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Clips from The Resort - Tempus Exhaurire (S01E01)

"- And why would I think that?"
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"[light ambient music]"
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"- I just saw a picture of a penis"
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"on my girlfriend's phone."
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"And it definitely wasn't my penis"
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"because I've never taken a picture of it."
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"She's apparently been cheating on me with one"
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"of her professors, so I guess it was just, like,"
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"a old professor penis."
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"And I don't know how I could tell that."
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"It's not like they get--"
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"they don't get rings around them"
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"like some sort of penis tree."
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"I hear myself saying "penis" a lot"
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"and I--that's not--I don't wanna seem fixated on that."
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"She has no idea I know, and I haven't broken up"
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"with her yet because we've been together so long,"
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"I have no idea how to even approach that conversation,"
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"and on top of that, we're currently on a family vacation,"
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"sharing a hotel room with my parents,"
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"and there's also the possibility"
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"that none of that matters at all"
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"and I'm just scared and sad."
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"And I didn't mean to come up and ramble to you"
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"and say penis a whole bunch of times."
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"I just wanted you to know the.."
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"situation."
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"I won't bother you again."
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"- Hey, how's your neck?"
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"- Oh, good. Thanks."
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"- Why don't you take this?"
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"I think you need it more than I do."
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"- Thanks. - Yeah."
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"* *"
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"How's my glue job holding up?"
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"- That turned out pretty good, I think."
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"I mean, it itches a little, but..."
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"- In success it's gonna look like this one."
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"- Oh, that looks horrible."
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"- What?"
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"- Who did that? - A hockey stick."
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"- No, no, like the glue job itself is really scary."
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"- My dad did it."
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"- Like, it's, like, off-putting."
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"- No, he did a great job."
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"- If you had shown that to me,"
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"I would've run to the hospital."
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"- I suggested the hospital."
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"It was the first thing I..."
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"Did you find your skateboard?"
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"- Uh, no."
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"No, it's not looking too good."
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"- [laughs]"
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"I'm sure it'll turn up."
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"- At least your drink is helping with the pain."
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"- Give me that."
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"* *"
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"[laughs]"
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"When do you leave?"
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"- In two days, then home."
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"- Where's home? - Mm, sorting that one out."
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"Detroit."
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"- That's far from me."
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"San Diego. - Ah."
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"Well, guess we'll never see each other."
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"- Wait, well, what do you got going on tomorrow?"
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"- Um, I have plans."
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"What about tonight?"
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"Oliver invited me to the staff Christmas party."
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"- Yeah? You think he's okay with you bringing me to that?"
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"- Well, if he's not, then I'll ditch you."
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"You wanna meet at the iguana painting?"
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"- Sure. - 10:30?"
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"- Yeah, okay. - Yeah."
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"Cool, say hi to the professor fucker for me."
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"Yeah? - I--I'll do that. Thank you."
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"- [laughs]"
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"- It's an end of an umbrella"
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"that it sharpened out."
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"- Okay, they said it's the best so you have to try it."
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"- No. - Dad."
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"- Vi, no, no. - Come on."
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"Just a bite. - No, thank you."
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"Octopus is an intelligent animal."
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"- It tastes like a Band-Aid."
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"- Well, folks..."
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"- Oh, maybe stick with the Philadelphia roll."
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"- Your mom loved those."
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"[clears throat]"
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"[soft music]"
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"* *"
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"So, Squirt,"
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"I was thinking maybe we could take a little trip tomorrow."
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"Maybe check out some ruins or a cenote."
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"- Um, I already made plans."
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"* *"
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"- Okay."
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"- I, um..."
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"I met a guy."
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"He was skateboarding and crashed into a palm tree,"
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"and I had to superglue his head together, and, um..."
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"- [laughs] - We have a date tonight."
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"- [laughs]"
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"That's a lot of information."
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"Did you use my glue?"
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"- Yeah."
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"- You did my thing? [laughs]"
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"Did you replace it?"
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"- No."
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"I put it back in the bag."
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"[both laugh]"
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"- That sounds about right."
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"- What about Saturday?"
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"- Yeah, Saturday sounds great."
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"* *"
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"- Um, Dad, can I--"
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"can--can I--can I go?"
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"I'll explain it later. I just..."
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"- Okay, yeah, sure. - It's okay?"
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"- Yeah, go. - Okay."
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