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Clips from The Odd Couple - Pilot (S01E01)

"What?! You're on a date with me and he gets to spend the night?"
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, we will have a much better time with just Felix."
The Odd Couple
"it doesn't!"
The Odd Couple
"Hello, Oscar. I just came for my things."
The Odd Couple
"I like to make jokes and pretend I'm happy my marriage ended,"
The Odd Couple
"but you were right."
The Odd Couple
"I've just spent the last year of my life distracting myself"
The Odd Couple
"from the truth, which is..."
The Odd Couple
"I miss Gaby."
The Odd Couple
"And then you came along and..."
The Odd Couple
"Well, I had two chardonnays and a cherry NyQuil last night,"
The Odd Couple
"so I'm a bit of a wreck myself."
The Odd Couple
"But it dawned on me that you are the second person in a week"
The Odd Couple
"So, if I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone,"
The Odd Couple
"I think I might need someone to teach me to loosen up a little."
The Odd Couple
"Felix? Hey, we came to see if you're okay."
The Odd Couple
"Also, we can't find anything in the kitchen"
The Odd Couple
"It's not alphabetical, it's by region."
The Odd Couple
"I'm fine."
The Odd Couple
"In fact, I think I'm gonna be staying here with Oscar."
The Odd Couple
"You are?"
The Odd Couple
"Yes. This is his home now."
The Odd Couple
"Aw, I'm so happy for you guys."
The Odd Couple
"I've got a great idea. Why don't I make up for last night"
The Odd Couple
"and take you all out for breakfast."
The Odd Couple
"- Thanks, Oscar. - Ooh."
The Odd Couple
"I know this great place. Best omelets in town."
The Odd Couple
"Oh. Hi. I think some of your mail ended up in my..."
The Odd Couple
"Wow, that's a lot of Lycra."
The Odd Couple
"Not enough but a lot."
The Odd Couple
"Otherwise, I would be an uptight basket case."
The Odd Couple
"Care to join me?"
The Odd Couple
"No, I'm going out for a run."
The Odd Couple
"- Really? - Well, a beer run."
The Odd Couple
"I'm not just going to purify your apartment,"
The Odd Couple
"but also your body, your mind,"
The Odd Couple
"Better not move."
The Odd Couple
"can we have that drink some other time?"
The Odd Couple
"But the pain comes in waves."
The Odd Couple
"But it gets better, buddy, trust me."
The Odd Couple
"I must be allergic to something."
The Odd Couple
"You're right, I need to man up and be strong"
The Odd Couple
"to survive this trial separation."
The Odd Couple
"What pain? The day we signed the papers,"
The Odd Couple
"Where will it go next?"
The Odd Couple
"But good news:"
The Odd Couple
"Those guys were giving me a rough time"
The Odd Couple
"Give it time."
The Odd Couple
"was growing at the bottom of your laundry hamper."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, Oscar."
The Odd Couple
"While we were still playing."
The Odd Couple
"Roy, always a pleasure. Teddy,"
The Odd Couple
"it would just fall down to the ground."
The Odd Couple
"How do you know my cholesterol is high?"
The Odd Couple
"Come on, Roy, let's watch the game at my place."
The Odd Couple
"You've met my wife; why would I want to live longer?"
The Odd Couple
"gazpacho time!"
The Odd Couple
"Not in other words; those are the perfect ones!"
The Odd Couple
"is peeing in the shower!"
The Odd Couple
"For a lawyer."
The Odd Couple
"She can get so emotional and high-strung."
The Odd Couple
"I've got a great guy on West 58th."
The Odd Couple
"Look, Oscar, I really do like you..."
The Odd Couple
"What are you doing?"
The Odd Couple
"Turns out, so did Brandon."
The Odd Couple
"Oscar?"
The Odd Couple
"No, you are not staying at a hotel."
The Odd Couple
"If you think that sound stops when he falls asleep,"
The Odd Couple
"to tell me that I am impossible to live with."
The Odd Couple
"Blink if you're being coerced."
The Odd Couple
"Not now, not now, not now."
The Odd Couple
"and your soul."
The Odd Couple
"A little bit of food on your mouth."
The Odd Couple
"Mm. I see you like them rugged and handsome."
The Odd Couple
"Felix, are you okay?"
The Odd Couple
"Oscar, as your roommate, I'm putting you on notice."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, yeah, Sportscasters Hall of Fame."
The Odd Couple
"Where's Casey?"
The Odd Couple
"is gonna be like college all over again."
The Odd Couple
"No, he seems incredibly gay, but he's not."
The Odd Couple
"Yes, I have been watching you, and you know what I see?"
The Odd Couple
""Leave him alone! He's all right!""
The Odd Couple
"I'd like to change my answer."
The Odd Couple
"and we'll have a lot more because we're free."
The Odd Couple
"Where are the guys? Did they leave?"
The Odd Couple
"That's my skill set!"
The Odd Couple
"And then when she finally saw it, it was all smudged,"
The Odd Couple
"Thanks, buddy."
The Odd Couple
"No sync... Oh, my good God!"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, you're fine. Just walk it off."
The Odd Couple
"but I'm in the Sportscasters Hall of Fame."
The Odd Couple
"Never gets old."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, Oscar,"
The Odd Couple
"I managed to save the ficus out on the terrace."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, it's a treat for us all."
The Odd Couple
"Just an allergy alert."
The Odd Couple
"Teddy, are you filming my sports ticker?"
The Odd Couple
"and wash up for dinner."
The Odd Couple
"Gazpacho time!"
The Odd Couple
"I will not give you more than you can handle."
The Odd Couple
"I'm just kidding."
The Odd Couple
"Thanks, nature."
The Odd Couple
"A pleasure."
The Odd Couple
"F.U."
The Odd Couple
"Oscar, is that coffee? I just cleaned the rug!"
The Odd Couple
"Well, it looks like"
The Odd Couple
"Hot Casey"
The Odd Couple
"Now, get out."
The Odd Couple
"Are you sure? I think I saw something moving"
The Odd Couple
"the pollen level has dropped to a 2.3, so the mask..."
The Odd Couple
"I have a laundry hamper?"
The Odd Couple
"Oh. Right."
The Odd Couple
"My wife thought I was having an affair with our maid."
The Odd Couple
"That's a shame. I always wanted to have a gay friend."
The Odd Couple
"Rock-bottom and I am still standing on my feet."
The Odd Couple
"And if you back out now, it'll be rude."
The Odd Couple
"So, this is my ex-husband, Brandon."
The Odd Couple
"Do you have any pictures of Ashley?"
The Odd Couple
"I knew it was too good to be true."
The Odd Couple
"Aw, Oscar, look at you."
The Odd Couple