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Clips from Friends - The One with the Candy Hearts (S01E01)

"So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads."
Friends
"That's okay."
Friends
"Are you sure? Because you could make little puppets out of them."
Friends
"And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty."
Friends
"We can't do that."
Friends
"What? What can't you do?"
Friends
"Uh, can I talk to you for a second? Over there?"
Friends
"Uh, we might be leaving now."
Friends
"Tell me it's you and me "we.""
Friends
"She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off."
Friends
"I'm not even sure what slathering is."
Friends
"But I definitely want to be a part of it."
Friends
"Okay, you cannot do this to me."
Friends
"You're right. I'm sorry. You're right."
Friends
"Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go, please?"
Friends
"I'm out of here."
Friends
"Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler."
Friends
"I hope she throws up on you."
Friends
"Thanks."
Friends
"Ugh, what a crappy night."
Friends
"Although I have enjoyed the fact that your shirt's been sticking out..."
Friends
"...of your zipper since you came back from the bathroom."
Friends
"Excuse me."
Friends
"How you doing?"
Friends
"So do we have the best friends, or what?"
Friends
"Joey's not a friend. He's..."
Friends
"...a stupid man who left us his credit card."
Friends
"Another drink? Some dessert? A big-screen TV?"
Friends
"I will go for that drink."
Friends
"A bottle of your most overpriced champagne."
Friends
"- Each. - That's right. Each."
Friends
"Oh. And a, uh, Rob Roy."
Friends
"I've always wanted to know."
Friends
"Happy Valentine's Day."
Friends
"Oh, I miss you already."
Friends
"Can you believe this happened?"
Friends
"No, no."
Friends
"And yet it did."
Friends
"- Goodbye, Janice. - Kiss me."
Friends
"Oh, Chandler. Sorry."
Friends
"- Hey, Janice. - Hi, Monica."
Friends
"Okay. Well, this was very special."
Friends
"Rach, come see who's out here."
Friends
"What's going on...? Oh, my God."
Friends
"Janice. Hi."
Friends
"Janice is gonna go away now."
Friends
"I'll be right back."
Friends
"Oh. Joey. Look who it is."
Friends
"Whoa."
Friends
"Oh, good. Joey's home now."
Friends
"This is so much fun."
Friends
"This is like a reunion in the hall."
Friends
"[LAUGHS]"
Friends
"Hi, Ross. There's someone I want you to say hi to."
Friends
"He just happened to call."
Friends
"Hello, Ross. Yes, that's right. It's me. How did you know?"
Friends
"[LAUGHS]"
Friends
"I'm just saying if dogs do experience jet lag, then..."
Friends
"...that when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles..."
Friends
"...he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses, like, a week and a half."
Friends
"[LAUGHS]"
Friends
"- That's funny. - Yeah."
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"Who are they?"
Friends
"The, uh, blond is my ex-wife."
Friends
"And the woman touching her is her..."
Friends
"...close personal friend."
Friends
"You mean they're lovers?"
Friends
"If you want to put a label on it."
Friends
"Wow. Heh."
Friends
"- Anything else I should know? - Nope. That's it."
Friends
"Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby."
Friends
"I always forget that part."
Friends
"Hello."
Friends
"Okay. So now we need, um, sage branches and the sacramental wine."
Friends
"All I had is oregano and a Fresca."
Friends
"Um, that's okay."
Friends
"RACHEL: Ooh. - Okay."
Friends
"All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man."
Friends
"Huh. Okay, Pheebs, if we had that..."
Friends
"- Can we start throwing things in? - Um, yeah, okay."
Friends
"Oh. Okay. Um..."
Friends
"Okay. Barry's letters."
Friends
"Adam Ritter's boxer shorts."
Friends
"And I have the receipt from my dinner with:"
Friends
"[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]"
Friends
"- A picture of Scotty Jared, naked. - Let me see."
Friends
"He's wearing a sweater."
Friends
"- No. RACHEL & PHOEBE: Ew!"
Friends
"Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa."
Friends
"[ALL SCREAM]"
Friends
"How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?"
Friends
"Oh, man. In my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush."
Friends
"Hello, funny valentine."
Friends
"Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker."
Friends
"I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna."
Friends
"Oh. Okay, heh. Ha, ha, okay."
Friends
"If you don't do it, I will."
Friends
"So, um, what do you do for a living?"
Friends
"Well, um for the past few years..."
Friends
"[PAGER BEEPS]"
Friends
"Oh, no. You said they could shoot the spot without you."
Friends
"SUSAN: I thought they could."
Friends
"- Working with children, which is really fulfilling."
Friends
"I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry."
Friends
"...which is funny because that wasn't even my major."
Friends
"[LAUGHS]"
Friends
"Now, that is funny."
Friends
"Would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us?"
Friends
"Because she's alone now."
Friends
"And pregnant. And sad."
Friends
"- I guess. - Are you sure?"
Friends
"Thanks. Carol."
Friends
"Wanna come over and join us?"
Friends
"Come on, stand up. These people will scooch down. Come on."
Friends
"Come over here. You guys will scooch, won't you?"
Friends
"Let's try scooching. Come on."
Friends
"ROSS: Come on. CAROL: Thank you."
Friends
"Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willet."
Friends
"- Carol, Kristen. - How do you do?"
Friends
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