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Clips from Mascots

Movies 2016 89 min ★ 5.8/10 (8,738 ratings) 1,789 clips
Comedy

Credits

- Okay. [chuckles] - and you'll be back to your old self.
"- Okay. [chuckles] - and you'll be back to your old self."
Mascots
When you go out there, [stuttering] you wanna give it your all,
"When you go out there, [stuttering] you wanna give it your all,"
Mascots
- You're a Herons fan? - [laughs]
"- You're a Herons fan? - [laughs]"
Mascots
- For heaven's sakes. - All right. Do you... [laughs]
"- For heaven's sakes. - All right. Do you... [laughs]"
Mascots
[crowd cheering]
"[crowd cheering]"
Mascots
- in that it's about cooperation... - [woman] Mm-hmm.
"- in that it's about cooperation... - [woman] Mm-hmm."
Mascots
So, we had to switch it up.
"So, we had to switch it up."
Mascots
It's one of the few instances of sadism in the animal world.
"It's one of the few instances of sadism in the animal world."
Mascots
And we don't just work together on the field.
"And we don't just work together on the field."
Mascots
the second the first mascot walks through these doors.
"the second the first mascot walks through these doors."
Mascots
and then some other states, too.
"and then some other states, too."
Mascots
Wyoming, Utah...
"Wyoming, Utah..."
Mascots
And if that happens, well... it's like a whole new level.
"And if that happens, well... it's like a whole new level."
Mascots
Uh, granddad... my granddad came up with a little family phrase,
"Uh, granddad... my granddad came up with a little family phrase,"
Mascots
- It was different in olden times. - In my granddad's day, uh,
"- It was different in olden times. - In my granddad's day, uh,"
Mascots
when I corrected a teacher.
"when I corrected a teacher."
Mascots
My classmates loved that one.
"My classmates loved that one."
Mascots
a non-league team in South Croydon.
"a non-league team in South Croydon."
Mascots
I lost it in a skateboarding accident.
"I lost it in a skateboarding accident."
Mascots
But studying dance was really, uh...
"But studying dance was really, uh..."
Mascots
I love, um... I love putting on the mask,
"I love, um... I love putting on the mask,"
Mascots
and, um...
"and, um..."
Mascots
just being inside of him.
"just being inside of him."
Mascots
[sighs]
"[sighs]"
Mascots
It could be my last time, you know? This could be my last hurrah.
"It could be my last time, you know? This could be my last hurrah."
Mascots
Um...
"Um..."
Mascots
- Hey, stop humping my wife! - Get off me! Jesus!
"- Hey, stop humping my wife! - Get off me! Jesus!"
Mascots
I just cut out the middleman and went straight to the fist...
"I just cut out the middleman and went straight to the fist..."
Mascots
but, uh... you always gotta keep your wits about you, don't ya?
"but, uh... you always gotta keep your wits about you, don't ya?"
Mascots
And I'm doing a pratfall,
"And I'm doing a pratfall,"
Mascots
and turning around and acting all coy.
"and turning around and acting all coy."
Mascots
that is the greatest sound in the world.
"that is the greatest sound in the world."
Mascots
and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if we sell out this year.
"and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if we sell out this year."
Mascots
What do you think? Just guesstimate?
"What do you think? Just guesstimate?"
Mascots
which is on your basic-tier cable package
"which is on your basic-tier cable package"
Mascots
SN1 went under, as it were.
"SN1 went under, as it were."
Mascots
and the boat carrying Santa Claus turtled,
"and the boat carrying Santa Claus turtled,"
Mascots
He was gone,
"He was gone,"
Mascots
[exhales]
"[exhales]"
Mascots
- Does this smell normal? - I can't tell.
"- Does this smell normal? - I can't tell."
Mascots
because he actually got into the club dressed as the Fist,
"because he actually got into the club dressed as the Fist,"
Mascots
He came to me and he said, "I need a straight man for my act,"
"He came to me and he said, "I need a straight man for my act,""
Mascots
- Ah, got what you wanted? - I got what I wanted.
