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Clips from Cheers - Any Friend of Diane's (S01E01)

"- Cliff, answer that for me, will you? - You bet, Coach."
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"- Sounds like trouble with the kids. - l'm not here."
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"- Carla. - Give it to me. What is it?"
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"And if l get home and you've flushed the car keys again, you've had it."
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"Sounds like you had a pretty nice day off."
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"We walked in the woods, we communed with nature."
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"l had a pretty nice day off myself."
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"- Afternoon everybody. - Ho, Norm."
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"How's life treating you?"
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"Like he caught in bed with his wife."
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"l gonna bring some company in."
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"Gotcha."
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"l don't want him to think l'm a bar fly."
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"Gotcha, Norm."
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"Aye, aye, skipper."
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"Do you sense this conversation is an exercise in futility?"
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"Thank you. My name is Ernie Pantusso but you can call me Coach."
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"What the hell's going on here?"
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"Only if l can spit in it."
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"l'll never forget those long afternoons in the quad,"
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"Dogs, vicious kids, those hard-to-find mailboxes."
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"Delivering a card to some old hag."
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"..kinda gets me right behind the old ballpoint."
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"The children cry over the carcass,"
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"lf that didn't pick you up, l'm at a virtual loss."
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"Pardon?"
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"Diane, l've been thinking about this carefully."
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"The man l'm looking for should be peasant stock."
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"Tall, dark, strong, hairy arms."
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"You just sit very still, sip your wine."
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"Just about every day. l work here."
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"l couldn't help noticing your arms."
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"Sam. Two bourbons straight."
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"You can't fool me. He's exactly what l'm looking for."
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"Sam, that woman is a dear friend of mine."
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"- What? - ''No.''"
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"- Diane? - Yes."
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"Fine."
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"So? Who cares?"
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"And 53 minutes."
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"What do you say? This looks a nice place."
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"l think l'll have a..."
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"Perrier."
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"Two tankards of their finest ale."
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"- Hey, Sammy. - Hey."
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"- Diane, Sam's here. - So?"
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"l think l'm gonna stretch my legs, get a little exercise, fresh air."
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"l have no respect for a man who can't control himself"
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"when it comes to drinking."
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"How could you do that to that poor woman?"
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"Rebecca is a very vulnerable person, coming off a shattered relationship."
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"Yes. Contrary to your assumption, l am not a prude."
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"l have a healthy attitude toward..."
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"..you know."
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"l don't kiss and tell."
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"l get it."
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"You got angry because she considered you nothing but a stud service?"
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"No offence but your friend is very boring."
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"l decided to get my balalaikas out of there."
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"What? What is the truth?"
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"- Think so? - Yes."
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"Sam Malone, you're a better man than you're willing to admit."
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"and see her as a mere sex object."
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"You know, l'm having one heck of a time."
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"- One beer for my friend. - That's different."
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"l've come to say goodbye. For ever."
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"lt helps."
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"What did Sam do to you?"
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"- Wait, where are you going? - l am going to bring her in."
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"What am l gonna say?"
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"l was laughed at by the other boys, Norm."
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"Rebecca, may l speak to you in here for a moment?"
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"You see, l thought there was a fire."
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"You're making excuses to spare my feelings."
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"- Please. - Rebecca."
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"You are a very desirable woman."
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"- Me. - You?"
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"We can tell it now. Yes. Today we had a tiff right before you came in."
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"he finally remembered what a wonderful thing we have together."
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"lsn't that right, sweetheart?"
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"Yeah. Sure. You bet ya."
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"Well, l know. lt does test the limits of human logic."
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"l like a woman who does what her man tells her."
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"Lookee there, my shoe's undone. Will you get that for me, honey?"
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"- How's that, sweetheart? - That's much better. Thank you."
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"Let go of me."
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"Cheers. Carla? Yeah. Carla, it's for you."
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"Seraphina's where?"
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"No, l don't care if it helps the TV reception. Cut her down."
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"By the way, any more problems tonight and you're adopted."
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"Your real mother is Doris Slobotkin, 555 8921 ."
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"Think that's gonna work?"
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"One-in-a-million chance but l gotta take it."
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"However, if you insist."
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"l went out with David from the Anthropology Department."
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"He took me up to New Hampshire."
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"We stayed in a little inn where John Adams slept."
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"Yeah, lots of guys sign the register that way."
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"Well, now l know why l didn't wanna talk."
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"Taffy and l went sailing up at Marble Head."
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"Taffy?"
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"Sailing?"
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"You?"
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"You got a problem with that?"
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"No. lt's just thought your idea of romance was brunch and a cockfight."
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"- Who are you bringing in? - My new superior."
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"l gotta butter him up a little bit."
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"Bring him in here for a drink, catch some dinner upstairs."
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"- Why not take him to your house? - My wife lives there."
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"One things, you guys, you don't know me in here, OK?"
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"Why?"
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"- Good. - Don't call me Norm."
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"Diane, would you get some singles up at Melville's, please."
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"Coach, l'll be right back. l'm gonna get some wine."
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"- Pardon me. - Hi."
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"You're in luck. We've got one."
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"- l beg your pardon? - l hope you only want one."
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"- Rebecca Prout. - Hi, Becky."
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"Diane and l shared a suite at Bennington."
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"No kidding? Sam and l shared a Chunky Bar in Cleveland."
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