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Clips from Uncoupled - Chapter 3 (S01E01)

"and I'll get a tap and realize"
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"that we are both looking at the same 19th-century school chair."
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"Next thing you know, I'm face down in a barn."
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"-Great. -Mm."
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"Now there's two images I can't unsee."
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"-Can I give you a hand with that? -I'm good. I'm good. Sorry."
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"Sorry I'm late. Crazy morning."
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"Ugh! My girlfriend Mia and I went out for drinks last night."
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"And not only did she meet somebody in five minutes"
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"while I ate hot wings and played Candy Crush,"
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"but I left my credit card at the bar."
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"So I had to wait for them to open this morning."
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"I didn't wanna look like I needed a drink at eleven o'clock."
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"So I walk down the block,"
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"and my heel gets caught in a subway grate and snaps the fuck off."
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"$400 pair of SJPs literally down the drain."
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"Oh my God! My life right now is literally just…"
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"Sorry."
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"How are you?"
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"That's okay. I know you liked it better"
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"when you were the disaster, and I was the boring, old married guy."
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"I really did."
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"-Me too."
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"I've been working on the figures for Claire Lewis's broker's open."
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"This listing is so next-level,"
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"and given my reduced circumstances, I really need this commission."
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"This event can't look cheap. We're gonna have to spend some money."
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"-We've gotta sell this bitch."
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"I can feel my Amex card begging me to put it out of its misery."
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"Suzanne Prentiss."
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"So congrats on poaching Claire. Heard you had to reduce your commission."
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"Yeah, well, it's still a fuckload of money."
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"Well, I hope it's worth it."
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"I almost didn't have the energy to deal with her. And I'm young."
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"I'll be fine, Tyler. We've actually made a genuine connection."
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"Oh, right. The whole parallel lives falling apart thing."
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"I can see it's really taking its toll."
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"Honey, our luck has just changed."
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"We have a new client."
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"Paolo Forella,"
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"a big Italian furniture importer in from Rome tomorrow for one day,"
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"and he needs to lock down a pied-à-terre in the two million range,"
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"and he wants us to put together a multiple showing."
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"That's great. Who referred us?"
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"No one. He said he picked us from our picture."
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"I told you those photos would pay off."
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"Only you look good in this picture."
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"I look ragged."
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"Oh my-- oh my God. He is so hot."
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"Oh-ho-ho!"
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"Recently divorced. Check."
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"Two grown kids. Check."
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"Residences in Rome and Positano. Check! Check!"
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"Oh-ho-ho!"
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"Paolo, mi amor. Molto bello."
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"Why did I eat all those fucking wings?"
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"He's okay."
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"Do you think I should get my eyes done?"
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"No. Delete, delete. He's not watching! He's not watching!"
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"What up, Mikey?"
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"I'm just eatin' Chinese and missing fucking Colin."
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"Aww. Sorry, baby. But Stanley told me you're on Grindr."
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"So pants off to you. What's your handle?"
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"I haven't thought about it. How about MikeNewToThis?"
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"Because you're a young Amish boy who just arrived in the big bad city?"
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"Gina, get under my eyes. I had a very late night."
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"You need somethin' sexy,"
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"like HungAlphaJock or NineHardForYou."
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"Which, memory serves, is a bit of an exaggeration,"
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"but nobody's coming in with a ruler."
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"Jesus, your makeup lady is right there."
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"How about PiggyWantACumHole?"
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"Oh my God."
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"Gina's seen it all. She used to do Charlie Rose."
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"Look, all I'm saying is make sure you pick something that says you're DTF."
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"AthleticTop?"
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"Sounds like a sports bra."
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"From personal experience, wouldn't AthleticVers be more accurate?"
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"Okay. You know what?"
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"One hookup, 25 years ago, Billy. People change."
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"Don't you have to mispredict the weather?"
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"Sweetie, I just look pretty and read the shit."
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"Look, you know what? Ooh. I'm gonna go with NewHotMike."
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"-Oh! I have a message waiting. -There you go."
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"Message back."
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"-What'd he say? -It's a pic."
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"But I can't really tell what it is. Oh my God! It's a butthole. Classy."
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"-Ah!"
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"-Welcome to Grindr, NewHotMike."
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"-On set in five. -Oh, I'm on. I love you."
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"You too."
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"Claire?"
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"Up here."
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"Oh my God."
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"How did this happen?"
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"I had a moment."
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"You did this? Why?"
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"My hus--"
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"My ex-husband went to visit our daughter,"
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"sorry, our kid, at Brown this weekend,"
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"and brought his whore, gold-digging girlfriend along to meet them."
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"As you can see, I didn't take it well."
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"I'm… so sorry."
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"This used to be his favorite room."
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"It still has so many of his most treasured possessions."
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"Had. I'll show you a fucking hole in one."
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"-Oh!"
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"Okay. Oh--"
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"-Would you like a drink? -Yes, please."
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"Vodka all right?"
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"Sure."
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"So, obviously we'll need to postpone the broker's open"
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"till we can deal with all this,"
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"but moving forward, don't you have anyone you can vent to about this"
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"so we can avoid a, you know, future gut renovation?"
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"Yeah."
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"Oh."
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"Me."
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"-Have a seat. -Sure, yeah. Let's… Uh, sure."
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"I'll sit right here in Beirut."
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