"- Ah, got what you wanted? - I got what I wanted."
Mascots
just a nipper when I first went to the ground.
"just a nipper when I first went to the ground."
Mascots
You know, like any couple, we have our ups and downs.
"You know, like any couple, we have our ups and downs."
Mascots
Laci passed me a note in class.
"Laci passed me a note in class."
Mascots
- Yeah. - So that was the weird thing
"- Yeah. - So that was the weird thing"
Mascots
Because, later on that year...
"Because, later on that year..."
Mascots
- You had your accident. - I had an accident.
"- You had your accident. - I had an accident."
Mascots
And I sprained my ankle, and I had to hobble.
"And I sprained my ankle, and I had to hobble."
Mascots
And Ruby has a little one. Ruby Jr.
"And Ruby has a little one. Ruby Jr."
Mascots
[laughing] She's a granny!
"[laughing] She's a granny!"
Mascots
that eventually required four hours of surgery
"that eventually required four hours of surgery"
Mascots
That lasted all of one game. Caused a lot of controversy.
"That lasted all of one game. Caused a lot of controversy."
Mascots
In any of your social media, "Hashtag, in your ear,"
"In any of your social media, "Hashtag, in your ear,""
Mascots
and you'll see what's going on.
"and you'll see what's going on."
Mascots
hundreds of mascots wanted to compete in this year's competition.
"hundreds of mascots wanted to compete in this year's competition."
Mascots
Well, not tonight.
"Well, not tonight."
Mascots
- [Andy] Hey, how's it going? - [man] Good evening.
"- [Andy] Hey, how's it going? - [man] Good evening."
Mascots
That vanilla wrap is such a must-have. I love it.
"That vanilla wrap is such a must-have. I love it."
Mascots
- Mike Murray. - Hi, I'm Laci.
"- Mike Murray. - Hi, I'm Laci."
Mascots
- [Mike] Yeah. Yeah. - [Laci] Good to see you. Hi.
"- [Mike] Yeah. Yeah. - [Laci] Good to see you. Hi."
Mascots
And this is, by far, the best turnout we have ever had.
"And this is, by far, the best turnout we have ever had."
Mascots
but the popcorn is really, really going on strong,
"but the popcorn is really, really going on strong,"
Mascots
That's 'cause you're probably smelling mine.
"That's 'cause you're probably smelling mine."
Mascots
Porta-potties, I've been in. Many of them.
"Porta-potties, I've been in. Many of them."
Mascots
I'm an aromatic engineer.
"I'm an aromatic engineer."
Mascots
And then we have anchovy.
"And then we have anchovy."
Mascots
I can't tell you how excited I am to be here.
"I can't tell you how excited I am to be here."
Mascots
we took our kids, Muffy, Ponce, Sugito and um...
"we took our kids, Muffy, Ponce, Sugito and um..."
Mascots
so, you know, that got me interested in Mascotting.
"so, you know, that got me interested in Mascotting."
Mascots
because so many people think mascotting's been around for 200 years.
"because so many people think mascotting's been around for 200 years."
Mascots
You ever noticed that? Life is one big left turn to these people.
"You ever noticed that? Life is one big left turn to these people."
Mascots
But I didn't live then, sadly enough.
"But I didn't live then, sadly enough."
Mascots
[mascot grunting]
"[mascot grunting]"
Mascots
I had to find some electrical tape, but we're all good.
"I had to find some electrical tape, but we're all good."
Mascots
Jack the Plumber enters, and he's kind of big and looking around,
"Jack the Plumber enters, and he's kind of big and looking around,"
Mascots
and then it's like, "Come on, let's go. Let's go."
"and then it's like, "Come on, let's go. Let's go.""
Mascots
for me to finish with the big ladder routine.
"for me to finish with the big ladder routine."
Mascots
Oh, yeah. "And carry a selfie stick.
"Oh, yeah. "And carry a selfie stick."
Mascots
He is your son.
"He is your son."
