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Clips from American Housewife - Pilot (S01E01)

"Whoops."
American Housewife
"Nude Norman isn't gonna get a job"
American Housewife
"We're here because Westport has a great public school"
American Housewife
"I know you think that I'm acting crazy,"
American Housewife
"Deal."
American Housewife
"Oh, yes."
American Housewife
"We become The end is near people."
American Housewife
"She's had enough of the skinnies in this town,"
American Housewife
"It's the worst thing for him."
American Housewife
"Not Rain Man anxiety,"
American Housewife
"for this quality daddy-daughter toilet time."
American Housewife
"Anna-Kat, close the door, honey."
American Housewife
"- Okay, Mommy. - Okay."
American Housewife
"Yeah, now."
American Housewife
"Okay, there's Evelyn. The biggest."
American Housewife
"It's my Spanx."
American Housewife
"That's not gonna work. They're hooked to my bra."
American Housewife
"if I don't make you wear the sleeping mask."
American Housewife
"I ate something weird."
American Housewife
"I don't like it, Mom. I don't like it one bit."
American Housewife
"Okay, fine."
American Housewife
"to stop Fat Pam from leaving town."
American Housewife
"with our little neighborhood."
American Housewife
"Yeah, there's no getting around her on the sidewalk."
American Housewife
"money-obsessed brats in this town."
American Housewife
"Pretty sure Stalin killed the most people."
American Housewife
"And never pee at a state fair."
American Housewife
"Come on, sweetie."
American Housewife
"It's a little thing called capitalism."
American Housewife
"Mom! Front door for you!"
American Housewife
"- It is. - Thank you."
American Housewife
"the damning Westport You're so real."
American Housewife
"And the truth is, Two Fitbits was right."
American Housewife
"I'm eating this."
American Housewife
"I'm not giving up like Fat Pam, so watch out, skinnies."
American Housewife
"the second-fattest housewife in Westport."
American Housewife
"obliterating life as we know it,"
American Housewife
"whose life has been one, long awkward phase"
American Housewife
"Yeah, that's a lie."
American Housewife
"my jolly, plus-sized, ham-ass neighbor?"
American Housewife
"- Mwah! - Mwah!"
American Housewife
"Oh, great."
American Housewife
"Celeste never even wanted to carry a child."
American Housewife
"And yet, now she's fighting me"
American Housewife
"And I'm going to be"
American Housewife
"But she's wearing two of them."
American Housewife
"You have to sit next to me while I watch Castle"
American Housewife
"Mm. Different how?"
American Housewife
"Yeah."
American Housewife
"Instead of trying to scare away all the buyers,"
American Housewife
"This is why I tolerate the look of your feet!"
American Housewife
"I might as well accept it..."
American Housewife
"She seemed to really love that house."
American Housewife
"Is that one of those green healthy drinks?"
American Housewife
"Apparently, today, he brought in a single can"
American Housewife
"You know how lots of times you think you're sick,"
American Housewife
"Okay."
American Housewife
"I love you!"
American Housewife
"Would you like to be my friend?"
American Housewife
"Uh, it's okay, Mom. I've got this."
American Housewife
"Very poor example you're setting, Mom."
American Housewife
"no matter what it takes."
American Housewife
"Hi, neighbor."
American Housewife
"So, all I have to do"
American Housewife
"Mnh-mnh."
American Housewife
"until last Thursday when the Boob Fairy"
American Housewife
"I don't believe in giving hand-outs."
American Housewife
"Right?"
American Housewife
"Damn it. He's right."
American Housewife
"You look good."
American Housewife
"I come into this house to see my dead friends."
American Housewife