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Clips from MacGruber - The Storm (S01E01)

"* *"
MacGruber
"Now he has an all-terrain vehicle."
MacGruber
"- Got another ping from Southern Command."
MacGruber
"They're requesting access to Delta files."
MacGruber
"- Approved."
MacGruber
"- Sir, you have a phone call. It's them."
MacGruber
"- Get me a secure line, Major. - Yes, sir."
MacGruber
"[phone ringing]"
MacGruber
"[suspenseful music]"
MacGruber
"- Enos Queeth, I presume?"
MacGruber
"[eerily distorted] - Oh, no, General."
MacGruber
"This is the ghost of Christmas future."
MacGruber
"And the future is looking very bright indeed."
MacGruber
"- Oh, yeah, why is that?"
MacGruber
"- Because you are about to pay me 50 billion dollars."
MacGruber
"- [whispers] 50 billion?"
MacGruber
"- What are you planning?"
MacGruber
"- Let's just say that tomorrow morning"
MacGruber
"Santa and his reindeer are going to deliver"
MacGruber
"the biggest present the world has ever seen."
MacGruber
"And if we don't get that money,"
MacGruber
"that will just be the beginning."
MacGruber
"- You know damn well the United States government"
MacGruber
"does not negotiate with terrorists."
MacGruber
"- We'll see if you still feel that way"
MacGruber
"after tomorrow morning."
MacGruber
"- Damn it, Queeth, you listen to me!"
MacGruber
"- Bye. [dial tone]"
MacGruber
"[unsettling music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Santa's starting to get on my goddamn nerves."
MacGruber
"- Well, well, well, Queeth's got himself quite the army."
MacGruber
"So we got two options."
MacGruber
"Option A, we pack up our shit and throw in the towel."
MacGruber
"Option B, we go down there and kill everything in sight."
MacGruber
"What do you say, bud?"
MacGruber
"[suspenseful music]"
MacGruber
"Looks like the nose have it."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Time to go make some widows."
MacGruber
"[suspenseful music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Smells like Queeth in here."
MacGruber
"All right."
MacGruber
"Time to hand out the party favors."
MacGruber
"[device beeping]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"[eerie music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Things that make you go boom."
MacGruber
"[device beeping]"
MacGruber
"[suspenseful music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Hope you weren't planning on not exploding tonight."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"You can dish it out, but can you take it?"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Ready to be part of throat rip history?"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- [chuckles]"
MacGruber
"The ol' reverse throat rip,"
MacGruber
"the holy grail of throat rips."
MacGruber
"And they said it couldn't be done."
MacGruber
"But we did it, didn't we, you dead piece of fucking shit?"
MacGruber
"[door squeaks] Ah."
MacGruber
"Looks like our little barbecue's about to begin."
MacGruber
"Hope you like your meat well-done."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"[dramatic music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Tonight, it begins! [rapid gunfire]"
MacGruber
"[cheering]"
MacGruber
"- Tonight, it ends."
MacGruber
"- 20 years ago, we were exiled."
MacGruber
"Spit out, left for dead."
MacGruber
"We are the forgotten."
MacGruber
"The discarded."
MacGruber
"We're ghosts."
MacGruber
"Tomorrow, the children of the world"
MacGruber
"will receive a very special present."
MacGruber
"Not a sweater."
MacGruber
"Not a Beanie Baby."
MacGruber
"Not a shiny new trike."
MacGruber
"No, this present is something far more interesting."
MacGruber
"This present..."
MacGruber
"it melts faces."
MacGruber
"It makes your eyes pour out of your sockets"
MacGruber
"like water."
MacGruber
"It closes throats, it voids bowels."
MacGruber
"Kills by the millions."
MacGruber
"And it all could've been avoided."
MacGruber
"The United States does not negotiate with patriots."
MacGruber
"Well, fuck them."
MacGruber
"[cheering]"
MacGruber
"They may have forgotten"
MacGruber
"the hell that they put us through."
MacGruber
"But tomorrow,"
MacGruber
"they will remember our names."
MacGruber
"To vengeance! [cheering]"
MacGruber
"- To vengeance."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"[rapid gunfire]"
MacGruber
"[cheering]"
MacGruber
"- Sir, there's a bogey approaching."
MacGruber
"[engine grows louder] - MacGruber."
MacGruber
"[alarm blaring]"
MacGruber
"[gunfire]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Take him out. - Fire!"
MacGruber
"[gunfire]"
MacGruber
"Hold your fire!"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"[suspenseful music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"[device beeping]"
MacGruber
"- Get back!"
MacGruber
"[device beeping]"
MacGruber
"- [screams]"
MacGruber
"- Find him!"
MacGruber
"[device beeping]"
MacGruber
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