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Clips from United States of Al (2021) - Shorts/Neykar (S01E01)

"Please don't make this a big deal."
United States of Al (2021)
"Too late. You made it one."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm just asking you to wear pants"
United States of Al (2021)
"and long sleeves around the house."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, if that's the deal,"
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm asking you to wear a tutu and clown shoes."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, let's just start over."
United States of Al (2021)
"Good idea. Get out of my room."
United States of Al (2021)
"I just... No."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah..."
United States of Al (2021)
"Still thinking about those legs?"
United States of Al (2021)
"They were so smooth"
United States of Al (2021)
"and they smelled like coconuts."
United States of Al (2021)
"Wait till you see boobs."
United States of Al (2021)
"Your head's gonna fall off your shoulders."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, uh,"
United States of Al (2021)
"just so you know, I had a little talk with Lizzie"
United States of Al (2021)
"and told her that some of her clothes"
United States of Al (2021)
"might make you uncomfortable."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, I wish you had not done that.Relax."
United States of Al (2021)
"She hasn't done anything I've asked her to do"
United States of Al (2021)
"since she was a little girl, and I told her "jalapeño""
United States of Al (2021)
"was Spanish for candy."
United States of Al (2021)
"Riley, I do not want your sister to think I believe"
United States of Al (2021)
"women should cover their legs."
United States of Al (2021)
"You don't?"
United States of Al (2021)
"No! I want to see their legs."
United States of Al (2021)
"What fool would not like to see a woman's legs?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I can think of one fool"
United States of Al (2021)
"who put a giant dent in the back of my truck."
United States of Al (2021)
"Riley, you spent all that time"
United States of Al (2021)
"training for battle.Uh-huh."
United States of Al (2021)
"But the first time someone shot at you,"
United States of Al (2021)
"were you ready?"
United States of Al (2021)
"No."
United States of Al (2021)
"And it was different than a movie."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, I see what you mean."
United States of Al (2021)
"You just got to get used to it."
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ooh, we might want to get on that fast."
United States of Al (2021)
"Summer's coming.What do you mean?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Google "Daisy Dukes.""
United States of Al (2021)
"They go shorter?!"
United States of Al (2021)
"Hello, Mr. Art."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey! How you doing?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I have been better."
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, listen, don't feel bad."
United States of Al (2021)
"You know, this one time"
United States of Al (2021)
"I was, um, walking down the street,"
United States of Al (2021)
"saw this attractive woman."
United States of Al (2021)
"Real nice, you know. Eh."
United States of Al (2021)
"Don't want to say anything to upset you, but..."
United States of Al (2021)
"Let's just say she had big cans."
United States of Al (2021)
"So I'm staring at her, and I don't notice"
United States of Al (2021)
"there's an open cellar door in the sidewalk."
United States of Al (2021)
"I tumble in, land on a pallet of peaches."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm too embarrassed to come out,"
United States of Al (2021)
"so I just lie there a while, you know..."
United States of Al (2021)
"Finally, I figure the coast is clear."
United States of Al (2021)
"So I crawl out, and that's when I realize"
United States of Al (2021)
"both my legs are broken."
United States of Al (2021)
"Al, the point is don't feel bad."
United States of Al (2021)
"And don't eat more than three or four peaches at a time."
United States of Al (2021)
"You'll pay for it later."
United States of Al (2021)
"I am sorry for bringing problems into your home."
United States of Al (2021)
"I cannot help but feel that I am a bad guest."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, whoa, whoa, let's get something straight here, okay?"
United States of Al (2021)
"You are not a guest. You're family."
United States of Al (2021)
"Thank you."
United States of Al (2021)
"I am afraid that I have offended Lizzie."
United States of Al (2021)
"So what?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, I am afraid that"
United States of Al (2021)
"Riley offended Lizzie on my behalf."
United States of Al (2021)
"That I would put ten bucks on."
United States of Al (2021)
"I think I better go straighten things out."
United States of Al (2021)
"All right, suit yourself."
United States of Al (2021)
"I think I have some peach schnapps."
United States of Al (2021)
"Come in."
United States of Al (2021)
"AL: Uh, could you please come out?"
United States of Al (2021)
"What?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I would like to talk to you."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay. Come in."
United States of Al (2021)
"No, thank you."
United States of Al (2021)
"Suit yourself."
United States of Al (2021)
"Wh-Where I grew up, being in a single woman's bedroom"
United States of Al (2021)
"would be disrespectful to her father."
United States of Al (2021)
"Not to worry, my father doesn't respect me."
United States of Al (2021)
"It's just a room."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hmm. Very nice."
United States of Al (2021)
"Thank you."
United States of Al (2021)
"What are you drawing?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah, nothing."
United States of Al (2021)
"Lizzie..."
United States of Al (2021)
"at dinner you said I was a hypocrite."
United States of Al (2021)
"You were right."
United States of Al (2021)
"For me, wearing shorts is no big deal,"
United States of Al (2021)
"but seeing a woman wearing them is."
United States of Al (2021)
"And that is a double standard."
United States of Al (2021)
"It sure is."
United States of Al (2021)
"And perhaps I was being unfair to myself."
United States of Al (2021)
"Maybe my legs can inspire lust."
United States of Al (2021)
"Maybe."
United States of Al (2021)
"But I want you to understand,"
United States of Al (2021)
"I would never tell you how to dress."
United States of Al (2021)
"That is what the Taliban does,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and I spent years fighting them."
United States of Al (2021)
"Of course you did. How could I forget that?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, do not blame yourself, even I lose track of"
United States of Al (2021)
"all the great things I've done."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm sorry I judged you at dinner."
United States of Al (2021)
"That was not fair."
United States of Al (2021)
"Thank you."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do you want to know something else about me?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Always."
United States of Al (2021)
"Until I walked into this room,"
United States of Al (2021)
"I had never seen a woman lying on a bed before."
United States of Al (2021)
"Really?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Really."
United States of Al (2021)
"That is so hard for me to wrap my head around."
United States of Al (2021)
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