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Clips from American Woman

"There's a cat stuck in it."
American Woman
"Hey, Cindy?"
American Woman
"Cindy!"
American Woman
"Hey, Cindy?"
American Woman
"Cindy?"
American Woman
"What? I'm over here."
American Woman
"Cindy, get over here."
American Woman
"- Paul asked me to restock. - Fuck Paul. Let's go."
American Woman
"She'll shit herself when she sees it."
American Woman
"Oh, my god."
American Woman
"Who got me this? Deb!"
American Woman
"Wait till football season starts."
American Woman
"You'll be pulling that thing out"
American Woman
"more than your wallet."
American Woman
"- Oh, my god. - I'm not wrong."
American Woman
"Uh, sorry to break this up, guys,"
American Woman
"but we've got quite the line out there."
American Woman
"You want the blueberry, Mrs. Riley?"
American Woman
"You usually get the home-style kind."
American Woman
"This is blueberry."
American Woman
"Let me go get the home-style for you, okay?"
American Woman
"Pizza!"
American Woman
"- Hey! - Hey."
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"Hey, Patrick, put this on the steps for me, will you?"
American Woman
"You're not the boss of me."
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"I'm the boss of everyone. Now put it on the steps."
American Woman
"Can I please hold Jesse?"
American Woman
"- Need a hand with anything, Deb? - No, beer's on the front steps."
American Woman
"And can I show him my new Viking battle sword?"
American Woman
"No Viking battle swords."
American Woman
"Remember what happened last time you did that?"
American Woman
"He had a bump on his head, the size of an orange."
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"No, Murph."
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"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?"
American Woman
"Put that down."
American Woman
"- Hey, Mom. - Hey, Deborah."
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"- Thanks, Terr. - Yeah."
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"Do you want to say something?"
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"- Do you? - No."
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"Okay then."
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"Looks like you got something on your mind."
American Woman
"Mm-hm."
American Woman
"Where's Bridget?"
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"Date night with dipshit."
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"I don't like that word, Deborah."
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"Oh, I don't really give a crap, Mom."
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"Well, are they at least trying to work things out"
American Woman
"- for Jesse's sake? - God, I hope not."
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"I think it would be a good idea"
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"if they tried to patch things up."
American Woman
"No one really cares what you think."
American Woman
"Haven't you learned that by now?"
American Woman
"Hey, cut it out."
American Woman
"Cut it out. Make yourself useful."
American Woman
"Get the drinks ready or something."
American Woman
"Yes, sir."
American Woman
"Idiot."
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"Goofball."
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"One on."
American Woman
"Right back in the third base! In the second base!"
American Woman
"Double play!"
American Woman
"Are you at least gonna apologize for lying about Brett?"
American Woman
"Katherine Margaret Tate,"
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"I'm truly, deeply sorry for my behavior."
American Woman
"Yeah, you really sound like it."
American Woman
"Just everything with you turns into a goddamn lesson, you know."
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"I get tired of hearing that shit after a while."
American Woman
"Do you think I want to do that?"
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"Do you think I want to look out my window"
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"- to see if he's coming over? - I don't know."
American Woman
"You do it all the time, so you must not hate it."
American Woman
"Maybe you're bored with your own life,"
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"you got to spy on mine."
American Woman
"Okay, you know what?"
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"I do it because I care about you."
American Woman
"And God forbid, Mom finds out you're going with a married man."
American Woman
"Oh, God forbid. Oh, God forbid. Amen."
American Woman
"Holy Family might kick her out of the Parish Bridge Club."
American Woman
"Or, oh, Father Cassano might not let me receive the Eucharist."
American Woman
"You haven't gone to mass in years, Deb."
American Woman
"Because they look at me like I'm some kind of leper there."
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"Remember when I was pregnant with Bridge,"
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"I used to walk in and see all of Mom's friends"
American Woman
"pointing at me whispering..."
American Woman
"...like little asshole mice."
American Woman
"Don't be so dramatic."
American Woman
"Try looking at it from the other side."
American Woman
"He's got a wife and three young children."
American Woman
"They made a commitment to each other."
American Woman
"You're living in the Stone Ages,"
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"you know that?"
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"What's that supposed to mean?"
American Woman
"What it means is, when you get to the altar,"
American Woman
"and you promise to love and honor"
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"all the days of your life, it doesn't mean what it used to."
American Woman
"Okay? It's not practical."
American Woman
"Well, worked for Terr and I, didn't it?"
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"Well, you know why it worked?"
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"Because you never experienced anything else."
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"How do you know if what you got"
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"is the best thing in the whole world?"
American Woman
"Terry."
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"Terry's dick..."
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"is the only dick you've ever seen."
American Woman
"Oh, my god."
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"Who else's?"
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"Oh, my god, Kevin Kramer."
American Woman
"Kevin Kramer?"
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"Was it as big as they say?"
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"Carrie Manfry said he had a hose."
American Woman
"Do you always have to be so crude?"
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"And what, you're proud that you slept"
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"with half the men in Delaware County?"
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"- Not proud, no. - Kath?"
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"- I'll have my coffee now. - Okay. Just a sec."
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"But I know what's good and what's not"
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"'cause I've been around a few times."
American Woman
"Oh, congratulations."
American Woman
"Okay, what if someone else came along?"
American Woman
"Someone else like Tom Selleck?"
American Woman
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