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Clips from Lucifer - BlueBallz (S05E05)

"I mean..."
Lucifer
"sure, I would love to."
Lucifer
"Oh, shit."
Lucifer
"Yeah, my ex thinks it looks gross, too."
Lucifer
"What are you doing?"
Lucifer
"What?"
Lucifer
"Oh, I finished my section."
Lucifer
"No hearing aids."
Lucifer
"So you thought you'd find one in that guy's mouth?"
Lucifer
"What about you, Maze?"
Lucifer
"Okay, you've been talking to the same person the whole time."
Lucifer
"Karen and I have had a very long and meaningful conversation."
Lucifer
"I feel connected to her already."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"And every annoying detail of her life."
Lucifer
"Oh, my God, Maze. I know what you're doing, okay?"
Lucifer
"And pretending to be me is stupid."
Lucifer
"I... I am clearly no role model."
Lucifer
"I'm just a magnet for losers."
Lucifer
"-Bitch. -See?"
Lucifer
"Well, I was just you for two full hours,"
Lucifer
"and being genuinely nice like that..."
Lucifer
"literally the hardest thing I've ever done in my life."
Lucifer
"But maybe you're right, Ella."
Lucifer
"If all you think you deserve is some loser like that..."
Lucifer
"maybe I should learn from someone else."
Lucifer
"Okay, the last girl to be checked is barfing in the stall."
Lucifer
"Some people don't know how to drink."
Lucifer
"Okay, so you've had sex with Lucifer."
Lucifer
"[spits]"
Lucifer
"Okay, um..."
Lucifer
"Yes,"
Lucifer
"but that was a long time ago."
Lucifer
"Right, I-I mean, I know he's slept with a lot of women."
Lucifer
"Tons."
Lucifer
"And men."
Lucifer
"Right, which I-I-I completely accept,"
Lucifer
"but you know, sleeping with the Devil, it must be different somehow, right?"
Lucifer
"Well, it's not like he has a forked penis or anything."
Lucifer
"Oh, he doesn't?"
Lucifer
"I mean, it's totally normal."
Lucifer
"I mean, well...  I mean, way, way above average."
Lucifer
"I mean, it's perfect."
Lucifer
"Seriously, sex with Lucifer is the last thing"
Lucifer
"you should be worried about."
Lucifer
"What you should be worried about is that he's unfathomably narcissistic,"
Lucifer
"utterly terrified of intimacy,"
Lucifer
"and sabotages everything good that ever happens to him."
Lucifer
"So essentially, he's the oldest, most immature person in the world."
Lucifer
"Nay, "universe.""
Lucifer
"[phone chimes]"
Lucifer
"I... Oh, hold on."
Lucifer
"Oh, it's Ella."
Lucifer
"Okay, so Ella says they finished checking their half of the bar."
Lucifer
"No sign of a hearing aid."
Lucifer
"Oh, shoot."
Lucifer
"If our killer isn't here, who knows where she is."
Lucifer
"So I'm going to call Lucifer and see if he still has eyes on Jed."
Lucifer
"[phone rings]"
Lucifer
"[Charlie cries]"
Lucifer
"[chuckles]"
Lucifer
"Dude, did you just throw your phone out the window?"
Lucifer
"-Mm-hmm. -Jeez, you're such a weirdo."
Lucifer
"Oh. It's Chloe."
Lucifer
"-Really? -Yeah."
Lucifer
"Hey, what's up?"
Lucifer
"That sucks."
Lucifer
"Yeah, Lucifer, he's..."
Lucifer
"Uh, I don't know."
Lucifer
"I don't know where Lucifer is right now."
Lucifer
"Yeah, yeah. I'm positive Jed's safe."
Lucifer
"Mm-hmm. Okay, bye."
Lucifer
"What the hell, man?"
Lucifer
"Well, you see, Daniel, the detective is a detective."
Lucifer
"So, I'm being a mystery."
Lucifer
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
Lucifer
"Jed explains it much better, don't you, Jed?"
Lucifer
"[Dan] Huh."
Lucifer
"Looks like you just got played, son."
Lucifer
"What are you talking about?"
Lucifer
"Jed's after Chloe. I told you to watch out for him."
Lucifer
"I mean, come on, it's obvious that he's trying to get between you two"
Lucifer
"so he can swoop right in."
Lucifer
"Jeez."
Lucifer
"I'll go see if I can catch him."
Lucifer
"[Charlie wails]"
Lucifer
"What's wrong?"
Lucifer
"I've been manipulated, brother."
Lucifer
"By that mewling little DJ."
Lucifer
"Okay, calm down, Lucy."
Lucifer
"It's bad enough when Father does it, but that little cretin!"
Lucifer
"-They could be right outside. -Good!"
Lucifer
"Jed can see who he's really playing with."
Lucifer
"-[mystical crackling] -[Charlie wails]"
Lucifer
"[growls]"
Lucifer
"-[growling intensifies] -[wailing ends]"
Lucifer
"That's odd."
Lucifer
"[Charlie cries]"
Lucifer
"Do it again, Lucy. Do it again."
Lucifer
"Yeah, yeah. Do it again."
Lucifer
"[growls]"
Lucifer
"[Charlie giggles]"
Lucifer
"-[Dan] Jed isn't out here! -Lucy, stop!"
Lucifer
"I'll call in a BOLO."
Lucifer
"Who knows where he went."
Lucifer
"I'll find him."
Lucifer
"-[Charlie cries] -Jed may have manipulated you, brother,"
Lucifer
"but you let him."
Lucifer
"You're right, I suppose."
Lucifer
"Also, I need you to help me to get Charlie to stop crying."
Lucifer
"[growls]"
Lucifer
"It's just ringing. [clears throat]"
Lucifer
"I'll just try him again."
Lucifer
"You know what?"
Lucifer
"This is so selfish."
Lucifer
"-Yeah. -I don't know, what, is he ghosting me?"
Lucifer
"What's up, everybody!"
Lucifer
"[crowd cheers]"
Lucifer
"This song goes out to a special lady."
Lucifer
"Cherry Jane, this one's for you."
Lucifer
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