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Clips from Lucifer - Super Bad Boyfriend (S04E04)

"But if you really want to know how humans raise their children,"
Lucifer
"maybe you should, I don't know, ask them."
Lucifer
"That's actually not bad advice."
Lucifer
"And as for being the child's godfather, trust me, brother,"
Lucifer
"the biggest favor I can do you and the child"
Lucifer
"is to stay as far away as possible."
Lucifer
"[sighs]"
Lucifer
"[Dan] Hey, Ella."
Lucifer
"Oh, hey, Dan."
Lucifer
"So what's up?"
Lucifer
"Nothing. Crime scene stuff."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Cool."
Lucifer
"So, about the other--"
Lucifer
"Yeah, I wanted to--"
Lucifer
"-Me too. -It was--"
Lucifer
"-Totally-- -But, you know..."
Lucifer
"-Working together. -Crossing lines."
Lucifer
"Bodies crossing."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Maybe we shouldn't."
Lucifer
"No, we shouldn't."
Lucifer
"-Cool. -Cool."
Lucifer
"I'm so glad we could talk about this  like adults."
Lucifer
"-Yeah, okay. -Cool."
Lucifer
"[bump] Oh, sorry. I'm just..."
Lucifer
"Okay."
Lucifer
"[Father Kinley] When the devil walks the earth"
Lucifer
"and finds his first love..."
Lucifer
"evil shall be released."
Lucifer
"Everything alright, detective? Did I do something wrong, per usual?"
Lucifer
"Perhaps I should check myself  into detention whilst I'm here."
Lucifer
"Permanently."
Lucifer
"No. Everything's fine."
Lucifer
"[Chloe] Hey, guys."
Lucifer
"Oh, hey, Lucifer."
Lucifer
"Hey, Dan's ex-wife. Ex-wife."
Lucifer
"I mean-- I mean Chloe."
Lucifer
"So what do we have?"
Lucifer
"-[Ella] This is Sandra Baez... -[Dan] The victim is-- Yeah."
Lucifer
"[both] She was 32 years old... and a history teacher."
Lucifer
"Whatever's happening here is undoubtedly somehow my fault."
Lucifer
"-[Ella] Er... -Maybe you-- I'm sorry."
Lucifer
"Nothing. We're all good."
Lucifer
"-We're totally cool. -All good."
Lucifer
"In fact, the janitor,  he's the guy who found the body..."
Lucifer
"claims that Miss Baez, every morning, jogs the track,"
Lucifer
"showers and then she heads to class."
Lucifer
"[Ella] And apparently someone ambushed her as she was getting dressed."
Lucifer
"And do we have a cause of death?"
Lucifer
"Cause of death is a blunt force trauma to the head."
Lucifer
"It turns out that Miss Baez was a faculty adviser."
Lucifer
"-Yeah, she was. -To YEA."
Lucifer
"[Ella] Uh, YEA is Youth Academy of American Entrepreneurs."
Lucifer
"The club met last night,"
Lucifer
"so probably the last people  to see her alive."
Lucifer
"[Lucifer] Right, thank you."
Lucifer
"[whispers] Lucifer."
Lucifer
"Can I talk to you?"
Lucifer
"Right now."
Lucifer
"Sure."
Lucifer
"[Chloe] Okay, well..."
Lucifer
"I need to tell you something."
Lucifer
"I'm all ears. Or horns, rather."
Lucifer
"I went to see Father Kinley."
Lucifer
"Oh. Did you now?"
Lucifer
"[laughs] Conjuring up more ways  to send me back to hell, are we?"
Lucifer
"No. No."
Lucifer
"Father Kinley had been asking to see me, so I finally went and..."
Lucifer
"he told me about..."
Lucifer
"a prophecy."
Lucifer
"[laughs]"
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"What is it this time? Are frogs  about to start falling from the sky or..."
Lucifer
"perhaps winter is coming."
Lucifer
"All of this celestial stuff,  it is new to me."
Lucifer
"I don't know what is good and bad,"
Lucifer
"what is real and fake."
Lucifer
"But what he said..."
Lucifer
"It scared me."
Lucifer
"Well, come on then, detective. What did he say?"
Lucifer
"He said,"
Lucifer
""When the devil walks the earth and finds his first love..."
Lucifer
"evil shall be released.""
Lucifer
"[sighs]"
Lucifer
"Well, this is wonderful news."
Lucifer
"-It sounds kind of bad. -Oh, it's bad. It's bad, but..."
Lucifer
"it explains why I'm changing."
Lucifer
"Wait up..."
Lucifer
"listen, if this prophecy were to actually come true..."
Lucifer
"[breathes shakily]"
Lucifer
"What then? Would there be demons  running around?"
Lucifer
"Nothing of the sort."
Lucifer
"But let's not get bogged down  in specifics,"
Lucifer
"because none of that will matter if I can stop the prophecy altogether."
Lucifer
"-How? -Well, clearly the first part,"
Lucifer
"when the devil walks the earth, has happened,"
Lucifer
"because hello, here is me, walking the earth."
Lucifer
"-Yeah. -And since Eve was my first girlfriend,"
Lucifer
"then she's..."
Lucifer
"-Your first love. -Exactly."
Lucifer
"So to stop evil being released,  all I need to do is, drum roll, please..."
Lucifer
"[loudly] Break up with Eve!"
Lucifer
"So there you have it."
Lucifer
"I mean, usually these prophecies  turn out to be gobbledegook, but..."
Lucifer
"this one seems legit. [sighs]"
Lucifer
"So..."
Lucifer
"Wow. [gasps, sighs]"
Lucifer
"I had a feeling..."
Lucifer
"[panting]"
Lucifer
"or maybe I just knew all along."
Lucifer
"-Knew what? -That you love me!"
Lucifer
"[laughs]"
Lucifer
"[laughs]"
Lucifer
"Right. And how exactly  did you end up there?"
Lucifer
"The prophecy, silly."
Lucifer
"I mean, if you believe it to be true then, "When the devil walks the earth"
Lucifer
"and meets his first love," means you consider me to be your..."
Lucifer
"first love."
Lucifer
"Ergo!"
Lucifer
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