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Clips from The Office - Frame Toby (S05E05)

"but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail."
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"She thinks she can go off to college and be happy."
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"And then, the murderer comes back"
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"and starts killing off all of her friends."
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"Learned a lot of lessons from that movie."
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"This is just one of them."
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"Okay, just summarize."
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"Okay, fireable offenses include"
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"That's it. That's it, perfect."
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"We will get him to hit on somebody,"
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"and then we'll catch him in the act."
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"I love catching people in the act."
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"That's why I always whip open doors."
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"For what?"
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"Men find me desirable. No, no, no."
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"It's a good day, too. I'm wearing my mustard shirt."
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"No. For one thing, he's not gay."
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"And if somebody were to be bait,"
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"it would be Jim or Ryan or me."
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"Men find me desirable."
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"Sure they do, Dwight."
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"When it comes down to it, it's a health issue."
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"I should've written that."
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"Yeah."
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"Why aren't you as mad or interested in this as me?"
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"Oh, totally. Sorry, are we talking about the microwave still?"
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"No."
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"Yes. I just have to take this call anyway, so..."
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"No one would ever cheat on you."
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"Okay, what I would like you to do is take this folded note"
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"I want you to just react to whatever this note elicits."
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"Do not read it beforehand."
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"Can you do that for me?"
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"Sure. Good."
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""I am too shy to tell you that I love you.""
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"Yeah, yeah, I'll see them. Cool."
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"Toby, can I see those?"
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"What's the matter? What's the matter? You scared?"
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"Okay, those are fighting words."
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"I hope he doesn't haul off and just hit you."
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"Do you want to do that? Do you want to hit me?"
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"You want to punch me?"
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"Come on. Come on..."
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"What's the matter?"
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"Yeah, punch him. Hey, hey."
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"Come on, Ryan. Whose side are you on?"
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"No, do it. Do it. I dare you."
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"Punch him as hard as you possibly can"
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"in the face. I dare you, Flenderson."
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"Just a good, solid punch."
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"Should have hit him, man. The guy was asking for it."
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""Hey, whoever was bashing the first note, grow up."
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""You are all a bunch of idiots and privileged ass-wipes who werert raised right."
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""If I find you, I'm gonna knock your teeth out.""
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"I thought you were going to parcel those out"
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"through the day. Would you stop it?"
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"You haven't done anything helpful all day."
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"Frame him? Yeah."
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"I've never framed a man before. Have you?"
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"And I framed a bear for eating out of the garbage."
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"It just seems awfully mean."
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"But sometimes, the ends justify the mean."
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"Hello. I've seen you guys around."
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"How you doing?"
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"So I guess you know why I'm here."
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"Like a fridge? No."
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"I wanted to buy some weed from someone."
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"What?"
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"Grass, weed."
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"What makes you think we'd have weed?"
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"Why would you even say that?"
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"How much? $500."
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"How many pounds is that?"
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"Thank you. I was just back there"
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"I know. Can you believe it?"
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"Oh, no, trust me, I would just make it worse."
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"How would wiping it with a paper towel make it worse?"
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"You've seen things clean before though, right?"
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"Hi, Michael."
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"I forgot... I forgot..."
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"DWIGHT: (WHISPERING) Yes. I repeat,"
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"His name is Toby Flenderson."
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"Angela, I didn't do that."
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"So is this what they taught you at your fancy art school?"
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"Why would I draw a penis on my own note?"
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"Everyone, I have an announcement to make."
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"Why did you hide behind anonymity?"
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"Because I was scared. But if that's my only crime,"
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"is it a worse crime than leaving a filthy microwave?"
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"Amen."
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"Don't. This is for real."
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"It's not my mess."
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"It would've taken less time to clean it up than to write all those notes."
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"That's not the point."
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"Listen, New York, that might fly..."
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"Why? Because I went to New York for three months?"
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"Okay, yes. I went to New York, everybody."
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"I'm not gonna apologize for it."
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"I love New York."
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"You know, I especially love that people there cleaned up after themselves."
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"I got a mess to clean up at home, plus I'm a part-time maid."
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"And what about the penises?"
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"Why should I? You couldn't get over the messy microwave."
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"What?"
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"Can't do what?"
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"Wait, what are you saying? I broke up with Darryl so I could be with you."
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"That was your choice. Don't put that on me."
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"Can I come?"
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"It's not that kind of trip."
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"And if I don't do it now, I'll never get to go."
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"You don't want me to resent you, do you?"
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"So you're dumping me?"
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"Okay."
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"I don't know anything about that."
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"Officers, I reveal to you the perpetrator."
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"Hey, what is this? Search his things."
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"Sir, could you step away from your desk, please?"
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"Why? Sir, please step away from your desk."
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"You don't have my permission to do this."
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"They don't need your permission, Flenderson."
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