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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Haley's 21st Birthday (S06E06)

"As serious as bert and ernie."
Modern Family (2009)
"It was supposed to be such a great moment for me as a dad."
Modern Family (2009)
"I was gonna walk into that bar,"
Modern Family (2009)
"Give my daughter her new car keys, and say, "honey..."
Modern Family (2009)
"Chug that drink. We're going for a spin.""
Modern Family (2009)
"[ chuckles ] huh."
Modern Family (2009)
"Phil, put these in your purse."
Modern Family (2009)
"I just beat your unbeatable deal by 500 samolians."
Modern Family (2009)
"Stick that in your internet."
Modern Family (2009)
"What? This guy's a bulldog. He wore me down."
Modern Family (2009)
"Don't be too hard on yourself. You never stood a chance."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn honks ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Wow! Thank you, jay."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hop in. I'll give you a walk-through."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. [ laughs ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Some more good news for you -- your father-in-law"
Modern Family (2009)
"Also talked me into two years of free satellite radio."
Modern Family (2009)
"Of course he did. The guy's always one-upping me."
Modern Family (2009)
"I work for months getting the best deal."
Modern Family (2009)
"He walks in, bullies you down, and proves what a pushover I am."
Modern Family (2009)
"Let me just show you this horn. Why? Did he get an upgrade on --"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn blaring ] my father-in-law can be a jerk, too, so I got to say something."
Modern Family (2009)
"You got a much better deal than he got."
Modern Family (2009)
"Some horn, huh?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn honks ] what?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn blaring ] he came groveling into my office"
Modern Family (2009)
"And begged me to lie and say that he got the better price, but he paid me the difference."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn honking ] how much more did he pay?"
Modern Family (2009)
"$1,000."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, my god, he really cares what I think about him."
Modern Family (2009)
"More than you know. That is one beautiful man."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey, dumbass, enough with the horn, huh?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn honks ] I love you, too!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh! Uh, the tattooing --"
Modern Family (2009)
"It does really hurt."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't think I drank enough."
Modern Family (2009)
"Huh. So, a couple of firsts tonight."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, what should we get?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh... [ sighs ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"It needs to be something important to us."
Modern Family (2009)
"I-is nelson mandela still in jail."
Modern Family (2009)
"I think it should be something just a little more personal."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, what about lilies for lily?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Flowers?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Be faster just to get the word "gay.""
Modern Family (2009)
"I hope everybody's ready! So beautiful."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, check it, losers."
Modern Family (2009)
"I am all tatted up. [ laughs ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Ay, I'm so proud of you. I can't believe you did this."
Modern Family (2009)
"I know! I know! I know!"
Modern Family (2009)
"It's very sexy. Very nice. Gloria: Yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, it is sanskrit for "mother.""
Modern Family (2009)
"And haley's gonna get one that says "daughter.""
Modern Family (2009)
"[ high-pitched voice ] well..."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, what?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ normal voice ] it's just, um,"
Modern Family (2009)
"I-I'm not totally sure I'm not bailing."
Modern Family (2009)
"No. No, you're not."
Modern Family (2009)
"But it just looks super painful,"
Modern Family (2009)
"A-a-and this is nothing to do with you,"
Modern Family (2009)
"But I don't think I want a tattoo when I have old skin."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ chuckles ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Haley, if you don't get "daughter,""
Modern Family (2009)
"It's gonna look like I did this for my mother,"
Modern Family (2009)
"And then I'm gonna have to saw my leg off."
Modern Family (2009)
"Or you could just add to it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey, what's sanskrit for "issues"?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Haley, come on. You're up. Let's go."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't know, mom. It's --"
Modern Family (2009)
"Now that I see it, it's so permanent."
Modern Family (2009)
"Young lady, I swear to god I will spank you."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ horn honks ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"No, my god! Is that for me?!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Happy birthday, sweetheart!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Thank you so much! I love it!"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ both laugh ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Please tell me you didn't get a tattoo."
Modern Family (2009)
"No, but talk to mom, 'cause she's trying to make me."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, it's so cute! Can I take it for a ride?! Of course!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Lily: When I grow up, I want to have kids."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're not going anywhere. You've been drinking tonight."
Modern Family (2009)
"Only 'cause you made me."
Modern Family (2009)
"What are you trying to do to her?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Lily: Well, first, I want a perfect husband..."
Modern Family (2009)
"How about you guys? Come on."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're gonna get your tattoo, right?"
Modern Family (2009)
"We realized we don't need one to be cool."
Modern Family (2009)
"It seems sort of desperate."
Modern Family (2009)
"But yours is cute."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ high-pitched voice ] super cute! Yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"Lily: ...Someone who takes care of me."
Modern Family (2009)
"Ay, jay. I'm tired. I'm hungry. Take me home."
Modern Family (2009)
"Come on. We'll get you a big bowl of loco-puffs."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ chuckles ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Lily: And then we're gonna make a baby..."
Modern Family (2009)
"Haley: [ laughs ] oh, my gosh!"
Modern Family (2009)
"...Which is easy."
Modern Family (2009)
"You just put eggs and tadpoles in a glass,"
Modern Family (2009)
"And the woman has to drink it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Then, the woman and man kiss and jump on their bed."
Modern Family (2009)
"After a year, she pees, and a baby comes out."
Modern Family (2009)
"Wow. Oh, my god. Okay, then."
Modern Family (2009)
"Now that claire has a tattoo,"
Modern Family (2009)
"I can finally get one of my own! [ sighs ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"So, I've been trying to think of a phrase"
Modern Family (2009)
"That sums up the way I live my life."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't think small. I don't do things halfway."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm not afraid of taking risks."
Modern Family (2009)
"So, then, I was trying to think of the perfect place to put it, you know?"
Modern Family (2009)
"You don't want to put it"
Modern Family (2009)
"On a-a body part that's gonna wrinkle or -- or sag too much,"
Modern Family (2009)
"And you don't want it in someplace"
Modern Family (2009)
"Where if you're wearing a suit it would show. True."
Modern Family (2009)
"So, on my lower back, I will put the words"
Modern Family (2009)
""go deep." bam."
Modern Family (2009)
"Think about it. I heard it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. Um..."
Modern Family (2009)
""do it." no. Mnh-mnh."
Modern Family (2009)
""all-in.""
Modern Family (2009)
"No! No, phil. Oh!"
Modern Family (2009)
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