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Clips from Arrested Development - Notapusy (S03E03)

"- I know how I'd answer. - Give us some room, George Michael."
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"to keep from humiliating himself in front of Rita."
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"You can control your bladder when you're dead."
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"No blood, no oil. There's no "I" in win!"
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"Michael returned confident in his manliness..."
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"when he ran into his son, who was questioning his own."
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"How is that pageant going?"
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"- It turns out Ann doesn't want me around during it. - Really?"
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"Well, now you and me can go to that fair together tomorrow after all."
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"- Yeah? - Yeah, and maybe do some man stuff like you said."
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"Oh. Okay, great. Yeah. I did wanna do that with you."
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"I mean, I've already promised Steve Holt."
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"- You know, he's older. It's more manly. - You don't think I'm manly?"
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"No, no, it's just, uh..."
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"Darn that Annabelle! She ruins everything."
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"to discover every muscle in his body was exacting revenge."
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"- Oil? - And so was his brother Gob."
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"Hey, does anyone know why my handlebars are in my bed?"
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"The Church and State Fair was in full swing."
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"And Lindsay watched with pride as Hope Loblaw..."
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"Did an original number that Lindsay herself had written."
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"performing "We Three Kings" with a camel tow."
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"Michael arrived at the fair sore from overtraining."
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"Can't really go that high. I'm in a lot of pain here."
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"Yeah, you know, I figured you'd be that way."
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"So, uh, Coach gave me these. They're, uh, pills filled with oxygen."
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"Have one. They're called oxy-incontinent."
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"Steve didn't have that quite right."
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"But Michael thought Rita might be coming, and he was desperate to impress her."
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"Meanwhile, Maeby was trying to get knocked out of the pageant."
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"About just as much as Big Bird and the Keebler elves."
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"Well, my faith would have been shaken if he had taken my legs too."
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"Uh, Gob Bluth, State."
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"I was betrayed by my brother Michael."
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"Who's your favorite family member and why?"
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"Definitely not my shallow, materialistic mother, who only cares about looks."
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"I think we all feel that way about our mothers. And we all have legs."
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"Meanwhile, George Sr. arrived at the Startled Straight tent."
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"I'll be waiting out here with my enlistment forms."
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"But as it turns out, the fair had two Startled Straight tents..."
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"and George Sr. Had wandered into the church-sponsored one..."
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"You wanna be some guy's girlfriend?"
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"Intended to scare gay young men into a heterosexual lifestyle."
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"You wanna have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night..."
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"- start messing with your junk? - Is he ugly?"
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"No, it's pitch-black. You don't... You don't see him."
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"and everybody acts like it's no big deal."
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"Is there a cover charge?"
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"the stalwart Annabelle Veal..."
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"It became clear that Surely was going to win."
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"And that's when Maeby displayed some real inner beauty."
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"One of these girls deserves to win."
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"She can stand!"
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"- Maeby? - That's how I know her."
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"Praise the Lord!"
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"And Michael, now feeling a little woozy..."
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"arrived to see the triathlon course..."
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"which consisted of several tricycles, five inflatable pools..."
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"- What the hell is this? - and fathers and sons being manacled together."
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"Don't let it psyche you out. Did that oxy-incontinent set in yet?"
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"You knew this is what the race was?"
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"Kind of. I mean, they change it every year so you can't replicate it on your lawn."
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"Why did you let me train so hard?"
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"- I just thought you wanted to hang out and do guy stuff. - This isn't guy stuff."
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"I don't know why I thought that you'd wanna do this. This is stupid, huh?"
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"No, Steve, Steve. You're not going anywhere."
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"- You'll do it with me? - We're chained together."
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"But, you know, Rita's not here yet, and what the hell. Let's go win this thing."
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"- Let's win this thing! - What the hell."
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"- What the hell! - Let's win this thing. Let's go ahead and start up."
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"And after the pageant, George Michael went to congratulate Ann."
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"Congratulations on coming in third. That's amazing."
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"And I heard you're the first camel act to ever crack the top 10 too..."
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"so that's, like, a record."
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"And I'm a bit relieved, because, um, I was..."
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"I thought maybe if you came in first, you would have outgrown me."
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"- Outgrown you. - Mm-hmm."
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"That is the term I've been looking for."
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"It seems Gob was right..."
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"about what happens to third place contestants."
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"And he was faced with a choice."
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"Michael and Steve Holt finished their triathlon in first place."
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"Of course, they were way older."
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"Believe it or not, that took about everything I got."
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"I don't know what was in that pill, but I do not feel so great."
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"- It's gonna get a little worse before it gets any better. - Really?"
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"- We won! - Okay."
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"Michael, your son's signing up for the army."
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"What? You signed him up for the army?"
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"Oh, my God, you're right. If he goes in, I can get out."
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"- I've gotta get my name on his form. - Hang on! Hey!"
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"And that's when Rita noticed Michael."
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"- Could you not finish? - No, no. First place."
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"First place, I swear. But I'm sorry, I gotta go do something."
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"- Wait, I'm dizzy. - Uncle Mike, come on."
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"- I'll-I'll take you. - No, no, no, no. Steve, Steve..."
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"And meanwhile, George Sr..."
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"I mean, there's nothing to do all day except lift weights and fold laundry..."
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"get thrown into a cage with a bunch of sweaty men."
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"Excuse me. I can't go back."
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"- I can't go back. - I'm glad he won't be there. He's ugly."
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"and the pope mobile..."
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"Come on. I can't go back!"
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"Who was three rungs away from being in the army."
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"I'm becoming a man, Dad. Isn't that what everybody wants?"
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"Of course not. Gob, can you get us out of these chains, please?"
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"- All right, one key coming up. - He's a magician."
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"Yeah. We-We need you to sign this form."
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"But it's also an army of one, and it's no place for wimps."
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"You have a family, okay? And I'm the wimp, not you."
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"Because I could not take you being away in the army, all right?"
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"I love you."
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"- That did it. - He's not signing up."
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"That's too bad. I was this close to gettin' out."
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"Hey, I think I'm gonna go get one of those corn dog crosses."
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"- Was that your son? - Yes, Rita."
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"Yeah. The most important person in the world to me."
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"You really are quite a man, Michael."
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"- Do you really think so? - Oh, yes."
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"You're a complete and utter!@%$#."
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