You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Veep - Catherine (S01E01)

"Did you see that caption"
Veep
"underneath the photo of me from the Hennessy fundraiser?"
Veep
""Who's the real first lady?" Sexist bullshit."
Veep
"Can't get drawn into it."
Veep
"Comparing our clothing budgets and our stylists..."
Veep
"Like that's all we care about?"
Veep
"And that mark Rivera called me a diva in his column."
Veep
"Stupid fucking midget."
Veep
"Clearly he hasn't heard you sing."
Veep
"The guy's a dick."
Veep
"Gary, did you find me a dog yet?"
Veep
"Yeah, I selected a few candidates."
Veep
"Or should I say canine-didates?"
Veep
"No, you shouldn't say that."
Veep
"- Let me see. - What do you think of that?"
Veep
"- A terrier? - Yeah."
Veep
"No way. A terrier is a diva dog. Forget it."
Veep
"I don't need a ball of yappy hair shitting its body weight every 30 minutes."
Veep
"Do you want a cat? I can get you a cat."
Veep
"No, no. I feel like a bad mom, you know?"
Veep
"'Cause I never let Catherine get a dog when she was little."
Veep
"This is a fresh start for us."
Veep
"It's parental ground zero."
Veep
"Look at this."
Veep
"20 years in D.C. Congratulations."
Veep
"Thank you."
Veep
"I didn't think you guys would eat the pineapple."
Veep
"Listen, you're a dog person, right?"
Veep
"- What kind of dog do you have? - I have a real dog."
Veep
"Simon, black labrador."
Veep
"Simon? What an unbelievable name."
Veep
"I guess he just looked like a Simon."
Veep
"Go on, get the photo out, Mike."
Veep
"I don't think we need to see the photo."
Veep
"I'd love to see a photo."
Veep
"- Sure. - Let me see."
Veep
"Such a shiny coat, no?"
Veep
"How do you get that coat so shiny, Mike?"
Veep
"Keep him hydrated. Lots of water."
Veep
"- You know? - To drink or applied directly to the coat?"
Veep
"Leave my fake dog alone."
Veep
"You know, I was just thinking,"
Veep
"maybe we should get a rescue dog 'cause it'll play great."
Veep
"As long as it's not one of those animals with three legs and a wheel."
Veep
"- Yeah. - Four legs good; Three legs bad."
Veep
"- I got it. - Whassup, as they say in the late '90s?"
Veep
"Jonah. Did the President cancel the Chinese premier"
Veep
"- to come to my 20th party? - No, ma'am."
Veep
"Although I'm sure he wouldn't miss it for the world"
Veep
"if it weren't for the fact that he runs the world."
Veep
"I'm sure his absence has nothing to do with your rift with the first lady."
Veep
"What? There is no rift."
Veep
"It was one tiny, little disagreement"
Veep
"and everyone's making it out like we had a catfight"
Veep
"in the map room or something."
Veep
"She'd be a rough fighter, though."
Veep
"She's got big shoulders. Those aren't pads."
Veep
"Ma'am, potus also wanted to know when you would be announcing"
Veep
"the oil guy that's gonna be going on the clean jobs task force."
Veep
"- This bozo Mike's on it. - So today? Tomorrow?"
Veep
"Blink if you understand me, Mike...."
Veep
"And as regards to the rift rumors, I'll keep my ear to the ground for you."
Veep
"Be careful your ears don't pop on the way down."
Veep
"Okay, can everybody come in here, please?"
Veep
"- Sure. - Come on."
Veep
"Right, we're gonna have to shut down this story"
Veep
"about me and the first lady."
Veep
"I mean, it means we're gonna have to undiva my party."
Veep
"We're gonna have to lose those huge photos of me."
Veep
"- No, I like those. - I know, they're great photos."
Veep
"I know, but there's no way we can have them."
Veep
"It's a good idea. We don't want you to look like..."
Veep
"Stalin."
Veep
"I was gonna say Eva Peron."
Veep
"Yeah, I prefer that comparison. Less of a mustache."
Veep
"And you know what, actually? She was kind of chic."
Veep
"- Gorgeous. - Mmlooks like Madonna."
Veep
"Yeah."
Veep
"Mike, have you announced Chuck yet?"
Veep
"- I'm still working on it, Amy. - Come on."
Veep
"- This is not the Hoover dam. - Yeah, it is the Hoover dam..."
Veep
"Filled with shit."
Veep
"And when we announce Chuck Furnham, an ex-oil guy,"
Veep
"on the clean jobs task force,"
Veep
"do you know what happens with all that shit, Amy?"
Veep
"Does it get used in a clumsy and unpleasant analogy by you?"
Veep
"Look, Amy, oil already hates me 'cause we're closing their tax loopholes"
Veep
"and making them pay for cleanup, so now I'm eating everyone's shit."
Veep
"I'm like the last guy in a human centipede with this."
Veep
"And there it is."
Veep
"We just got to put one guy on clean jobs."
Veep
"Chuck's oily, but he's not evil oily."
Veep
"- He's ex-oil. - Yeah, you put it out today."
Veep
"Today? Half of D.C. is at senator Reeves' dedication ceremony."
Veep
"Well, then you put it out there."
Veep
"I thought it might be disrespectful, but you're right."
Veep
"He was rapey Reeves. When was that guy ever respectful?"
Veep
"Okay, your daughter gets here in two hours."
Veep
"God, today feels like the perfect storm, doesn't it?"
Veep
"Yeah, hurricane Selina."
Veep
"Yeah. Uhwait a minute."
Veep
"Does that exist, hurricane Selina?"
Veep
"- I don't... - Can we run a check on that?"
Veep
"I'm binging it."
Veep
"Too full. Dan and Jonah out, please."
Veep
"And just so you know, this is also what would happen if we were in a lifeboat."
Veep
"You're not gonna believe this."
Veep
"Selina is on next year's list of hurricanes."
Veep
"Shit!"
Veep
"What if it hits and we get headlines"
Veep
"saying "Selina causing large-scale devastation"?"
Veep
"People won't equate you with a natural disaster, ma'am."
Veep
"Really, Amy? 'Cause I've met some people, okay?"
Veep
"Real people, and I've got to tell you,"
Veep
"a lot of them are fucking idiots."
Veep
"My God. Do you see this?"
Veep
"The senator Reeves recreation center."
Veep
"Did you know old grandpa fumblepants couldn't even swim?"
Veep
"He would just hang out in the shallow end and stare."
Veep
"You know what his favorite st?"
Veep
Show more clips