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Clips from 30 Rock - Queen of Jordan (S05E05)

"I thought this was a meeting to discuss your spinoff"
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"where you do matchmaking for wealthy dogs."
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"I lied."
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"D'Fwan thinks that maybe you're not being true to your you."
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"I know what it's like to live a lie."
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"I used to be in the military."
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"because I went berserk around all those dudes"
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"and tried to bang everybody."
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"may have been misconstrued."
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""Going both ways" in football means playing offense and defense."
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"Oh, the merry men of Princeton are charging up the rear"
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"holding all the balls..."
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"Or clumsy."
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"So your little show has nothing with which to embarrass me."
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"That was the chair!"
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"Here, I'll show you."
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"But because of your drinking, we feel like we're losing you."
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"Is this an intervention?"
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"We all agree it's gone too far."
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"your two psychics..."
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"I mean, I knew that."
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"Jenna, everyone has written you letters that they'd like to share."
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""Ms. Maroney, your addiction"
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"Number one:"
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"Thank you.""
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"I mean..."
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"Webster, we need to talk."
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"Your check didn't clear."
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"Are you on my e-mail?"
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"- Are you e-mailing my husband? - I can explain."
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"I'm asleep right now and think that that's my computer."
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"Huh? What? Where am I?"
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"I know this looks bad..."
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""The kids need you and I want to give you all the sex things you like.""
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"- You don't have to read anymore. - "For instance..."
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"...doing it across the bed instead of up and down.""
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"- I saw that in a movie. - "Come home now."
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"Sho 'nuff. Angie.""
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"It's a first draft."
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"Were you trying to trick me with my wedding video?"
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"Listen. You're not in charge."
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"I am."
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"Mind your own business!"
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"- Come on! - There's more where this came from!"
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"eight more times this season!"
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"Jenna, will you accept the help we're offering you today?"
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"Of course!"
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"Today is the first day of the rest of the my life."
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"He has his van waiting outside."
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"He's going to take you to the airport and then fly with you"
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"to the Alternatives Treatment Center in Minnesota."
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"'Cause that's how interventions end."
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"And I can't back out now, otherwise they can't use any of this!"
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"Oh God!"
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"And two, without Tracy or Jenna,"
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"we can file a claim against the show's insurance"
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"and keep getting paid without working."
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"So, this is kind of the best day of my life."
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"After my second husband shot me the second time,"
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"I realized that love is the most important thing in the world."
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"I just hope Frank does the right thing."
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"How did you know where I worked?"
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"I have been afraid to grow up."
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"I'm throwing out my kid stuff."
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"The man you helped cheat on the Presidential Physical Fitness Test."
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"they were going to put you in the hospital."
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"You are."
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"Are you throwing toys in the fryer?"
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"You're fired, Onkman!"
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"Now give me a waiver to sign!"
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"Wow. She gets a whole window?"
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"Jack, I also suffer from irritable bowel syndrome."
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"It was the chair."
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"You know why you're so tense?"
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"Because you have a secret locked up inside you."
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"If this idiotic show insists on portraying me"
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"I am extremely secure in my athleticism, my masculinity,"
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"and my rectal integrity."
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"I know what D'Fwan said about me and it is on!"
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"At Princeton, I played Maria in an all-male production"
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"Jenna, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on a plane."
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"I explained to Charles"
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"that I was just pretending to be an alcoholic to get on camera."
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"and he said I can drink as much as I want."
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"So, cheers! To good friends!"
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"You're insane!"
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"In the lobby, she pulled a wrench out of her purse"
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"I will never go to Minnesota!"
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""My Single Is Dropping" is not just about a single dropping."
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"It's about a woman learning to fly."
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"Or anybody."
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"Except Josh at Sidney Bernstein Management,"
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"Sidney at Josh Bernstein Accounting..."
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"I'm sick of your selfishness! People's jobs are at stake!"
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"I'm selfish? You are a joke!"
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"And everybody thinks so!"
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"because I know that he is your man, but he is my man, too."
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"And 'TGS' is my family and my family is thick as thieves!"
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"Now who here wants to teach me how to fight?"
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"Attention, everyone!"
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"I miss my weird love."
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"- But he won't come back. - What?"
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"I've been trying to get Tracy to come back ever since he left,"
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"I just want to wake up in the morning"
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"and look over at my husband asleep"
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"But if you can't get him to come back, who can?"
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"Wait, you know what?"
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"This is my glove."
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"Thank you!"
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"Next week on "Queen of Jordan""
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"I challenge you to a... dance contest!"
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"Because of what you said!"
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"I never said it!"
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"That was the chair because I only pass gas"
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"Oh, God!"
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"Don't tell me I can't sing!"
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"That is why I'm launching my music career."
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"It has been my dream to be a singer ever since I was a little..."
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"we beat all the Music Choice channels."
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"If only Tracy were here, he'd be like,"
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