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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Starr Off the Parade (S01E01)

"I'm gonna sing a song for a really big fan who requested it."
Haters Back Off!
"♪ If you see a faded sign At the side of the road that says ♪"
Haters Back Off!
"♪ Fifteen miles to the love shack ♪"
Haters Back Off!
"♪ Love shack, baby ♪"
Haters Back Off!
"♪ I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway ♪"
Haters Back Off!
"- What do you think? - That was so good."
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"You're... you're amazing."
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"I'm gonna send her a headshot."
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"Oh, well..."
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"I'm Patrice."
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"Well, it was a... a typo."
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"Oh."
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"Mmm..."
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"Well, who should I make it out to then? Patrice or Patrick?"
Haters Back Off!
"How's your arm doing?"
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"You stabbed me in the perfect place."
Haters Back Off!
"So, it's... it's healing up nicely."
Haters Back Off!
"There's something, uh... [clears throat]"
Haters Back Off!
"if it's not too much trouble..."
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"if you would be open to the idea of maybe going on a date?"
Haters Back Off!
"Why?"
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"[stammers] Um, that's a good question."
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"Maybe to see if we were compatible for potential marriage."
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"Marriage? [scoffs]"
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"Patrick, I'm famous now. [chuckles]"
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"I can only date and marry famous people."
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"Plus, you're allergic to milk. It'll never work."
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"But maybe if... if you ever change your mind..."
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"You... [sighs] you could just let me know."
Haters Back Off!
"Okay."
Haters Back Off!
"- You can leave now. - Okay."
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"Oh, yeah. Order two half-pound patties..."
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"[doctor] Your kidney is failing."
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"The goal of treatment is to manage the pain and symptoms."
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"But with advanced PKD like yours, um..."
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"dialysis, maybe even kidney transplant, may be necessary."
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"It... It's important at a time like this to get support from family and friends."
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"[sighs]"
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"It'll be okay."
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"It says that you are taking submissions for an amateur movie."
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"I manage a girl who I think would be perfect."
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"Oh, yes. Adults will love her."
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"Uh, now what's it called?"
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"King Kong Seven, uh..."
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"Oh, "Dong," sorry. I misheard you."
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"Um, bush? Let me check."
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"Miranda, when was the last time you trimmed your Chia Pet?"
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"I haven't trimmed it in a while."
Haters Back Off!
"Okay, Uncle Jim. You're gonna wanna hang up on that person."
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"I think you're right, Emily. Sir, I'm gonna have to call you back."
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"The TV is on much too loud here."
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"Bethany, I can't get any work done with all that racket."
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"[laughs] Then you need to get in bed with..."
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"Maureen the Mattress Queen!"
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"I want that crown."
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"Did I ever tell you guys that we went to high school together?"
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"I went to high school with her. I know her."
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"Literally, every time that commercial comes on,"
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"you tell us that you knew her."
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"And then you make a joke about how you guys had chemistry together."
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"Me and Maureen."
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"- Chemistry class. - [chuckles] Good one."
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"We just had chemistry class together, guys."
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"[scoffs] Never gets old."
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"Come see the reason why I was named the grand marshal"
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"And come get in bed with Maureen the Mattress Queen."
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"What the heck? How come she gets to be in the parade?"
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"I'm way more famouser than her. Uncle Jim!"
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"I just had the perfect idea."
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"She's got plenty of room at the top of that float."
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"Yes. [sighs]"
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"- [door opens and closes] - Mom, I need you to sign this."
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"Residential program?"
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"Yep. And can you just sign right there?"
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"Well, it looks like a school for really talented kids."
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"I mean, are you sure it's right for you?"
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"[scoffs] Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom."
Haters Back Off!
"No. I just..."
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"I mean, what if it doesn't work out?"
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"Sometimes you have to take a chance."
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"Do something you've never done before."
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"Especially if you have nothing to lose and I mean..."
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"Okay?"
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"[sighs]"
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"Does she expect people to freeze to death at night?"
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"[scoffs] Probably."
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"- What are you doing? - Testing the coils."
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"[sighs] Yeah. [grunts]"
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"[Maureen] Here's my secret."
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"This is actually one of my favorite mattresses in the store."
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"Miranda, get over here. I need your help. Lay down."
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"No. Get all the way over to the side like Bethany does."
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"It'd be really smart to get the lumbar spine in that..."
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"Actually, sorry. Can you hold on for a second?"
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"If it isn't little Jimmy, the flag twirler."
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"[inhales sharply] Ooh. You know what?"
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"Just the gym and the math lab..."
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"- Yeah. That's it. - That's it."
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"and now you're following your little niece around."
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"- Look who's talking. - What?"
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"You don't even have a niece."
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"Ooh, burn! [chuckles]"
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"- Burn. - Good one."
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"I don't have time for a niece. Okay?"
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"I'm a grand marshal and I'm a goddess."
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"[inhales sharply]"
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"Uh, what are you doing in my store, Jim?"
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"I'm going to let you put YouTube sensation Miranda Sings"
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"Going once, going twice..."
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"- [clears throat] Going once, go... - Let it go, Jim."
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"What? What a rip off."
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"You know what? You're worse at negotiating than you are at ribbon dancing."
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"[scoffs] Maureen, you may be a mattress queen..."
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"but you have no idea what I can do with 20 feet of ribbon."
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"It would have been incredible."
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"Oh, sweetie. No. Nothing you do is incredible."
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"- That's not true. - Literally nothing."
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"- Yeah, nothing. - I have a niece."
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"Yeah, he's got me. Hello? [scoffs]"
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"- Stop it. - Stop it."
Haters Back Off!
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