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Clips from Dead Like Me - A Cook (S01E01)

""Der" is German for "the"."
Dead Like Me
"I want der fucking patty melt with der cheese melted on der bread"
Dead Like Me
"with der fucking kraut on it. Got it?"
Dead Like Me
"Who are you talking to back here?"
Dead Like Me
"I got a new guy coming in today, who worked at Ihop, so he's really good."
Dead Like Me
"That's great."
Dead Like Me
"So this'll be your last shift and I wanna thank you for helping out."
Dead Like Me
"I mean, the oven's always 25 degrees hotter than it reads."
Dead Like Me
"When he does his Belgian waffles, you know the trick? Vanilla."
Dead Like Me
"Boy, you didn't just eat here. You really watched Angus cook."
Dead Like Me
"Yeah. Man had a gift."
Dead Like Me
"- Millie. May I have a moment? - Sure."
Dead Like Me
"This is difficult to say. Especially now."
Dead Like Me
"I always find it hard to maintain authority after I've shared a bed with someone."
Dead Like Me
"Pure Attitude 477 described you as "lethargic and uninspiring" and, uh..."
Dead Like Me
"Truth Machine 8 said he went to bed feeling nothing had been accomplished."
Dead Like Me
"Some place slower, where you can get things done at your own pace."
Dead Like Me
"I'm sorry things didn't work out."
Dead Like Me
"Maybe this is the spark you need to light a fire under that ass you like to sit on."
Dead Like Me
"If you'll excuse me."
Dead Like Me
"There's a Hot Pocket in the microwave calling my name. Don't try to stop me."
Dead Like Me
"JD and I wandered through the park one last time"
Dead Like Me
"before I took him home."
Dead Like Me
"Wandering is what gives them oxygen."
Dead Like Me
"I was beginning to think that that's the kind of person I was."
Dead Like Me
"The kind of person for whom one job, one love,"
Dead Like Me
"to call home."
Dead Like Me
"So I took JD home."
Dead Like Me
"Stay. You stay."
Dead Like Me
"Stay."
Dead Like Me
"All right. You can come in. Come on."
Dead Like Me
"Maybe that's what happens to some souls. Maybe they get lost."
Dead Like Me
"Maybe they have to wander because they're not quite at peace yet."
Dead Like Me
"Like they're holding on to something. Holding their breath."
Dead Like Me
"And when the business is done, they can finally let go,"
Dead Like Me
"- Will you be sleeping in the bed? - Maybe."
Dead Like Me
"What do you think JD stands for?"
Dead Like Me
"Just Dog."
Dead Like Me
"I kinda like that."
Dead Like Me
"Get the dog off the bed, Reggie."
Dead Like Me
"That was my mother."
Dead Like Me
"I don't mean to pick on you so early, but may I ask you something personal?"
Dead Like Me
"wanted me to tell you that you look very - and this is a quote -"
Dead Like Me
"You are not at your best. Your food was not good today."
Dead Like Me
"Bye bye."
Dead Like Me
"And promptly choked to death."
Dead Like Me
"Don't get emotionally involved. Clean your gun, go home."
Dead Like Me
"What? No, no, no..."
Dead Like Me
"Whoa..."
Dead Like Me
"Got the sand, got the sea dust, got mud..."
Dead Like Me
"I needed to find a place to sleep."
Dead Like Me
"No, you got it. On der house."
Dead Like Me
"-"
Dead Like Me
"I decided that even though this dog would die some day,"
Dead Like Me
"You know what they say, home is where the Herbig."
Dead Like Me
"- Would you like a tour? - Sure."
Dead Like Me
"- Time! You're breaking my heart. - It's a three stack."
Dead Like Me
"You gotta criticise and teach in the same breath."
Dead Like Me
"Oh. Did you put detergent in the dishwasher?"
Dead Like Me
"character-building chores just fall by the wayside."
Dead Like Me
"The Waffle House. The patty melt."
Dead Like Me
"Me? No one."
Dead Like Me
"You be good. You be good, JD."
Dead Like Me
"Maybe there's some kind of unfinished business with these souls."
Dead Like Me
"You're welcome."
Dead Like Me
"He's in a better mood this afternoon."
Dead Like Me
"Hey. How are you doing? You order a patty melt?"
Dead Like Me
"- Who complained? - The eggs were not good."
Dead Like Me
"So maybe it didn't make any sense,"
Dead Like Me
"I'm not crazy."
Dead Like Me
"After Speedy Gonzales passed away, I was on the rebound hard."
Dead Like Me
"I printed the postings from the "Getting Things Done With Delores" website"
Dead Like Me
"- I sure wish I'd heard him sputtering. - Why? You know the Heimlich?"
Dead Like Me
"Wherever Silverberg is now, I'm sure he forgives you."
Dead Like Me
".. this was not it."
Dead Like Me
"Oh, shit!"
Dead Like Me
"Mason said he would take care of him,"
Dead Like Me
"Don't let me do it no matter how much I beg."
Dead Like Me
"Kraut on Der Patty Melt is akin to knocking the tower down."
Dead Like Me
"Come on."
Dead Like Me
"- Isn't she? - Is it a golden?"
Dead Like Me
"Um... I don't know."
Dead Like Me
"We live in a society that speeds along and with people so busy,"
Dead Like Me
"Rube said I should bunk with you."
Dead Like Me
"When someone is flying through life that's what you tell them."
Dead Like Me
"Because I have noticed an erosion over the past few days."
Dead Like Me
"How old are you? Like, 35?"
Dead Like Me
"Georgia... Sweetheart..."
Dead Like Me
"He didn't."
Dead Like Me
"There was a void. I told my mom only a new puppy could fill it."
Dead Like Me
"- What was it for? - Some beer advertisement."
Dead Like Me
"Don't be discouraged. I'm sure it was the accent."
Dead Like Me
"- What's its name? - JD."
Dead Like Me
"I don't know. Maybe his owner was a boozer."
Dead Like Me
"I'm gonna take a walk. I'll see you later, peanut."
Dead Like Me
"The sheer numbers kinda calmed me down about JD."
Dead Like Me
"My little sister was just as star-crossed as I was."
Dead Like Me
"I don't like talking about my flaws. Thanks for understanding."
Dead Like Me
"And we needed a home."
Dead Like Me
"I'm staying with this guy, but he's kinda..."
Dead Like Me
"Lovely companions."
Dead Like Me
"Not just because it was work,"
Dead Like Me
"Well, you're not the first strays to find shelter at Chez Delores."
Dead Like Me
"God knows I've taken in my fair share of drifters."
Dead Like Me
"I'm not gonna rob you, I just don't exactly know where home is these days."
Dead Like Me
"Kidding! Those ended weeks ago."
Dead Like Me
"Are you a doer in the home, Millie?"
Dead Like Me
"- Axle grease 'em. - Pardon?"
Dead Like Me
"Banana Bonanza originated on the moors of Scotland?"
Dead Like Me
"Dang. Another man down."
Dead Like Me
"Dang. Another man down."
Dead Like Me
"And that's what it's all about - getting things done."
Dead Like Me
"I couldn't decide between Ferns & Flowers and Country Rose so I got both."
Dead Like Me
"I have no clue."
Dead Like Me
"- And won't get out of the batter's box. - Won't get out of the box."
Dead Like Me
"Are we clear?"
Dead Like Me
"- A dog in a hot tub? - No clue."
Dead Like Me
"I'm not talking to you."
Dead Like Me
"Sending back a dish is a hostile act."
Dead Like Me
"- Yeah. Is there a problem? - You don't know what a patty melt is."
Dead Like Me
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