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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Basically Pluto (S01E01)

"[Blair] What's his deal?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Public masturbator."
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"Eww. Save that for the bathtub."
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"Or the car, if traffic's really bad."
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"Sick! You do that in the car?"
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"Um, my body is a temple."
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"And the car is a temple on wheels."
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"So, you're a temple in a moving temple?"
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"Don't shame me."
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"You're turning down all my damn skips today."
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"Are you forgetting I'm your boss?"
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"I'm the head chef. You're the little waiter dude."
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"You can't decide what food to dish out."
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"Yolanda, these skips are bullshit."
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"I got a feeling you're giving Terrance the Clown all the good jobs."
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"I don't care about your feelings. I care about recouping my money."
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"-Terrance delivers. -Oh, please-- [scoffs]"
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"Anything else?"
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"I've got a big one,"
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"but I'm not sure if Eeyore here is up for the challenge."
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"And I'm out a shit ton for her."
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"Kendra Saint John."
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"Fancy. Sounds like a countess!"
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"Good day, Countess Saint John."
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"So, this chick's a scammer."
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"She throws jewelry parties and claims it's high-end product,"
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"but it's actually just tin spray painted in gold."
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"By the time the victims figure it out, she skips town, changes her name,"
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"does it all over again."
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"Her focus is niche groups."
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"Her last venture, "F Everything," was targeted at anarchists."
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"Anarchists buying matching bracelets? Uh-uh."
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"The product was a chain that connects nose ring to belt to nose ring."
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"But what if you stand up really fast and then you pull your nose?"
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"[Sterling and Blair groan]"
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"No wonder they're so angry."
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"Currently, she's running a Christian-based scam."
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"The company's called Jewels of the Magi."
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"Using the Lord like that!"
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"Yeah, that feels rude."
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"Like, biblically rude."
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"Okay, any intel on places she frequents?"
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"The local precinct might have some"
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"if you'd get over yourself and go down there."
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"You trying to play games with me?"
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"I don't play games."
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"And if I was playing games, I'd win."
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"I'm in better shape and I cheat."
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"Uh..."
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"Stop fighting, Mom and Dad. I don't wanna work with the cops."
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"-Okay? Their squeaky pants scare me. -[Bowser] Well, don't worry."
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"We don't work with cops. Ever."
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"Mm."
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"Company policy."
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"Wow, I just realized, in this very moment,"
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"that old people are super dramatic."
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"-Who are you calling old? -I am not dramatic!"
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"Okay, so, what's the plan here?"
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"Should we tell her that we're throwing one of her little party thingies"
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"and give her the Yogurtopia address?"
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"-Good idea! -[Yolanda] Hell, no!"
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"No way she's gonna buy that some rich white ladies live around here."
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"You need a home address"
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"in a one percent kind of neighborhood."
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"[women chattering]"
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"I hope you have more than just that one little bottle."
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"[chuckles]"
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"Yes, not to worry, Charlotte."
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"-We are overflowing with wine. -Mm."
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"You know... and crab puffs."
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"You should eat something."
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"Lynn! Oh."
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"How are you?"
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"Great! Your house looks fantastic."
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"That new wallpaper is to die for."
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"-I love it! -Oh, wow! Thank you."
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"Yeah, it just felt like time for a refresh."
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"[both chuckle]"
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"-That stupid book. -Oh."
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"I stopped when the neighbor found the clue in the vacuum."
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"I couldn't finish it either."
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"I'm so glad to be here."
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"Vernon left for his hunting trip today."
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"Oh."
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"You know Anderson is out on the lease, too."
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"What is it with these boys and their guns?"
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"I don't know, but maybe with all of them out in the wild,"
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"they'll shoot each other and save us the misery."
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"Right, excuse me."
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"Sterling, honey, what's going on?"
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"I thought you were refreshing sparkling waters"
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"and Blair was doing the hors d'oeuvres. Please do not confuse the duties."
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"I finished refreshing the waters, so I just grabbed the puffs."
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"Just taking initiative, Mommy."
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"And I can help pour wine, too."
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"Lord, no, them seeing you cozied up with a bottle?"
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"Honey, that is the last thing we need."
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"I'll handle the wine. [clears throat]"
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"Mom's happy."
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"She's happy."
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"Do you think she's happy?"
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"[groans] Mrs. Burton told her that the guest towels were beautifully crisp."
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"-[sighs] -She'll be high on that till Christmas."
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"Yeah. Okay."
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"[cell phone bleeps]"
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"[Miles] Surprise!"
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"[gasps] Babe! What are you doing here?"
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"-Oh. -[giggles]"
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"You know how we never get to see each other?"
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"-Mm-hm. -I'm fixing that."
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"Oh, I'm so happy!"
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"Seeing you on a Sunday afternoon, what a luxury!"
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"But... [groans] damn it, I can't really hang right now."
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"I'm kinda helping my mom with her book club."
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"No, I know. I'm the valet."
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"You're what now?"
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"I overheard your mom talking about it at the club,"
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"and I offered my services."
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"So, now I get to see my girl and make some bread."
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"-Wow. -[chuckles]"
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