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Clips from Upload - The Funeral (S01E01)

"Okay, he's my boyfriend-boyfriend,"
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"and it was not premature."
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"He was dying."
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"Not according to the hospital."
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"His vitals were going back up."
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"In case you were hoping for a big payout from the car company,"
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"hope for something else."
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"Okay. Fran, is it?"
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"So there's some really amazing deep hair conditioning masks"
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"in those gift bags over there."
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"Maybe you should check those out."
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"Hair masks are for ding-dongs."
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"Okay. I'm gonna say a few words."
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"- I'll be listening. - That's good."
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"- That's why I told you. - Yeah."
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"Bye."
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"Excuse me. Thank you."
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"Thank you all for being here to celebrate"
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"in this beautiful location, with a well-curated menu"
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"and tasteful floral arrangements."
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"Though today has been blissfully perfect in many ways,"
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"we need to remember a tragic event"
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"that happened to a very important person:"
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"Rupert Tilford."
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"What?"
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"The download misfire was a shock to us all,"
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"as men and women of good conscience"
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"and as a global community."
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"Now, you can focus on the bloody aftermath..."
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"And there was a lot of blood..."
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"Or... you can focus on those beautiful four seconds,"
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"when an upload was back in his own body."
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"Come on."
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"Now, I choose to live in those four seconds,"
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"because positive thinking is truly the most powerful force"
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"we have in this world."
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"Am I right?"
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"So..."
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"to those four seconds."
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"Those four seconds!"
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"Thank you."
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"Uh... Hey."
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"Babe, um, can you clink your glass again for me?"
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"- Oh. Sure, booby. - Thanks."
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"Whoops. One more."
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"Hey. Hey, everyone."
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"Um, thank you all for coming."
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"At this time, I would just like to ask,"
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"you know, any of my friends if they want to say..."
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"anything... about me."
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"I-I always knew you jerked it to women's tennis."
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"- Okay. - Was it the grunting, or...?"
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"Okay."
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"Would anyone other than Uncle..."
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"Uncle Larry, put your fucking hand down."
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"Anyone else at all want to say something?"
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"Maybe a nice eulogy? Derek?"
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"Oh, he's gone."
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"Um, okay."
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"Uh, Bobby?"
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"Jamie?"
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"No-shows."
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"Um..."
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"Willia..."
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"William!"
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"William."
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"Uh, as, uh,"
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"manager of Nathan's apartment complex..."
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"No. No, no. No."
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"Uh, other William?"
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"He left."
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"He was a nice guy."
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"We both were named William."
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"Oh, God. Uh, let's go to New York."
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"Maybe..."
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"Oh."
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"Hey, Bethany, Glynn, Holden."
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"-Hey. -Hey. -Hi."
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"What?"
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"Hi."
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"No!"
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"No more exes, please."
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"What was wrong with my speech?"
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"Uh..."
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"well, you didn't even mention me."
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"I mean, not that I got to choose any details,"
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"but to not even be mentioned?"
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"Okay, do you have something you want to say?"
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"A month ago, I wasn't even planning on attending"
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"my own funeral,"
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"but I really never would've guessed"
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"that it would suck this hard."
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"Suck?"
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"Italian cortito suit."
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"- Oh, God. - Boutonniere."
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"- Minibar chips at nine bucks a bag."
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"- I put those back. - How about therapy dog?"
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"- Angel service? - Great. Great."
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"Why don't you just delete me, save all the money?"
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"Okay, don't tempt me."
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"Your friend Derek made it pretty clear I could go home with him."
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"You're right."
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"I'm just being ungrateful."
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"So let's just do whatever you want."
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"Thank you."
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"- This is too sad. - Yeah."
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"We're gonna get a table across the street,"
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"if you want to join."
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"Oh, uh, I can't."
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"Long commute home."
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"But... thanks."
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"Yeah. It was really great to meet you,"
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"even if it did get a little dark towards the end there."
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"Hey, Cousin Fran."
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"Nice of you to come."
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"Sorry for your loss."
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"Do you have any enemies,"
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"and can you list them in order of most likely"
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"to want to kill you to least likely?"
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"What? What is this about?"
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