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Clips from Lucifer - ¡Diablo! (S05E05)

"And I figured out how to fix things between us."
Lucifer
"-Oh, how's that? -Well, you're going to tell me what to do."
Lucifer
"Ah, well, I'm sure that makes sense to someone."
Lucifer
"Yes."
Lucifer
"Anyhow, so Matt had no family, lived alone..."
Lucifer
"If he had a drug problem, why not stay home?"
Lucifer
"Illicit venue for illicit acts, I suppose."
Lucifer
"Be prepared for a good old-fashioned Hollywood den of sin."
Lucifer
"[Chloe] Hmm."
Lucifer
"Huh."
Lucifer
"Well, this place looks pretty tidy."
Lucifer
"Doesn't look like a drug den to me."
Lucifer
"I knew TV writing isn't all hookers and blow like the '80s,"
Lucifer
"but I had no idea how sad it had got."
Lucifer
"Over here? Number 18?"
Lucifer
"Hold on, someone's in there."
Lucifer
"-Freeze! LAPD! -Freeze! LAPD!"
Lucifer
"-Drop the gun! -Drop the gun!"
Lucifer
"Wait. I'm a real cop with a real gun."
Lucifer
"That's a prop."
Lucifer
"Put it down."
Lucifer
"Sorry. Force of habit. [chuckles]"
Lucifer
"Well, that little showdown will be fueling my fantasies for the next few millennia."
Lucifer
"-[Diablo chuckles] -What are you two doing here?"
Lucifer
"Trying to solve the case, of course."
Lucifer
"We can do it on TV."
Lucifer
"Why not in real life?"
Lucifer
"-Mm. -How did you find out about this place?"
Lucifer
"I found this..."
Lucifer
"where Matt was killed."
Lucifer
"Fell out of his pocket."
Lucifer
"Just a little thing I like to call "evidence.""
Lucifer
"You stole evidence from the crime scene?"
Lucifer
"To be fair, Detective, that is absolutely on-brand."
Lucifer
"Well, this is really bringing it back."
Lucifer
"I'd almost forgotten how much fun solving murders is. [chuckles]"
Lucifer
"Uh, excuse me. [clears throat]"
Lucifer
"Um..."
Lucifer
"What are you doing with this idiot?"
Lucifer
"[Dancer] Well, he was going to come with or without me,"
Lucifer
"and at least if I'm here, I can keep him safe."
Lucifer
"I didn't realize you two were this close."
Lucifer
"Oh, yeah."
Lucifer
"And if something does happen to him, our show dies for real,"
Lucifer
"and I cannot go through another pilot season."
Lucifer
"I've just realized why this place feels so familiar."
Lucifer
"This is where Matt was living when I first met him."
Lucifer
"Matt mentioned he had a place he liked to hide from the world when he was writing,"
Lucifer
"where none of the execs could find him."
Lucifer
"Oh, so he didn't hole up here to go on a drug binge."
Lucifer
"He came here to reconnect with a time in his life where he felt control"
Lucifer
"over his fate."
Lucifer
"Returning to the place where it all began."
Lucifer
"Yearning to find buzz--"
Lucifer
"Okay, thank you."
Lucifer
"Okay, you two, out, all right?"
Lucifer
"I have to bag the whole place for evidence,"
Lucifer
"and you both are not cops."
Lucifer
"-So play time's over. Out! -D--Don't..."
Lucifer
"Don't take offense. She used to say the exact same thing to me."
Lucifer
"[chuckles]"
Lucifer
"And you, too."
Lucifer
"Out."
Lucifer
"Right, well, if that's what you're telling me, Detective--"
Lucifer
"I am, yes. I'm feeling a little..."
Lucifer
"uh, overwhelmed by,"
Lucifer
"um, well, you right now."
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"[Ella] I don't get it."
Lucifer
"Dude had a glamorous job, tons of money,"
Lucifer
"and he ate Panda Express, like, six times a week."
Lucifer
"People are who they are, I guess."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Do you believe in the idea of predestination?"
Lucifer
"Where you're forced to walk a path that's already laid out for you?"
Lucifer
"Are you kidding?"
Lucifer
"My childhood and family background, surrounded by criminals and dirt bags,"
Lucifer
"I should've ended up in jail."
Lucifer
"But instead, I chose to get right with the Big Guy,"
Lucifer
"walk the straight and narrow, and here I am,"
Lucifer
"living proof that people can change old, bad patterns."
Lucifer
"Hmm."
Lucifer
"You got a text."
Lucifer
"[Ella] Mm."
Lucifer
"Oh! Whoa, that's a penis."
Lucifer
"That's a tattooed penis."
Lucifer
"Some patterns are harder to change than others."
Lucifer
"Wow... Uh, looks familiar."
Lucifer
"Wait, you know Craig?"
Lucifer
"No, this."
Lucifer
"[sniffs] No, I don't know Craig and his tattooed penis."
Lucifer
"Hey, pal."
Lucifer
"-Come on, man, that's my cup. -Is it?"
Lucifer
"Are you doing okay?"
Lucifer
"Just fine, up until this very moment."
Lucifer
"I'm just listening to the detective."
Lucifer
"What, you're listening to her from out here?"
Lucifer
"Well, I'm certainly not listening to you, so goodbye."
Lucifer
"-I know you're trying to push me away. -[sighs]"
Lucifer
"I brought curiosity in that,"
Lucifer
"and I realized you're just in a projective state,"
Lucifer
"'cause you're feeling vulnerable right now, and that's pretty scary."
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"Detective Douche,"
Lucifer
"if you want to see something really scary,"
Lucifer
"wait until you see what your new all-soy diet is doing to your bone density."
Lucifer
"You got a lot of ugly pictures in your head, man."
Lucifer
"You need to work on positive visualization."
Lucifer
"I made a lot of progress with that. It can help you."
Lucifer
"Actually, maybe you can help me."
Lucifer
"This cosmic impotence,"
Lucifer
"the knowledge that you're the plaything of a cruel, uncaring God,"
Lucifer
"the suffocating feeling that everything you've ever accomplished is meaningless..."
Lucifer
"You're the perfect person to ask about these things."
Lucifer
"Tell me, when you were born..."
Lucifer
"[Chloe] Hi."
Lucifer
"So, we have a new suspect in Matt Owen's murder."
Lucifer
"[sniffs]"
Lucifer
"A hot cinnamon vape cartridge?"
Lucifer
"Really, Detective, no one is more horrified by this than me,"
Lucifer
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