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Clips from Home Movies - Impressions (S02E02)

"TYPING TEST MODEL, PAULA. WHY?"
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"I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T TEST WELL, OK?"
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"I JUST DON'T--"
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"OH, PAULA, I DON'T TEST WELL."
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"LIFE IS A TEST."
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"LIFE IS A TEST."
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"I WAS PARALYZED WITH FEAR, THOUGH."
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"BUT TO CHEAT ON YOUR TEST..."
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"I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU."
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"I JUST--I'M SPEECHLESS."
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"I--I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW."
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"LET ME TAKE OVER, JIM."
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"CHEATING ON YOUR TEST, PAULA?"
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"WHAT ARE YOU-- HOW DO YOU SUGGEST"
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"WE DEAL WITH YOU, HUH?"
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"LOOK, I JUST--I--"
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"DA, DA, DA, DA. LIFE IS A TEST, PAULA."
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"YEAH, HE JUST SAID THAT."
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"A TEST OF MORALS, AND YOU KNOW, TODAY,"
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"WELL, YOU--PAULA?"
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"I'M SORRY, JIM."
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"I CAN'T--I CAN'T GET THROUGH TO HER."
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"SHE'S TOO FAR GONE."
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"TOO FAR GONE? LOOK, YOU MORONS!"
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"YOU GUYS ARE MORONS."
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"MORONS, PAULA?"
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"I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS ATTRACTED TO YOU."
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"ME, TOO."
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"WHAT? OK, NOW THIS IS GETTING WEIRD, ALL RIGHT."
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"AND YOU, I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN YOU BEFORE,"
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"SO THAT'S EXTRA WEIRD, ALL RIGHT?"
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"LOOK KID, WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER."
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"NOT-NOT A MEMBER? I DON'T--"
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"DON'T TREAT US LIKE IDIOTS."
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"YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER."
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"NOT A MEMBER YET."
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"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HUH?"
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"OK, OK, LOOK..."
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"I WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS THIS GIRL."
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"WHICH ONE?"
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"WAIT, YOU WERE TRYING TO IMPRESS A GIRL BY LYING?"
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"LOOK, BUDDY, YOU CAN'T GO AROUND"
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"LYING TO PEOPLE YOUR WHOLE LIFE."
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"OK!"
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"YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CALL YOUR MOTHER."
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"OK, ONLY IF I CAN CALL YOURS."
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"HEY, WE'RE CALLING YOUR MOTHER AND THAT'S FINAL."
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"GREAT! TELL HER WE'RE OUT OF MILK WHILE YOU'RE AT IT."
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"HEY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY."
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"NOT YET 'CAUSE WE'RE TOO CLOSE TO IT."
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"TWO WEEKS IT'LL BE HILARIOUS."
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"LISTEN, YOU LITTLE SMART ALECK."
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"ALECK? I'M NOT ALECK."
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"YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ALECK. YOU GOT THE WRONG KID!"
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"I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, CHIEF, I'M A WAITER."
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"I DON'T NEED TO TAKE THIS."
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"[PHONE RINGING]"
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"MY FALLEN ANGEL, HOW ARE WE--"
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"HELLO? HEY, MOM. WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
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"NOTHING. WHERE ARE YOU?"
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"COUNTRY CLUB. GETTING KICKED OUT"
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"FOR IMPERSONATING A MEMBER."
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"BRENDON..."
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"HEY, HOW DID THE TYPING TEST GO?"
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"GOOD. IT WENT WELL."
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"GOOD. GOOD."
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"MOM, THESE GUYS WANT TO TALK TO YOU."
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"REALLY? COULD YOU TELL 'EM I'M BUSY OR SOMETHING?"
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"OH, I DON'T THINK SO."
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"THESE GUYS TAKE THEMSELVES PRETTY SERIOUSLY."
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"YEAH, SO DO THESE GUYS."
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"YEAH--WHAT?"
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"NOTHING."
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"EVERYTHING WENT WELL?"
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"FANTASTIC. YOU WANNA GO OUT TO EAT TONIGHT?"
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"CAN WE GET PIZZA? PERFECT."
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"HEY, LORRAINE."
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"YEAH?"
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"HEY, IT'S ME, JOHN McGUIRK."
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"B--HOW ARE YOU?"
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"I KNOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING."
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"YOU KNOW, WHO'S THIS GUY?"
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"I CAN EXPLAIN. I, UH, I LIED."
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"YEAH. WHAT'S-- WHAT'S GOING ON?"
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"WELL, I MEAN, EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU WAS A LIE."
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"I'M A LIAR."
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"I DON'T GET IT."
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"LORRAINE! WHAT?"
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"LOOK, I WAS EMBARRASSED ABOUT WHO I WAS,"
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"AND I'M STILL EMBARRASSED."
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"YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA LIE ANYMORE."
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"I WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM, YOU KNOW."
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"WHO THE GUY STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU IS."
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"I'M A SOCCER COACH FOR KIDS. THAT'S ALL."
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"AND I'LL UNDERSTAND"
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"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THE DATE,"
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"BUT WE MIGHT STILL ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY"
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"AND HAVE A FANTASTIC EVENING TALKING ABOUT SOCCER."
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"I EVEN WENT THROUGH"
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"AND BOUGHT THE TICKETS TO THE OPERA, SEE?"
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"THE BALL'S IN YOUR COURT."
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"TAXI!"
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"[TIRES SCREECHING]"
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"SO, IT'S TOTALLY UP TO YOU."
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"ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT TWO. TWO TO SELL."
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"WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY TO BOTH OF YOU"
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"IS GOING TO TURN YOUR TWO WORLDS UPSIDE DOWN."
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"TELL US, PLEASE."
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"YOU, STARBOY, AND YOU, CAPTAIN OF OUTER SPACE,"
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"YOU GUYS ARE BROTHERS."
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"I'LL NEED A MOMENT TO PROCESS THIS."
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"ME, TOO."
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"OK."
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"WELL, WERE YOU GUYS SURPRISED?"
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"HMM. NOT SO FOND OF THE EXECUTION OF THE SURPRISE."
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"I SAW IT COMING."
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"YEAH, SO DID I. IT'S PRETTY DERIVATIVE."
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"YOU GOTTA HAVE IT BE UNEXPECTED."
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"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"
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"TO BE SURPRISING."
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