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Clips from Cheers - Diamond Sam (S05E05)

Conjoined. Conjoined.

"Conjoined. Conjoined."

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Uh...

"Uh..."

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Uh, diane and i, Uh, would like you

"Uh, diane and i, Uh, would like you"

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To celebrate with us By, uh, toasting Our nuptials.

"To celebrate with us By, uh, toasting Our nuptials."

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Ouch.

"Ouch."

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No, no, woody. That's, uh...

"No, no, woody. That's, uh..."

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What sam So eloquently expressed

"What sam So eloquently expressed"

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Was that he and i Have officially

"Was that he and i Have officially"

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Become engaged To be married.

"Become engaged To be married."

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How 'bout that, Al, huh?

"How 'bout that, Al, huh?"

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Ah, married, sam. I thought you said

"Ah, married, sam. I thought you said"

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You'd never marry diane.

"You'd never marry diane."

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Well, i--i never, uh, Said that exactly.

"Well, i--i never, uh, Said that exactly."

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Oh, no, i think The exact words were,

"Oh, no, i think The exact words were,"

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"I'd rather have Every hair on my body,

""I'd rather have Every hair on my body,"

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Pulled out Simultaneously."

"Pulled out Simultaneously.""

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Well, that's just An expression.

"Well, that's just An expression."

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I mean...

"I mean..."

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No, seriously, You know, i--

"No, seriously, You know, i--"

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We all knew it was gonna Happen sooner or later.

"We all knew it was gonna Happen sooner or later."

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I just thought I'd get it over with.

"I just thought I'd get it over with."

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Well, diane, sam, Congratulations To both of you.

"Well, diane, sam, Congratulations To both of you."

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Diane, i hope you're Planning to stay

"Diane, i hope you're Planning to stay"

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For the entire Ceremony this time. Ours was--

"For the entire Ceremony this time. Ours was--"

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Ours was very Touching, i thought.

"Ours was very Touching, i thought."

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Ah, well, another one Bites the matrimonial dust.

"Ah, well, another one Bites the matrimonial dust."

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I guess that leaves Only one stud

"I guess that leaves Only one stud"

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To satisfy all the babes In this bar.

"To satisfy all the babes In this bar."

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Hey, i can Handle it, too.

"Hey, i can Handle it, too."

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Hi.

"Hi."

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I bet you never thought You'd see the day, huh?

"I bet you never thought You'd see the day, huh?"

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Nice shirt, sam. Is it new?

"Nice shirt, sam. Is it new?"

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No, it's not, uh...

"No, it's not, uh..."

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Did you hear What i said up there

"Did you hear What i said up there"

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About me and diane Getting engaged?

"About me and diane Getting engaged?"

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The beer distributor called. He wanted to know

"The beer distributor called. He wanted to know"

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If he can change The delivery day To wednesday.

"If he can change The delivery day To wednesday."

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Carla, i know That we haven't always Seen eye to eye,

"Carla, i know That we haven't always Seen eye to eye,"

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But you could at least Wish us well.

"But you could at least Wish us well."

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I need a draft.

"I need a draft."

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Fascinating.

"Fascinating."

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She's experiencing Denial.

"She's experiencing Denial."

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What's that mean, Dr. Crane?

"What's that mean, Dr. Crane?"

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Well, simply put...

"Well, simply put..."

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It means That the human mind

"It means That the human mind"

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Blocks out that Which it cannot Emotionally accept.

"Blocks out that Which it cannot Emotionally accept."

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Well, what's that Mean, dr. Crane?

"Well, what's that Mean, dr. Crane?"

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It means that you don't Understand this,

"It means that you don't Understand this,"

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And you never will.

"And you never will."

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Ah.

"Ah."

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I think perhaps I should get personally Involved in this.

"I think perhaps I should get personally Involved in this."

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And after all, carla Is a good friend.

"And after all, carla Is a good friend."

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I think i could Help her alleviate Her suffering.

"I think i could Help her alleviate Her suffering."

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Besides, there's Nothing good on tv.

"Besides, there's Nothing good on tv."

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So i don't see A ring here.

"So i don't see A ring here."

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What gives, You guys, huh?

"What gives, You guys, huh?"

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Well, we're, uh, doing A little window shopping,

"Well, we're, uh, doing A little window shopping,"

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But she's got her eye On a big old diamond

"But she's got her eye On a big old diamond"

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In the window of, uh, Barton and lyle.

