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Clips from That '70s Show (1998) - The Acid Queen (S06E06)

"- Red, this is crazy right? - Yeah, they're all nuts."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Except you, sweetheart."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look at all the smart, lonely girls."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Little ones, big ones; it's like a virgin pumpkin patch."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Can I help you? - Yes, I'd like an order of books please."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Could you be more specific? - Could you be more beautiful?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Could you be more lame?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yes"
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Excuse me, I'm trying to read. - Don't be a sissy."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Y'know what? Here's a firecracker, go live a little. - Thanks"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look, I know why you're here and I'm sorry, you're not my type."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I was high school valedictorian and you're the antithesis of that."
That '70s Show (1998)
"The anti-who-of-what?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Exactly."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay no, come on don't be like that okay? Look I really like you and I just thought that maybe we could go out some time,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"like for coffee."
That '70s Show (1998)
"and then if that went good, then we could go to a movie."
That '70s Show (1998)
"and then when we really start to trust each other, you can tell my friends how we did it at the Molly Hatchet concert."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look, I don't make it with guys at concerts."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I read two periodicals a week about the Dewey Decimal system, which I'm sure you've never heard of."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay I have heard of Dewey Decimal..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"it's Donald Ducks nephew."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I can't believe Brooke. I mean standing there at the library, totally resisting me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I can't believe we have a library."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I know, what is it like invisible?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, no, you know that parking lot where we drink beer in?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, well you know that wall that we lean up against?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"That's the library."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well then, guess who has peed on the library?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Y'know for the first time in my life, I hope there's not a secret hot girls club, because if there is,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I bet Brooke said awful things about me at their last meeting."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Order bitches."
That '70s Show (1998)
"The secret hot girls club is now in session."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now, last meeting we all decided to go braless,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and I just wanna report that operation bazooma bounce is driving the boys insane."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hi, my name is Brooke and I've been a hot girl for 6 years."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hi Brooke."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And I just wanna let everyone know that Michael Kelso asked me out, and I resisted his charms and turned him down."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- But he's irresistible. - That's what I thought, but it's a lie, a lie I tell you."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Then it's official. No secret hot girl will ever date Michael Kelso ever again."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay that's great, that's great."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now this calls for dancing bubble kiss time!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kelso, there is no secret hot girls club."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well of course the president won't admit it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Y'know I don't care is there's a club or not, dancing bubble kiss time is just a fabulous idea."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well all I know is that Brooke and I had a romantic night together at the concert."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Why is she pretending like it didn't happen?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well maybe she's embarrassed. I mean she's used to dating really brainy guys."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, not guys who set their own pants on fire."
That '70s Show (1998)
"On a dare."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And I won a dollar."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kelso, if you want Brooke to like you, y'know maybe you should go down to the library and show her you can be smart."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I hate the library."
That '70s Show (1998)
"The only good thing about it is that you can check out Playboys."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I mean they have every issue since it started."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wait, every issue?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Are you telling me that they have the one with Pamela Sue Martin, televisions Nancy Drew, in a grotto, straddling the world's luckiest boulder?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Uh, they have periodicals you say?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"What is wrong with Steven? I mean why won't he just say that Brooke's not hot?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Because he doesn't know how to lie."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I mean, how do I know he loves me if he doesn't obey me?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, you've chosen a strong man, Jackie and they don't always obey."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now, do I think he should have said that other girl wasn't pretty, yes, but you have to pick your battles."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wait, no, I wanna be right all the time."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And you will be. After a few years they just..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"they give up."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, watch."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Red, could you go to the drug store and get me a Ladies Home Journal?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"But I just..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's all frosty."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Aw Crap!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackpot my friend."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Not only did I get Nancy Drew, but I also got Margot Kidder, Superman's Lois Lane, in an outfit that,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"let's just say you don't need x-ray vision to appreciate."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well get those outta here, man I'm trying to impress Brooke with my intelligence."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Here she comes."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Say Eric, this encyclopaedia of scientific terms has really taught me something."
That '70s Show (1998)
"See by lifting this encyclopaedia of scientific terms above my head,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I'm using my body's stored energy,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"also known as uranium."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Um, actually it's known as calories,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"but I do believe at some point you were exposed to radiation."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Alright look, I don't know what you have against me, but I'm not leaving here until I convince you to go out with me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"That's the man who gave me the firecrackers, Mom."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I gotta run."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You wanna check something out?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, um is there someone else who can help me? Like a man."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So you wanna check out those Playboys, or not?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, fine. I'm a man, I would like these Playboys."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, you can't have them."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I want you to get in your car, buy some flowers, give them to Donna, and thank God an actual live woman lets you touch her."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yes ma'am."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay Steven, I think I figured out a way to end this situation where everybody wins."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now, listen to this question carefully."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Is there anyone you said was hot - like Brooke, who you really don't think is hot - like Brooke?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well I could lie and say yes."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie, I'm not gonna lie."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Fine. Then y'know what, I don't know how to fix this."
That '70s Show (1998)
"'pick you battles.'"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Fine."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Steven, I don't care if you think she's hot, because that's how you really feel."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Thank you."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hey Steven, will you go to the drug store and get me a Vogue magazine?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"But I just..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's gonna melt."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Crap!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, my plan to have sex with virgins failed,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"so I've widened my search from virgins to everyone."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So, basically you're back to where you started this morning."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Not really, I had some pie."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I've done less in a day."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well Donna, turns out Brooke doesn't like intelligent men."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kelso, you didn't have sex with her man, just let it go."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Michael, I need to talk to you."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, about what?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"About our night together at the Molly Hatchet concert."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Excuse me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Burn!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Burn!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Burn, Burn!"
That '70s Show (1998)
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