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Clips from The Back-up Plan

"-Hello. -Nice to meet you."
The Back-up Plan
"-How you doing? -When are you getting married?"
The Back-up Plan
"She's kept me waiting for 22 years, so I'm not holding my breath."
The Back-up Plan
"Zoe, can l put you on the phone tree?"
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"I kind of want the whole group there when it happens."
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"Thanks. That means a lot."
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"Okay. Well, happy shopping."
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"And check out the strollers on aisle six, because they're awesome."
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"-Did you not call her? -Okay."
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"-I don't know. -Okay."
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"Stan!"
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"-Lookie! -Zoe?"
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"-Hey. -What is that?"
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"It's a Twin X Deluxe, the Rolls-Royce of strollers. Isn't it awesome?"
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"It's big."
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"Supposed to fit through most doorways."
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"I don't think so. Just let me get it sideways."
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"-Keep trying. -lt's gotta have a thing here."
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"Hang on."
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"Oh, shit!"
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"-Are you okay? -lt bit me."
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"What the hell is going on here?"
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"An outfit to bring the babies home in from the hospital."
The Back-up Plan
"How many babies are you having?"
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"I just got two of everything. Look, baby Village People."
The Back-up Plan
"How much money did you spend? Where are we gonna put all this?"
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"-Don't worry. It'll be okay. -I don't see how that's possible."
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"Haven't even had the babies and everything's changed."
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"You know what? There's the door. If you want to go, you can go."
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"Stop it. I hate it when you do that."
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"I know. I'm sorry."
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"Let me see."
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"Sorry."
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"Have you gotten to page 279 yet?"
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"No, I stopped reading when you tore out one of my pages..."
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"...and used it as a napkin."
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"Well, it says here that women in their third trimester..."
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"...experience hormonal mood swings..."
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"...and their partners just have to be extra understanding about it."
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"Are you coming on to me right now? It's kind of hard to tell."
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"-What? -You have chicken in your hair."
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"-I do? -Right there, yeah."
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"Did I get it?"
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"You know what, honey?"
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"I'm sorry, but not tonight, okay? Okay?"
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"Okay."
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"-Sorry. -That's okay."
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"Hey, babe. Hey. You want some breakfast?"
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"No, thank you."
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"It's still nighttime. Are you okay?"
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"Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Do you know how much preschool is?"
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"Twenty grand. For circle time."
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"What about college? I think colleges run about 50 grand right now."
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"But that's right now, so in 1 8 years, it'll be double that, at least."
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"And we have twins, so double it again."
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"So, what's that, like 200 grand a year?"
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"We haven't even bought books or clothes or shit."
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"They're probably gonna need cars at school."
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"You know I'm gonna be a pushover and buy them whatever they want."
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"So, what's that, like half a million a year?"
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"I don't have half a million a year. I'm in night school."
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"Just something I was thinking about. It's no big deal."
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"Why don't you come back to bed, honey?"
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"Okay."
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"-Did I wake you up? -No."
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"We're gonna be okay."
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"I have money saved."
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"It's not just about the money."
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"I'll figure out a way to make enough money."
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"What is it, then?"
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"It's just--"
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"I need to know."
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"Are you still in there?"
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"I'm still here."
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"Excuse me. Can I help you?"
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"What do you think?"
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"It's a bit overwhelming, huh?"
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"There are so many, and they're so big."
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"Well, they have to be big. Two babies, right?"
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"Yeah, but babies are small."
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"These are for, like, giant mutant babies."
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"You should see some of the babies that come in here. Total fat-asses."
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"By the way, my boyfriend and I do custom work."
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"We can solve this."
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"Zoe?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Nothing. How was your exam?"
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"Shitty. Come on, what were you doing?"
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"Nothing."
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"I gained three more pounds this week."
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"And I think it went all to my ass."
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"You look great. You always look great. I missed you today."
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"I miss my old ass."
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"You know what's weird? I never knew your old ass."
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"It was kind of like this ass, but way hotter."
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"-Baby. -Yeah?"
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"This is my old ass."
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"What?"
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"Why do you have a picture of your ass?"
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"My college boyfriend took it."
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"So in all fairness, it doesn't look exactly like that..."
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"...but it's pretty close. It's held up."
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"Yeah, it's a nice ass."
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"Look, this is me in the seventh grade."
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"This is me and Nana at my confirmation."
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"This is the last picture I have of my mom."
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"She lived for a few more years after this."
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"But we didn't take any pictures."
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"She didn't want us to remember her that way."
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"I was 8 years old when she died."
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"I can't imagine."
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"She had this great laugh. And really soft hands."
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"She used to rub my back before I went to sleep."
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"It's such a small thing, but I think about it all the time."
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"Why don't you ever talk about your dad?"
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"She was in a coma for two years after this."
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"He didn't stick around."
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"Oh, God, Zoe."
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"I'm so sorry."
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"It's no big deal."
The Back-up Plan
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