your heart"
Scrubs
"Let's do this."
Scrubs
"You're a fatty fatty fatty..."
Scrubs
"What's your son doing?"
Scrubs
"Apparently, he's doing the "fatty" dance."
Scrubs
"Inappropriate?"
Scrubs
"Well, maybe, but I'm raising my son to be a straight shooter."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Dr. Cox and Jordan weren't the only ones with kid troubles."
Scrubs
"and we were trying to decide what to do."
Scrubs
"- Should we keep it or get rid of it? - I don't know."
Scrubs
"If we keep it, it'll just end up in the dumpster."
Scrubs
"- You're right. - So let's go. Do you like kids?"
Scrubs
"Of course I do. What about you? Any nieces or nephews?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, I have a nephew, although he's 45."
Scrubs
"But occasionally, I do have to change his diaper."
Scrubs
"- He was kicked by a horse. - Oh, no."
Scrubs
"Yeah. Now, how do you feel about adoption?"
Scrubs
"So, beautiful, I hope you keep some ice in this locket"
Scrubs
"- Do you want to see it? - What? Oh, sure."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of adoption."
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"- You think if it's a girl you'd doink her? - I know I will."
Scrubs
"Yup. All right. Well, look, we don't need to make this decision tonight, right?"
Scrubs
"Great, because if I hear the word "baby" one more time,"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna lose it!"
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"Dude, Carla's in labor! Meet me at the apartment!"
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"Go, go, go!"
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"- Is he coming? Is he coming? - Turk, she's barely in labor."
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"He's here, and now we can have our baby!"
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"- Stylish big daddy hat. - Check."
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"What the hell took you so long? Oh, my God. Did you stop for food?"
Scrubs
"Twenty-three... You know what? Twenty-two fries."
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"Miguel has such raw talent, but his attitude keeps getting in the way."
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"Yay, congratulations, whoopee. All right, see you."
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"We are so happy for you."
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"He's so sweet."
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"Turk, you brought my suitcase, right?"
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"Of course I have your suitcase, honey."
Scrubs
"Sometimes, when you need a miracle, you have to pray extra, extra hard."
Scrubs
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