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Clips from The Office - Stress Relief (S05E05)

"Yeah."
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"about how you feel when I walk in a room"
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"and about how you've never doubted for a second"
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"that I'm the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with."
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"I guess he's never felt that with my mom, even at their best."
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"You okay?"
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"When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soul mates."
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"I guess it also means"
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"Maybe I could be a food critic."
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"Or an art critic. That painting is bad."
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"Hey, why are you wearing a turtleneck?"
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"You all right?"
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"Michael, I feel I was a little harsh yesterday."
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"Yeah. JIM: Yeah, we're really sorry."
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"I spent the afternoon in the park trying to feed the pigeons."
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"so I wouldn't forget."
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"Gumby has a better body than you."
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"Boom. Roasted."
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"Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted."
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"Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted."
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"Meredith, you've slept with so many guys"
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"Boom. Roasted."
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"and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted."
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"Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted."
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"I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted."
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"Stanley, you crush your wife during sex"
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"and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"MICHAEL: Oscar, you are..."
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"(MICHAEL LAUGHS)"
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"KEVIN: Boom. Roasted."
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"(LAUGHING HEARTILY)"
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"All right. All right, everybody. You know I kid."
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"Actually, better hold on to the pills, just in case."
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"People learn in lots of different ways,"
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"Oh. How did that happen?"
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"Everybody stay calm. Everybody stay calm!"
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"DWIGHT: Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?"
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"KEVIN: Get out of the way!"
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"Okay! That's the wrong way. Oh, my God. Oh, my God."
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"(CAT MEOWS)"
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"The fire's shooting at us!"
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"(SCREAMS)"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"(AIR HORN BLARING)"
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"What?"
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"DWIGHT: Don't have a heart attack."
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"How could you possibly think this is a good idea?"
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"I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building."
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"We are not mad, we are just disappointed."
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"DWIGHT: Thank you. No, we're not."
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"What?"
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""Oh, this is the place that I might die today.""
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"to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die."
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"And of course you can't get the practice dummy"
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"Call it."
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"STANLEY: Yes, I had a heart attack."
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"You know what? If we come across somebody"
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"Do you know that song?"
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"He has no wallet, I checked."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Hey, Stanley. Stanley."
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"David, this is why we have training."
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"I want you to meet my nana. Nana, this is Sam."
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"Who? Jack Black?"
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"I have. Let's hear it."
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"(TELEPHONE RINGS)"
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"Yeah, Jim has shaving cream."
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"So he doesn't share with his daughter,"
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"MICHAEL: It is a beautiful, sunny day"
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"(WHISPERING) Now, up ahead, a castle in the distance."
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"Please, please. Okay. All right."
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"(BEEPING SLOWS DOWN)"
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"It's a great twist. Great twist."
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"Nothing stresses me out."
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"So, what is the solution?"
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"(IN SPANISH)"
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"I want you to take me down. Don't hold back."
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"You are all jerks."
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"It needs to get crazy. Take your best shot."
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"Lower the mike for the midget."
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"here's a quiz to help."
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"A wood chipper, Kevin, a candle and Lord Voldemort."
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"Well..."
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"(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)"
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"Michael is your superior, okay? Dwight. No, no, no, no."
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"You should be bowing down in front of him."
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"(ALL APPLAUDING)"
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"(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)"
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"All the way in the back there."
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"(AUDIENCE CLAPPING ALONG)"
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"And my thing isn't tiny, it's average, so get your facts straight."
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"(CLEARS THRO AT)"
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"That reeks and I'm trying to eat."
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"What?"
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"Got it!"
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"Sam, Sam, Sam."
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"(RESTRAINED SOB)"
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"These muffins taste bad."
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"(DOOR OPENS)"
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"Michael, it's really good to see you."
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"so, Stanley, you can throw away those pills."
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"Here we go."
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"That is very spiritual and relaxing."
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"You have stress?"
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"(TELEPHONE RINGS)"
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"I guess they all flew west for the winter."
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"And nobody paid any attention."
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"(PHYLLIS SCREAMS)"
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"Solution is honesty, laughter and comedy."
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"Stanley tried to die just to get away"
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"(ANDY SOBBING)"
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"So, good night, God bless. God bless America."
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"I'm not sitting in a wheelchair."
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"Okay? Everyone come on up here. It's not a big deal."
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"but he shares with his daughter's fiance?"
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"if you do not sign in, your name will not be counted."
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