"In the window of, uh, Barton and lyle."

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Oh, no, no, sam.

"Oh, no, no, sam."

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Now, that's Much too expensive.

"Now, that's Much too expensive."

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I would be content

"I would be content"

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With any one of The smaller stones We saw today.

"With any one of The smaller stones We saw today."

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Aww, now, wait a second.

"Aww, now, wait a second."

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Hey, woody, Give me the phone There, will ya?

"Hey, woody, Give me the phone There, will ya?"

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Listen, you might as well Have the best ring.

"Listen, you might as well Have the best ring."

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You got the best husband.

"You got the best husband."

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Hmm?

"Hmm?"

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Any wonder I love you?

"Any wonder I love you?"

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I'm twice blessed.

"I'm twice blessed."

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I'm getting The most Wonderful guy,

"I'm getting The most Wonderful guy,"

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And one hell Of a rock.

"And one hell Of a rock."

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Yeah, let me, uh...

"Yeah, let me, uh..."

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Let me find out Just how much This thing is.

"Let me find out Just how much This thing is."

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Yeah, there You go, sammy.

"Yeah, there You go, sammy."

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Beats "a rock."

"Beats "a rock.""

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Hi, uh, you got a ring In the window there By the door.

"Hi, uh, you got a ring In the window there By the door."

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It's a big diamond With 2 little diamonds On either side there.

"It's a big diamond With 2 little diamonds On either side there."

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Yeah, uh, That's the one.

"Yeah, uh, That's the one."

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Yeah, how much Does that cost?

"Yeah, how much Does that cost?"

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Ha ha ha ha ha!

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

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How much?

"How much?"

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5,200.

"5,200."

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[All laugh]

"[All laugh]"

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Whoa, what am i Gonna do here?

"Whoa, what am i Gonna do here?"

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I have bruce.

"I have bruce."

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What?

"What?"

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A friend of mine in The jewelry business.

"A friend of mine in The jewelry business."

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He buys diamonds And gold wholesale

"He buys diamonds And gold wholesale"

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And then You don't have To pay the markup.

"And then You don't have To pay the markup."

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It's like A zillion percent.

"It's like A zillion percent."

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Ah, you know, That's kinda silly--

"Ah, you know, That's kinda silly--"

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No, It's the same gold, Same diamonds.

"No, It's the same gold, Same diamonds."

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Well, if it's the same ring, It's the same ring, isn't it?

"Well, if it's the same ring, It's the same ring, isn't it?"

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Absolutely. Give me the phone.

"Absolutely. Give me the phone."

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All right. Now, go on, Do it, do it.

"All right. Now, go on, Do it, do it."

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Uh, sam, i don't think That's a good idea.

"Uh, sam, i don't think That's a good idea."

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Why not?

"Why not?"

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Diane's not the kind Of woman who'd like To find out

"Diane's not the kind Of woman who'd like To find out"

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That her ring was bought From a jeweler

"That her ring was bought From a jeweler"

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Who begins every transaction With "psst! Buddy."

"Who begins every transaction With "psst! Buddy.""

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Oh, no, you make--

"Oh, no, you make--"

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You're making it sound Worse than it is.

"You're making it sound Worse than it is."

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I mean, i'm sure Everything's legit.

"I mean, i'm sure Everything's legit."

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All right, Fine, bruce. Great.

"All right, Fine, bruce. Great."

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[Softly] psst! Sammy, come here.

"[Softly] psst! Sammy, come here."

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* Dee-dah *

"* Dee-dah *"

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Huh? Not bad For 1,200 bucks.

"Huh? Not bad For 1,200 bucks."

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Yeah, i'll say.

"Yeah, i'll say."

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Ohh. Carla, you, Uh, see the ring

"Ohh. Carla, you, Uh, see the ring"

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That sammy got For diane here?

"That sammy got For diane here?"

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You know, I'm thinking about

"You know, I'm thinking about"

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Having my house Texture coated.

"Having my house Texture coated."

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You have your choice Of 24 decorator colors.

"You have your choice Of 24 decorator colors."

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Amazing.

"Amazing."

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Yeah, and surprisingly Reasonable.

"Yeah, and surprisingly Reasonable."

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Oh, hey, hey, hey.

"Oh, hey, hey, hey."

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Hey, guys, wanna see A classic here?

"Hey, guys, wanna see A classic here?"

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Watch this.

"Watch this."

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Hi, diane.

"Hi, diane."

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