Mascots
do what you wanna do, then take it back and get your money back.
"do what you wanna do, then take it back and get your money back."
Mascots
And I hope you've got the receipt,
"And I hope you've got the receipt,"
Mascots
'cause then you can get the tax back at the airport.
"'cause then you can get the tax back at the airport."
Mascots
Benny the Banana Slug [whispering] failed his drug test.
"Benny the Banana Slug [whispering] failed his drug test."
Mascots
The Gluten Free Channel can't find out about this.
"The Gluten Free Channel can't find out about this."
Mascots
Nothing. It's just... I think a furry snuck in, and he's scritching.
"Nothing. It's just... I think a furry snuck in, and he's scritching."
Mascots
- I do that. - It's fun for them.
"- I do that. - It's fun for them."
Mascots
I was in the other room, and one of them kind of bumped into me.
"I was in the other room, and one of them kind of bumped into me."
Mascots
Might have been "yiff." And I said he was going for the wallet.
"Might have been "yiff." And I said he was going for the wallet."
Mascots
And we got a sex problem
"And we got a sex problem"
Mascots
[grunting]
"[grunting]"
Mascots
- little bit on my blouse. - [groans]
"- little bit on my blouse. - [groans]"
Mascots
Mm-hmm.
"Mm-hmm."
Mascots
- Yes. Boner! - [all laugh]
"- Yes. Boner! - [all laugh]"
Mascots
- Really? - Definitely, yes.
"- Really? - Definitely, yes."
Mascots
[Corky] Nature is the great teacher,
"[Corky] Nature is the great teacher,"
Mascots
is nature personified, okay?
"is nature personified, okay?"
Mascots
I call this the crabby walk, okay?
"I call this the crabby walk, okay?"
Mascots
more just where your eyes end up
"more just where your eyes end up"
Mascots
- [Mindy] Would you throw the ball? - Yeah, I'll throw it.
"- [Mindy] Would you throw the ball? - Yeah, I'll throw it."
Mascots
- We're just two individuals? - Throw the ball. What?
"- We're just two individuals? - Throw the ball. What?"
Mascots
- [laughing] Hi! - [shrieking]
"- [laughing] Hi! - [shrieking]"
Mascots
[stammering] Well, I was gonna say I don't know how it happened,
"[stammering] Well, I was gonna say I don't know how it happened,"
Mascots
I mean, I remember, I was like, "Oh, my God."
"I mean, I remember, I was like, "Oh, my God.""
Mascots
Yeah, my lawyer almost killed me, but I did it.
"Yeah, my lawyer almost killed me, but I did it."
Mascots
I mean, I'll make some macramé shit bag, you know?
"I mean, I'll make some macramé shit bag, you know?"
Mascots
And he'll just go, "That's a masterpiece," or something. You know what I mean?
"And he'll just go, "That's a masterpiece," or something. You know what I mean?"
Mascots
- All right. - [stammering] It's okay. I'm okay.
"- All right. - [stammering] It's okay. I'm okay."
Mascots
I can't take my eyes off of you. You're a funny little guy.
"I can't take my eyes off of you. You're a funny little guy."
Mascots
Thanks.
"Thanks."
Mascots
Yeah, I'm not a fake little person.
"Yeah, I'm not a fake little person."
Mascots
- All right. - It's got to be a person of your, uh...
"- All right. - It's got to be a person of your, uh..."
Mascots
- I would like $5, please. - I'm a little short this week.
"- I would like $5, please. - I'm a little short this week."
Mascots
Oh!
"Oh!"
Mascots
and he said, "No, those are just your eyes."
"and he said, "No, those are just your eyes.""
Mascots
- Thank you. - That's cool.
"- Thank you. - That's cool."
Mascots
[soft music playing]
"[soft music playing]"
Mascots
- Uh... - [chewing loudly]
"- Uh... - [chewing loudly]"
Mascots
I think Mascotting is... To me, it's all about giving back, you know.
"I think Mascotting is... To me, it's all about giving back, you know."
Mascots